Saturday, November 30, 2002

Which 'Friend' Are You?Find out!

This is totally inaccurate lohz...piang eh...esp the part about having a way with ladies. suck it loh~


Which Music Type are You?Find out!

Haha...this is much betta...sounds more like it.


How Horny Are You? Find out!

Haha...i'm pure? wtf...


Which of our Guy friends are you? Find out @ RelentlessDivas.Net!

This is totally ridiculous dude...
-forgot my name at 10:50 PM

Thursday, November 28, 2002

A Little Bit Of Me.

i had time to do a lot of thinking today: on my way home, walking, on the bus and even while i was sleepin on the bus. first of all, i'd like to introduce myself. i'm simpler than what you think I am but more complex than who you think i am. so who am i? dun ask me. i'll never be able to give you the answer. i've done hell lotsa self-reflection today but i think i've forgotten about 90% of it by now. i simply ain't the type who would ponder over something for a long long time. after i have sorted out my thoughts on something, i simply move on.
i'm not sure if i should do some paragraphing in this blog, coz in my mind, there simply ain't no paragraphs or full-stops. i simply think and think. pardon me if i've paragraphed this shit at the wrong time. maybe i should talk about something that happened or i encountered today. well, not long after i left home, i was on the bus, standin near the rear of the bus. there was this old lady standing right beside me. and none of the freakin passengers bothered to offer a seat to the old lady. wtf...that's kinda sucky and worse of all, there's this hell of a lamer who thinks he's got style that keeps starin at me as if i've got money pasted on my face. and that freaking lamer simply pretends he did not see that old lady and juz keep staring at me. being annoyed by his actions, i simply stare at him back with the kinda eyes that says: screw off u asshole. ok. enough talk about him. let's move on. i went to replace my ez link card at buona vista becoz it was faulty and i can't seem to use it at all. damn it. it was a bad experience. i queued up for one and a half hours to get that shit done. need i say more?
went for trainin after the damn thing. i was damn late for trainin so i took a cab down to ccab. hmm...trainin was pretty ok till the last part. physical conditioning. i thought i would be able to take it. after the first activity, both my freakin legs had cramps and i had to rest at the side. damn...that sucks. i couldn't even walk properly...must've been becoz i had not done my warm up properly. damn...that cramp sure brings back memories though. it reminds me of that time when i went for a hike up Mt. Ophir (or also known as Gunung Ledang). that hike was meant to give us some hands-on experience on hiking before heading for Gunung Tahan (my sec4 annual camp activity). on the way up Ophir, i had such a bad cramp in both my legs that i simply had to rely on two of my friends for a part of the journey up. that was one moment whereby you could see clearly that who are the friends who would really help you when you are in need. i feel indebted to them for that (sounds kinda dumb but true).
after that climb, went for the actual thing: Gunung Tahan. it was a much easier climb than i had expected (or rather was told). didn't had any cramps at all along the way. the journey was great. the view near the peak (2187m) was spectacular. i had never in my life seen a view like that before. we camped near the peak for the night with the hope of being able to see the sunrise the next morning. however, we did not manage to get a glimpse of the sunrise simply becoz of the stupid rock mountain that was blocking our view. i woke up that day at around 6...couldn't sleep at all becoz of the wind which seems to be blowing our tent away. i sat near the cliff and stoned there for about two hours. lol~ i'm one hell of a stoner ain't i...for that moment. i thought that i belonged there. i seemed to be a part of the trees, the animals, the clouds, the wind, and the clear blue sky. i simply had no intention to leave there and i thought i had found a place where i truly belong. the wild. however, the restrictions that are imposed upon me by the society simply would not allow me to call that place 'home'. i went back to the place which people would call 'home' and where my family belongs after that.
hmm...so what's the moral of the story after all that crap that i've typed? i don't wish to surrender myself to the stupid rules of the society and what they deem socially-acceptable appearance. i don't like the norms, at all. i live by my own rules, my own regulations. i simply cannot tolerate restrictions other than those imposed by myself alone. i want to break free.
i don't see the rationale behind the teachings of the school. that we should dress in proper attire or tuck in our shirts and all that crap. people can't simply judge others by appearance can they? if that's what they want, there's nothing much we could do too. they are simply such pathetic losers who judge a person's worth by the way he dresses. this just kinda sucks, doesn't it? i don't judge a person by his/her looks. i judge them by their character. one may look like shit, but if he has a damn good character, who gives a damn about what he looks like? maybe those of the opposite sex does, but i don't fucking give a damn. i'm basically a prejudiced person. i go by my gut feelings most of the time. if you ever give me the impression that you're one hell of a loser or something like that when i first get to know you, then most probably you'll be more or less a loser still in my eyes no matter how you try to change yourself. but i give a damn about what i look like though, sounds kinda contradicting doesn't it? i simply try to look presentable to others when i'm out, to try to bring out the best in me...maybe. there's not much you can do about your appearance can you? you can change your hairstyle, your clothes, hang ornaments on your body like you're some kinda Christmas tree but you still can't change your freakin attitude. so i'm not really bothered about what others think of what i wear coz that's probably the best i could do. don't try to change me, i change when i want to or when i see the need to. after all, the decision to morph lies with me, not you. unless you're the special person that i would change for. if you're not, then don't bother wasting your breath on me. i don't give a shit.
i've asked myself what type of girls do i like actually? but i can't seem to have an answer for that. i don't go for looks (how true is it, i am not sure) though. i can't really seem to differentiate chio bu from the average looking gals. as long as the person is pleasant looking, doesn't have a face that i would like to land my fists on, i'm fine with it. i'd rather go for the inner beauty of the person. i need someone whom i am able to relate to. someone who is able to read my mind. someone who is able to double my joy and share my sorrows with. it's pretty hard to find someone like that isn't it? i'm just not realistic enough when it comes to affairs of the heart. i suck at this. i'll probably 'live for the moment coz life never turns out like you expect' (from the song Evening News by Lo).

hmm...i think i've left out something that i've wanted to talk about already. i'm simply not the sort who could sit down and write stuff. i need to be inspired to write. i need inspirations. i can't sit down and study for hours, it simply isn't my game. i need to get a move around after about half and hour to and hour. i'm simply not cut out for hardcore mugging. there's no way i can study in groups. i'm a loner. i study alone. with friends around me, i'll most probably engage in some conversations that are not related to studies at all. so don't bother asking me out to study together.
i'm a pretty straightforward person. things are either in black or in white to me. there seems to be nothing such as grey to me. if i don't like you, it'll be written all over my face. not that i hate you for being better than me at certain things, but simply i don't like you. i don't hate people either, i just dislike some people. so eunice, it's not that i hate you, but simply i don't like the way you laugh, the way you talk, the way you walk. if you have any freaking problems with me, you can tell it straight at my face. i'll try to take it. or simply leave it. don't expect me to change for you, i won't really be bothered to, coz, i am me. maybe there would be this special person who would make me change for whatever reasons there is, but i simply haven't found the person yet. and also, if i ever ask you whether you like me or not, just give me yes or no. don't tell me that you don't know. if you do not like me, just tell me. i'll live with it, move on with my life and wish you the best out of the rest of your life.
i've this wish, i wish to live by the sea or high up in the mountains with the person i love when i grow old. quite impossible, but it's a wish anyway. wishes aren't meant to come true i suppose. where in the world would i find a girl who would climb all the way up a mountain just to watch the sunrise with me or simply fall asleep while watching the sun set. stupid shit...
it's near 3am now...i'm still continuing with this shit. i suppose i should be ending the entry soon. i'm beginning to run out of topics to talk about for now. i'm a simple person. my philosophy of life is simply to live my life so that there would be no regrets. i try hard not to do things which will end up in me regretting the choice, basically important choices. well, as to the fact that i got retained, i can tell you for sure that i do not regret not studying then. i can't tell you why, but that is what i think. people ask me why i'm not sad that i can't get promoted or some shit like that and i can tell them that life goes on whether you're happy or sad. so why make yourself sad when you know that you could be happy? it's not that hard. it's simply about living for the moment. i got retained. that's a fact and whether i'm sad or happy, i'm still retaining. i'd rather be a happy retainee and move on with my life than whine like some hell of a loser that i can't get promoted.
side effects of me getting retained? not much...the most obvious thing is that there seems to be more nagging from my mum and dad (expected). and things they think i should do when the school term starts next year. ego? my ego does not include academic results...maybe it's included, but in a very small percentage only. i don't fucking give a shit about the results. you can get full marks for every subject but you're still a loser if you ain't got a good character or a bunch of good friends. what matters to me is not the results, but what i am able to achieve out of life. i know i can perform much better than what i have achieved but it is simply not me if i really sit down and mug for what they call 'excellent' results.
i've never liked acquiring knowledge through school textbooks. i'd rather read from newspapers, magazines, from Discovery Channel or even from documentaries. i prefer having a broader scope of knowledge though. things in school kinda bores me, especially maths. i can't see the damn reason behind me learning all the stupid algebraic equations and differentiation techniques. it's kinda shitty...and believe it or not, there's this world organization that's opposing against teaching these dumb mathematical techniques in school (yEaH~). let's hope they succeed one day and relieve my descendants of all this crap. i prefer talking to people to get information. i don't talk to my dad often but we talk sense most of the time we talk and with my uncles too. i learn a great deal of things from them about how the actual world works. it's interesting to know how banks calculate interests and all that shit...lol~
ok. i think this will be the last thing that i'll be talking about for now. i hope so. about my background, i'm a malaysian. been studying in singapore since primary one. travel to and fro everyday. that's it. don't probe into things like how i manage my time and stuff. i've repeated so darn many times that i'm already bored of it. i don't sleep a lot. i sleep around four hours everyday during school days. i simply don't find the need to sleep that much. i'm still alive and kicking though i sleep four hours per day so i don't see any freaking problems with that. i don't come from a rich family. i'm not that poor either. i just get by. i'm not a freaking rich kid as you think i am. if you still think i'm a rich kid, there's not much i can do either. i find that i spend money extravagantly most of the time, i simply don't know how to save. damn...if i continue on like this in the future, i may need to go around begging for money. i don't give a damn about freaking rich kids or whatsoever, whether you're rich or not it doesn't bother me a bit. however rich you may seem, the money are earned by your parents, not by you. i don't like to feel indebted to people but i don't like people eating off me either. i hate it when people borrows money from me. not that i'm such a miser, but that i simply can't remember people whom i've loan money to after some time and i can't open up my mouth to ask the person for the money back even if he's not a close friend of mine. i suck at this too...damn it.
fame and wealth means naught to me while compassion and empathy is everything. i don't fucking give a shit about all the fame that i can get. i just want to get my life over and done with. do what i want to do and rest in peace. i admire people who are able to show care and concern for the people around them most of the time. i simply adore them. they are people whom i think are real 'human beings'. they are able to feel for others and care for them. these are the people who would make our world a better place for all. why can't this world have more of such people and less of jerks and dumbasses who try to act smart or act cool most of the time.
i suppose that's all for now. i really can't think of any more shit for me to write down now. maybe it's becoz of the time, a bit late, a bit brain dead. i don't know. after you've read through this whole page of crap (and i apologize for writing such a long entry), i don't expect you to look at me from a different perspective. i'm still me. maybe this would shed new light for you in understanding me. but i can tell you that i don't end here. do not try to treat me differently or change the way you are becoz of anything that i've said down here. the reason that you're still a friend of mine is becoz i like you the way you are now and not the way i want you to be. (2787 words) <--- wtf
-forgot my name at 3:40 AM

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

Are You Crazy??Find out!

Not true lohz...
-forgot my name at 11:55 PM

Which Kid's TV Character are You?Find out!

-forgot my name at 11:52 PM

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

-forgot my name at 4:35 PM

Incubus - Pardon Me

A decade ago, I never thought I would be,
at twenty three, on the verge of spontaneous combustion.
Woe-is-me.
But I guess that it comes with the territory;
an ominous landscape of never ending calamity.
I need you to hear, I need you to see that I have had all I can take and
exploding seems like a definite possibility to me.
So pardon me while I burst into flames.
I've had enough of the world and it's people's mindless games.
So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame.
Pardon me, pardon me....I'll never be the same.
Not two days ago, I was having a look in a book
and I saw a picture of a guy fried up above his knees.
I said, "I can relate," cause' lately I've been thinking of combustication
as a welcomed vacation from the burdens of the planet earth.
Like gravity, hypocrisy, and the perils of being in 3-D...
and thinking so much differently.
So pardon me while I burst into flames.
I've had enough of the world and it's people's mindless games.
So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame.
Pardon me, pardon me....I'll never be the same.

Just downloaded this song today. It's a damn nice song. Perfect for blasting yourself to Mars or getting a complaint from your neighbour.
-forgot my name at 1:28 AM

Ok...today had training. Shag. Not entirely shag but just a bit exhausted. I'm chatting on irc right now, as usual, laming around #ajc. Now there's a bugger who's trying to 'terrorise' me. dunno wat the hell he means anyway but i know he's an asshole. coz he's got a fren who's an asshole too. one of the bugger's nick is James___ he juz kinda hates chinese high guys and fortunately, i'm one of 'em. so he hates me. lol~ doesn't really make much sense but that's how the world of losers work i suppose. they just ain't got the ballz to stay behind long enough to talk to me. they kinda live in a world of their own i suppose...tellin me how a loser i am...and believin it with all their ballz...no idea why. now dat son of a shit(i shdn't bring other ppl's parents into e picture so i used shit) has left the channel and leavin James___ down there...he's not tokin to me at the moment...maybe he'll start gettin his frenz to come...i dunno. freakin losers.
-forgot my name at 12:07 AM

Monday, November 25, 2002

Haiz...it's 2 am liaoz and I still hafen think of wat to write down for this blog of mine. today's a pretty good day...been raining almost the whole evening...it's gettin cosy in my bed...perfect weather for me to go and sleep...lol. i haf no idea why i watched so many hrs of tv today...a record for the month i suppose. watched Medabots(a cartoon on channe i) then watched Armageddon(damn touching) and after that i watched The Thin Red Line(a very philosphical movie as arthur would say)...haha. it's a pretty good movie...successfully portrayed the fear and problems faced by the soldiers out on the battlefield and also sets people to thinking about the humanity side of a war. haha...i'm soundin like some freakin critics liaoz...betta stop this now.
haha...me kinda obsessed wif Lifehouse's songs recently...tryin to download as many songs by them as i can...their songs are not bad...the lyrics sets u to thinking about stuff. haven't got time for me to sit down and reflect upon my pathetic 17years of life today...so there's not much thing for me to talk about...btw...lookin at e quiz dat i've done below, is dat girl vanessa carlton? like quite chio lidat hor...haha...
i'll try to think of sth to write down tmr...or else it'll be darn bored havin nothin to write at all..
-forgot my name at 2:45 AM

-forgot my name at 1:59 AM

Sunday, November 24, 2002

-forgot my name at 2:11 AM

- Which Legolas are You? -
-forgot my name at 2:05 AM

Haiz...Just thought I should type something down today. Haven't really been entering anything into the blog. Damn slack...haha...
Did a bit of thinking on the bus while on my way home today...thought of quite a lot of things...some I have forgotten...so I guess I'll just type down what I have remembered(maybe I would remember the rest as I go along) haha...
One of e things dat I thought about is about the way I tok 2 ppl lohz...it's lyk...i find it hard to tok 2 some gals loh...realli no idea why...but some gals i realli can like juz tok cork wif dem and dun hafta care bout anything...to e guys, i can tok cork to almost everyone of dem lohz...it just depends on if i wan to do dat...haha it's lyk...i seldom dislike anyone and very few ppl can make me dislike them or even hate them...so far, there has only been one. haha...those who were wif me in e 1st 3 mths shd noe who...a gal...haha...
i dun realli seem to understand y i behave lidat...maybe it's becoz i'm shy? lol~ a lot of ppl would beg to differ...it's lyk...suck it lohz...haha...i'm not sure abt myself lohz. something seems to be holdin me back actualli...i'm not as courageous as i think i am...i can't seem to gather up my courage n go speak to e gal dat i like or anythin lidat...no idea y...i used to haf e courage to do so...in e 1st 3 mths...maybe it was becoz of e bad experience dat i had...wadeva.
it's lyk...sometimes i wud realli wonder...among all the frenz ard me rite now, how many of them realli noes me? i'm a tough guy to understand...i ain't as simple as u ppl think i am...i try to project myself as a simple guy but i'm not dat simple after all...u ppl may say dat i'm a happy-go-lucky kinda guy but i simply ain't lidat while i'm alone...there are voices within me...thoughts about my future flashin thru my mind...i know what i wan to achieve when i grow up and i believe i can achieve wat i wan to achieve but who am i to control destiny? i am but just a mortal, helpless as to what lies ahead of me.
i seem to portray a diff kinda image when i'm at home and when i'm out wif my frenz. i'm sort of a thinker when i'm at home...i dun talk crap and i make sense in watever i say...i'm in total control of everything that's goin on around me...as when i'm out wif my frenz, i'm whoever i wan to be. maybe i am trying too hard...trying too hard to be in control of my own fate...i do not wish to come into this world and leave this world unnoticed. i want to leave a part of me behind. a part that would do good to the world. am i asking for too much?
sometimes i get so tired, so tired of being strong but i have no desire to be weak either. contradicting? i tend to take things in my stride and i believe that nothing could bring me down but i am no superman...even heroes have the right to bleed. sometimes i just wish to let loose and break down and cry(over what?)...maybe all this is just too much for me to take...after all, i'm but a 17 yr old kid who ain't got no shit achievements outta life.
think i'm sufferin from a kinda split personality kinda thing...a part of me craves for all the attention i can get, yet another part of me detests the part of me that craves attention. exactly which part is me? i have no idea.
-forgot my name at 1:02 AM

Saturday, November 23, 2002

You'll probably love eneri.net.
Which Koi Variety Are You?

-forgot my name at 9:55 PM

Which Evangelion Child Are You?

-forgot my name at 9:51 PM

Which toe are you? o_O~?

-forgot my name at 9:48 PM

Boom Boom Dollar Supportive, understanding and the perfect friend! You have an open mind and a compassionate spirit. You've got a great attitude and your friends place a lot of trust in you. Your idea of the perfect relationship would be one that is equal on all grounds.

-forgot my name at 9:45 PM

Which Sesame Street Muppet Are You?

-forgot my name at 9:43 PM

Friday, November 22, 2002

Which Hogwarts Student Are You?

-forgot my name at 11:56 PM

This song's kinda old actually...Y2K album of Lifehouse. This song's kinda sad. I nearly cried when I heard the song...haha...i'm such a wimp...wadeva.

Lifehouse - Everything
find me here
speak to me
i want to feel you
i need to hear you
you are the light
that is leading me
to the place where
i find peace again
you are the strength
that keeps me walking
you are the hope
that keeps me trusting
you are the life to my soul
you are my purpose
you are everything
and how can i
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
you calm the storms
you give me rest
you hold me in your hands
you won't let me fall
you still my heart
and you take my breath away
would you take me in
would you take me deeper now
'cause you're all i want
you are all i need
you are everything
everything

-forgot my name at 1:58 AM

Thursday, November 21, 2002

This is in Chinese GB format. (In response to jing and yuzhong's blog entry)

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This is an excerpt from the book <<Ѱ��һ���п��ѵ�����>>
���Ƿḻ�ع�һ��,
������Ϊ��̫�������,
����������������
��Щ���������ǵ�������,
����ȥ��
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Live your life so that there would be no regrets when you look back at
it in the future.
To be or not to be, that is the question.

-forgot my name at 3:13 AM

Wednesday, November 20, 2002

Haiz...today completely shagged. Didn't have enough sleep yesterday and ended up off-form today at training...damn. Dunno how the hell I managed to concede 2 goals today...not my usual self at all. I can't even dribble my ball past anyone...what the hell.
My physical is declining like hell...maybe I ought to do something about it. I dunno why the hell I am training so hard for coz the chances of me getting into the team is rather slim. Maybe it's for the love of the game? Or maybe it's just that I'm still clinging onto the hope that I would be able to make it into the team next year. Whatever.
I'm getting pretty bored lately...no one's asking me out and I'm too lazy to ask people out. I'm not hinting anything down here though. It's just what I feel...aRgH wAdEvA. I need to think of something to do for the rest of the holidays...still got about five more weeks to go. If I don't think of something to do for the holiday I will be stoning to death lohz...any suggestions?
-forgot my name at 9:41 PM

What Drink Are You?

-forgot my name at 1:22 AM

Tuesday, November 19, 2002

It's kinda boring now that it's the holidays...nothing much to do. Just been slackin around everyday. Things are sort of like a routine for me nowadays. Waking up, eat, go for trainings, online. That's about it...kinda sucks.
I've been sleeping practically the whole of today. Woke up early to send my aunt off. Only slept for 5hrs...cannot take it. Went to sleep again at about 2pm....and woke up at 9.30 haha...life's pretty piggy for me I suppose.
Been feelin kinda bored: should I get a job or should I not? I've never worked before and I don't see the point in me going to work actually. There are a lot of things I want to get this hol but I'm lazy to go buy them and I don't have the funds to get everything I want. Maybe life's like this...you can't have everything you want. I'm running out of words to say already. So...
-forgot my name at 11:21 PM

Monday, November 18, 2002

Hoobastank - Ready For You

Go on
Make me feel it's useless
When in fact it's you that
Need to have me near
So now
Keep me at safe distance
And with a little persistence
I'll make it crystal clear
I'll be around
Only if you want me to
Be there by your side
I'm ready for you
So don't be afraid
'Cause I know what
You're going through
So when you think it's time
I'm ready for you
Now you seem to
Be content with
A one sided friendship
With you I've got to chase
Slow down
So I can smell the roses
But the road you chose is
Crooked and unpaved
My tires are spinning
But to no avail
That I'll be around
Only if you want me to
Be there by your side
I'm ready for you
Don't be afraid
'Cause I know what
You're going through
So when you think it's time
I'm ready for you
I'm ready for you
That I'll be around
Only if you want me to
Be there by your side
I'm ready for you
I'll be around
'Cause I know what
You're going through
So when you think it's time
I'm ready for you

Feelin kinda lazy so I thought I should just feature a song down here. lol...Get this song if you haven't heard it before. It's nice, trust me.
-forgot my name at 11:00 PM

I Wish You Were Here

I dig my toes into the sand
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind
Pretend that I am weightless
And in this moment I am happy...happy
I wish you were here
I lay my head into the sand
The sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it
I'm counting UFO's
I signal them with my lighter
And in this moment I am happy...happy
I wish you were here
The world's a roller coaster and I am not strapped in
Maybe I should hold with care but my hands are busy in the air

This is one of my favourite songs. It's by Incubus. The song don't really reflect what I feel coz I dunno who I am wishing to be here at this moment but if you have not heard this song before, try to get it. It's nice. :)


-forgot my name at 12:35 AM

Sunday, November 17, 2002

Just heard Five for Fighting's Superman on my playlist. I kinda feel sad after listening to that song...no idea why. I think I'm thinking a bit too much recently. Maybe I shouldn't think so much, not good for health haha...will age faster if I think too much then I won't be young and cute anymore :p
I think I'm getting more and more despo liaoz...damn...this sucks man. I seem to be on the lookout for chio bu and such more often.
Haiz...so sian...tmr got training. Got a physical test. Really wonder how I'll fare for the stupid test...I guess I'll have to pray real hard for tomorrow. My fitness level seems to be failing me...think I've grown fatter over these few weeks of holiday...damn.
-forgot my name at 2:16 AM

Saturday, November 16, 2002

Haiz...finally back to home from the chalet. The chalet was not too bad though it could get pretty boring at times :b Dunno what to type now so I guess I'll stop now until I think of something to write about...haha
-forgot my name at 11:40 PM

Thursday, November 14, 2002

Alright. Let's face it. I sorta think I'm a loser. Do you think so? I have no idea. I just seem to have this kinda sucky feeling within me that tells me to get a lowdown life. What the hell...I just kinda think I suck as a human being I have no idea. Maybe that is the truth or maybe I am blinded by all the people around me who makes me feel that I'm kinda important.
I just seem to have lost faith in myself. I seem to be escaping what I fear though I am always trying to tell myself to face whatever I fear coz there's nothing to fear but fear itself. Life just kinda sucks right? I just seem to feel that way. I need to get away. Away from all the things that seems to be restricting my every moves. Life seems to be pretty boring, everything just kinda sucks...I don't know...I need to get a life. Damn...
I just dunno what I want out of my life...A part of me craves all the attention that I can get and yet another part of me detests the part of me that craves attention...It's like so what if you're good looking? So what if you're born rich? I just don't seem to give a shit about those things. What matters to me is whether you're being you. I hate people who lives beneath a facade...they just suck(and I think I'm one of 'em)...Don't try talking to me about this shit that I wrote above...I don't really want to talk about it, it's just part of my thoughts just that I'm putting them in a form that you people can see. Just read it if you want and then you can do whatever you want with it. Don't come bugging me with your philosphy of life or some crap like that...sUcK iT
-forgot my name at 2:40 PM

Which Avril Lavigne Song Are You?

-forgot my name at 12:03 PM

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

Today turned out to be better than I expected it to be. Had hockey training with the bunch of guys and it was totally enjoyable :) Sometimes I really wonder what on earth made me sign up for that SAT shit...I only went for half a lecture until now.
Been rather busy these few days with lots of activities going on around me. I'll be going for a chalet for the next few days so I won't be updating my blog. This would be the first time I'm going to a chalet(sounds lame but true). Not that no one has asked me to go before, but that I always try not to go to a chalet. I somehow have the feelin that a chalet would be pretty boring and I'd rather idle my time away in front of my comp. So what on earth made me go for the chalet this time? I suppose the main reason would be that I cherish my life more than anything else(would risk getting killed if I did not go for the chalet).
It's been raining for the past few days and it is still raining at this moment. Hope I'd be able to get a good sleep tonight and get ready for the chalet.

-forgot my name at 11:00 PM

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

November, 12th...my birthday. The day turned out pretty well though it started out quite bad because of the SAT thingy. The workshop was completely boring and I had to sleep my way through it, what a waste of money. A lot of people wished me a happy birthday today and some whom I didn't think would remember my birthday actually did and that was really something. There are people wishing me a happy birthday even as I'm typing this blog.
Thought I ought to type something serious now I'm 17...haha~no more acting cute :p This can be considered one of the best birthday I've ever had coz this is probably the first time where there are so many people celebrating it for me(sounds pretty lame, but true).
It really makes me wonder about whether there are such thing as 'Forever Friends'...I wonder if my friends would still remember me say 10 years or 20 years down the road...maybe this is life.
I don't really seem to be the type of person who would look back and reflect upon my mistakes cause I've never managed to figure out my mistakes even though I reflect upon it...I'd love to live the present and live it to the fullest cause you never know when you might die. Do you believe in fate? I do. I believe a lot in fate and I try not to force things through: what is meant to be yours will be yours. I shall not type any further today...getting tired. I'll type more tomorrow I suppose or maybe a bit later...
-forgot my name at 11:18 PM

Monday, November 11, 2002

lalala~ it's me again...haha...sometimes i wonder if ppl wud juz simply get sick of readin all these shit that i haf posted...don't care...i juz post...u wan to read den read...dun wan to read fine by me :b
today had the first SAT lect of my life...found the lect sorta interestin and borin at the same time...the ang moh givin the talk was rather interestin...tryin hard to crack some lame jokes to make us laugh and indeed it was lame enough for me to laugh at him.....haha~
my frenz and i found the shit totally too boring for us and we packed our stuff and chiong off to nyp at the first break(not sure if there are anymore after we left)...after dat...we chiong to grassroots to bowl...haha...i suck totally...hafen bowled since sec2 i think...haha..but nvm..it was good experience...
the lanes were booked by others at 1.45pm and we had to leave by then...thinking it was still early, someone suggested goin to ktv...and off we went...my first trip to a ktv...wOw...exciting...after gettin in and booked a room and all the stuff...my wallet was totally shagged and so was my throat...a room full of guys singing...or rather shouting...we picked darn lots of songs and some real funky ones like thubthumping...haha...we sang the hell outta us in that song and everyone was totally shagged after dat...kinda lame though but it was fun...and now i'm back at home...thinkin abt anythin interestin dat might happen to me or nothin might happen after all...haha...totally no idea at all...i guess i'll juz hafta wait and see...
-forgot my name at 9:07 PM

Sunday, November 10, 2002

noticed something? my blog's different now...i juz deleted away the previous blog...everything's gone...haha...nvm...jiu de bu qu...xing de bu lai.....hahaha~
this is so much better lohz.....kaoz eh...dat previous blog was like giving me so much prob......buay tahan...
so...how's this new one? lookin good?
-forgot my name at 7:44 PM

haiz...sunday...a boring day for me but i kinda like it the way it is...able to slack at home the whole day and juz do wadeva i feel like doing...haha~
there's a SAT workshop tomoro and i haf no idea wat time the stupid thingy is held and where it is held...damn...gonna hafta ask someone reliable abt the exact time...
it's been raining almost the whole day down here i suppose...i woke up at about 1pm and it started raining at about 2...perfect weather for slping...haha~i'm such a pig...haha...it's kinda dumb to say this but i've only woken up for 6 hrs up till now...actually i woke up at abt 10.30 but after realizing that i haf absolutely nothing to do for today, i juz went back to slp and woke up at 1.....haha~kinda dumb...i'm kinda wanting for tuesday to come coz it ought to be a happy day for me :b.....wonder how the day will turn out anyway...
i'm still not very sure how this blog thingy works and honestly speaking, i'm having quite some problems wif this thing...i'd rather set up a homepage of my own if i'm not that lazy...haha~ but i won't know exactly wat to publish on my webpage anyway...kinda dumb to see a webpage of someone wif only one page haha....it's still raining and i'm listening to the mp3s that are playing on my com...it's time for me too get some more new songs i suppose...gettin kinda sick of my playlist already despite having 700mp3s on the list.....haha
-forgot my name at 7:43 PM