Friday, January 24, 2003

i'm back with a new entry again. pretty fast eh? i guess it's all becoz i really need some space for me to let out everything that's been bothering me. i very much would like to burst into flames...whether i'd be able to rise above the flame is another problem. i just want to burst.
life's not as smooth sailing as it may seem. i'm pretty tired at the moment, mentally. all the shit's that's been going around me seems far too much for me to take. i'm so very afraid that i will not be able to continue with whatever that i want to do and repeat whatever shit that has happened to me in the previous year. my whole life's pretty screwed up right now i must say. i dunno if anyone screwed it up for me or did i screw it up unknowingly somehow but i can say that it's all messed up. i am not very in control of my life now. instead, i'm just existing day by day. following the day by day routines that is deemed fit by the society. this is pretty sucky. i just can't seem to relate to most of the things that i'm doing right now. i can't find reasons for most of the stuff that i'm doing. totally fucked up i would probably say. damn...
i want to break free. want to get away from all this shit. want to fly away. far far away. away from this mundane world of desires. to live a life i would call 'my life'. is that possible? i doubt so. (ended on 22nd January)
(continued on 24th January) was supposed to post this thing yesterday when i've continued from it but somehow i was too tired and forgot that i still have this unfinished entry on hand. think i'd say sorry to the hockey guys over here coz i've skipped two trainings over the two days. one official and one unofficial. it was intentional. i was in no mood to train at all. damn tired, mentally. so sick and tired of stuff. just needed to have some kinda time of my own. i'll be going for the next training. yupz...though there seems to be some kind of problem with my left wrist. the pain in the wrist just doesn't seem to go away. no idea why. guess that's about all for now.

-forgot my name at 8:48 PM

Sunday, January 19, 2003

Resolution
sorry people. it's kinda been ages since i updated this shit. sometimes i would just look at the page and feel like putting something down. but somehow i just don't really know what to put down right here. it's like i've got so much to say but i don't know what to say first or whichever is appropriate for me to put down.
another thing is that i've been very much busy this year. i've kinda forced myself to do a bit of tutorials each day no matter how tired i am. is that good or is that bad? it's kinda how sucky this year seems. although it's only the first three months of school for me, every other people around me just seems to be working so hard. for whatever reasons...i just kinda missed the good old days where no one does tutorials in the first three months...those were the days. my new class ain't too bad i suppose, haven't really interacted with most of them. but i suppose the guys could click on pretty well though. bunch of slackers and lamers...lol~ people have been asking me a lot about this and i suppose i should just answer it once and for all here: my class have no chio bu.
oh damn...i've run out of points to write already. this is so damn pathetic...oh ok. hockey's getting pretty fun this year coz of the new coach...he's a pretty interesting guy. a cheeky(dirty) old man i would say. his trainings are pretty tiring but we could really learn a lot of things from it and everything that he makes us do is pretty meaningful i think. though he don't say it out, we could figure it out what each of the practices are for. guess i'll really have to work a lot on my physical conditions. been slacking far too long and my stamina's totally pathetic at the moment. due to my stupid sprain during the holidays, my right ankle seems to have some problems already. it just doesn't seem to heal completely...always would get a pain here and there. damn...i doubt it would heal coz i'm always doing sports and not giving it a chance to rest and heal. that's probably a sacrifice that each of us have to make in life though.
raining cats and dogs outside now. the weather's perfect for sleeping and i wonder why i woke up so early. should have just stayed in bed. now i'm trying to keep myself occupied doing stupid things...kinda dumb. maybe i'll go back to sleep after my lunch or something...quite tired. and i've still got tutorials to do...kinda restricting myself from going online too much this year as i've gotta work on my studies...life of a retainee. guess i've been too high profile in school already...several jc1s kinda know who i am and is partly due to my shitty hairstyle which is banned by my freaking pd tutor. what a freaking loser.
kinda broke now also. got so many things that i want to buy and so many events coming up in february and march. damn...really have to start saving up already or else i'd be borrowing money from people by that time. damn...i've been spending too much already i think. my bank account's left with only about 10 bucks i think. spent about 1.5k last year, on top of my usual pocket money. i just can't seem to manage my finance well...no wonder i flunked my maths all the time. there are a lot of songs that i want to download but somehow i can't seem to remember the names of the song everytime i go online and therefore i'm still trying damn hard to think of the exact names...damn. if you guys have any nice songs to recommend, tag my board. don't give me ballads or some shitty love songs...those are not my types. thanks...
-forgot my name at 12:53 PM

what fucked version of hello kittie are you?
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How azn are u?
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I'm completely down-to-earth!

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.



Just stuffed full of surprises. No one ever knows what you're going to do next. The greatest mystery to you is, naturally, "how do they get the caramel in the Caramilk bars?"





I am Cleo. Pet me!

Find your whimsy character at kelly.moranweb.com.






I am Jesh!

Find out which of Kelly's friends you are at kelly.moranweb.com.






I am the invisible Bobert!

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-forgot my name at 12:07 PM

Wednesday, January 08, 2003

I WAS A GIFTED CHILD
i had my niche.
intelligent. creative. or artistic.
what kind of child were you?
(brought you by april)


-forgot my name at 9:38 PM

Saturday, January 04, 2003

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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i'm gay!!!!! yay!!!!!
-forgot my name at 9:38 PM

You're Doomed to be Haldir! Reduced from your role as guide and ambassador of Lothlorien, your now "first grumpy elf encountered since Rivendell" there isn't much else to say about you save that it must really suck hanging out with the bobsy twins all day. Which other character of FOTR are you doomed to be? brought to you by www.councilofelrond.com

What's Your Magic Power?
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What Sort of Romantic Are You?
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---What fast food condiment are you?---
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I am Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood, representative of the Elves in the Fellowship of the Ring. I contributed my archery skills, keen senses and prettiness to the Company, so don't you start. In the movie, I'm played by Orlando Bloom.
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-forgot my name at 9:26 PM