name: zesin.
loves: life, music, photography.
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doppelganger.
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.: contact :.
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.: myspace :.
.: facebook :.
.: friendster :.
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.: reads :.
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.: dith :.
.: ming :.
.: sancia :.
.: huixian :.
.: renrong :.
.: yuzhong :.
.: siaowen :.
.: jiaquan :.
.: ah teck :.
.: chewy :.
.: justin :.
.: jing :.
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.: archive :.
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11.2002 12.2002 01.2003 02.2003 03.2003 04.2003 06.2003 07.2003 08.2003 09.2003 11.2003 12.2003 09.2004 10.2004 01.2005 02.2005 03.2005 04.2005 05.2005 06.2005 07.2005 08.2005 09.2005 10.2005 11.2005 12.2005 01.2006 02.2006 03.2006 04.2006 05.2006 06.2006 07.2006 08.2006 09.2006 10.2006 11.2006 12.2006 01.2007 02.2007 03.2007 04.2007 05.2007 06.2007 07.2007 08.2007 09.2007 10.2007 11.2007 12.2007 01.2008 02.2008 03.2008 04.2008 05.2008 06.2008 07.2008 08.2008 09.2008 10.2008 11.2008 01.2009 02.2009 03.2009 04.2009 07.2009 12.2009 01.2010 04.2010
loves: life, music, photography.
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doppelganger.
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.: contact :.
- - - - - - - -
.: myspace :.
.: facebook :.
.: friendster :.
- - - - - - - -
.: reads :.
- - - - - - - -
.: dith :.
.: ming :.
.: sancia :.
.: huixian :.
.: renrong :.
.: yuzhong :.
.: siaowen :.
.: jiaquan :.
.: ah teck :.
.: chewy :.
.: justin :.
.: jing :.
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.: archive :.
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11.2002 12.2002 01.2003 02.2003 03.2003 04.2003 06.2003 07.2003 08.2003 09.2003 11.2003 12.2003 09.2004 10.2004 01.2005 02.2005 03.2005 04.2005 05.2005 06.2005 07.2005 08.2005 09.2005 10.2005 11.2005 12.2005 01.2006 02.2006 03.2006 04.2006 05.2006 06.2006 07.2006 08.2006 09.2006 10.2006 11.2006 12.2006 01.2007 02.2007 03.2007 04.2007 05.2007 06.2007 07.2007 08.2007 09.2007 10.2007 11.2007 12.2007 01.2008 02.2008 03.2008 04.2008 05.2008 06.2008 07.2008 08.2008 09.2008 10.2008 11.2008 01.2009 02.2009 03.2009 04.2009 07.2009 12.2009 01.2010 04.2010
this is my sanctuary.
yeaps. as many of you well know. i was out hanging out with the hockey guys at sentosa. i must say the day started out pretty bad with an ultra heavy soaking rain that almost soaked right through my boxers. ok i was exaggerating. my shoes were definitely soaked though.
so i went right over to sentosa after collecting some of my notes from my hall. yes i skipped the supposed physics makeup lecture. don't see the need to go there when i've already completed the tutorial the lecture was supposed to be talking about so yeah just fuck it. i needed the sleep. ain't done much over at sentosa actually. just soaked in the jacuzzi shit for like two freaking hours in the rain. it was kinda dumb actually but if i don't take off my clothes and soak myself in it, the rest of the people there would probably just throw me in with all my clothes on so i ain't got much of a choice. so it was like frigging cold even when you're in the water but yeah whatever. at least i've got a not bad body to show. muahaha
ok back to the point. yes it's supposed to be a farewell shit for justin which he keeps on thinking of zao-ing. so we went to have dinner at shit-i-forgot-the-name-of-the-restaurant which is at ECP. had some seafood thing la. i remembered there was crabs...veges...crabs...crabs...ah whatever. i ain't got enough sleep man. kinda half alive now. we made our way down to tanjong beach for the grand finale of course. to get him drunk so that he'll screw my ass when he's drunk or something. ok my room mate's keep on messaging me on msn telling me he can't access the student link or some shit which is totally annoying at this point of time. i shall ignore him and continue blogging and reply him only when i fucking feel like it. fuck la. i shouldn't have given him my msn. knn. ok back to the happy stuff. ah justin didn't get drunk as we'd all like to but he's kinda wasted too. he's tired and tired and tired. just like me. argh. oh and i've finally gotten to try out something that i think is real cool man. those flaming alcoholic drinks that i always see them drink on tv. man. ok that was actually supposed to be a forfeit for keep on losing in the freaking confusing number game but to be honest, a part of me wanted to lose cos i really wanted to try it la. haha. and yes i've drank quite a lot yesterday. not as in alcoholic content but just a lot. cos somehow i wasn't able to count properly last night or every other night then i had to drink corona for darn lotsa times. yeah of course i didn't get drunk as i would pretty much like to for the first time in my life. i must say a part of me really wanted to get drunk la. but yeah never mind. i still hold my liquor pretty well. ah but it was totally great fun sabo-ing each other in the games that we play so that we can make em drink or something. we all had fun of course. yup. i just slept like 3 hours today then i had to come back home to do my stuff. already got my printer so yeah it's gonna be one less thing on my to-do list. that is if i got one to begin with in the first place. ah what am i saying. fuck la.
-forgot my name at 2:26 PM
escape artist.
man. i was just lamenting how little time i have available for myself. yes. for myself. at home. i really do so wanna spend soooo much time at home. i couldn't even find time to blog for the whole day until now. there were so many a times when i wanted to talk about something but i was preoccupied with checking out all the petty details on my courses' lectures and tutorials and all. damn. today was totally wasted on all those stuff. finding out what books i oughta buy, what notes i need, what tutorial i need to do by next week, how each of the course goes and how to take up a minor etc etc. the list is just never ending man. i'm still coping. don't worry.
yes i've managed to do up my tutorials for econs and physics which would be needed next week. econs was like totally fucked. i wanted to like show both my middle fingers at the tutorial after completing it for wasting my ink. it's like pilot g-tec know. the ink's like damn ex can. and it used up one page of my foolscap. ah but physics is hard and math is gonna be harder. i'm gonna be looking at complex numbers and a whole lotta crap which i barely yes barely understood even when i took my A levels. so it's just gonna be fucked up. i'll try my best to read up on it. this just so reminds me of the time when i first started repeating my j1. i always did my tutorials beforehand cos it's totally no kick. i wonder how long i could sustain this time around.
i'm seriously neglecting so many different important aspects of my life now man. i'm not getting enough deafening music in my ears, not enough time to watch all the shows i've downloaded, not enough time to play morrowind or fifa 05, not enough time to really sit down and watch tv, not enough time for my favorite mtvs, not enough time to read my bedtime stories and not enough time to meet up with all the people i've always wanted to meet up with man. of course, there's always time for porn and all. it doesn't take up too much of my time. my schedule's just kinda packed la. i'm sorry. probably i'm more of like disorganised rather than busy actually. i'm so pathetic i'm trying to watch mtv while i'm blogging at this moment la. can you just imagine. man. i've been listening to the same tracks on my mp3 player for darn long i realised. i need a new list man. fuck. ah i hafta go down to my fricking hall to get my complex notes and then move right on to meet the guys. at least i know i'll be seeing jason cos i really ain't seen him for a long long time. and i do miss him more than the others somehow. hmm. fuck la. i'm turning gay right.
-forgot my name at 2:53 AM
Q: What's worse than a flying roach?
A: A flying cricket.
knn.
-forgot my name at 2:10 AM
yeah i met up with david at queensway yesterday and kinda shopped around for shoes. it ain't particularly worth mentioning actually. but the stuff we talked about is definitely worth a mention over here.
it ain't something new actually. but something that i've talked about for a zillion times on my blog already. it's actually surprising to me cos it's the first time someone has actually talked about that issue with me in real life you know. it's different to talk it out with someone and witness their reactions first hand. so what were we talking about? love duh. yeah he was asking me about how to get chicks i think. i ain't no love doctor but i just shared what i feel about this sorta thing nonetheless. i won't go into details over here. if you want you can ask me personally and i might consider sharing with you. so we were talking talking while sitting at some sofa in ikea then somehow the topic went to what i think about love. so being a firm believer in whatever i believe in, i narrated most of the stuff that i blogged about. all the crap about true love and all that. man. it is the first time that someone actually agrees with me that it all boils down to sex man. as in after you look through the superficial disguise of love and all, it's all sex that's underneath. i mean how often would you find guys who actually would admit to this kinda stuff you know. that most of the mushy stuff that guys say to girls are actually prelude to sex? it's just like how those MAXIM magazines put it:
Girl: Do you love me?
Guy: I love you forever baby. (So can we have sex now?)
that's just how it goes baby. i don't wanna give more examples cos it'd be the same shit man. come on guys. don't tell me you ain't done this shit before man. ah whatever. it's just my own opinion about this. of course, there are a zillion of you out there who are dying to say that there is really something called love. i'll just stay firm to my belief and shall continue seeking people who knows what i'm talking about man. thanks dave for letting me feel less of a horny bugger in this world.
-forgot my name at 12:46 AM
-forgot my name at 12:09 AM
dissolve and decay.
yes i just got back home. man and my head hurts. i wonder if it's because i slept too late last night or because i keep waking up from my sleep to find myself being all so alone in that freaking hellhole. i mean it's just totally different to be sharing a room with someone you barely know. i won't say that my room mate's destestable but he's just pretty much average or slightly below average on my list cos i really can't communicate well with him. no it ain't cos i can't speak fluent chinese but it's simply knowing that there is basically nothing much in common to talk about with him. and the only thing that he keeps bothering me about is all the lessons, all the topics, all the academic matters which are totally driving me nuts. i mean for god's sake i'm also in my first year and i have no more freaking clue on what to do as much as he does so would he just kindly buzz off? i'm trying to cope with my fucking bored hostel life without a comp around but he just won't leave me alone man. even today when i told him i'm gonna go back malaysia and probably won't be back till saturday for the lecture and he keeps asking me when i'm gonna be back. i mean yeah you're pretty lonely all alone in the hostel so fucking find something to do la. surf some porn and wank yourself silly cos i won't be around god damn it. just stop bothering me ya. i got a life of my own to lead and he can't be part of it right now. what a fucked first four days in school.
never mind. let's talk about the happy things in uni then. it ain't all that bad actually. well actually there's been a whole lotta surprises here and there cos i've met a lotta people whom i never expected to see at ntu also so it's pretty cool to know that at least i still have some friends around. went for a couple of lectures over the past few days and it all ain't that bad. at least they haven't really taught anything new at all yet. but what's scary is they're rushing through every single thing that we've learnt in jc man. every math topic we covered in jc is represented in just one powerpoint slide and it takes less than five minutes of the lecture for him to go through it. that is scary. math. fucked. well, for all the horny guys out there. you might wanna ask me if there's any babes around. i honestly don't know how to answer you all man. i mean most of the chicks down there looks pretty much the same to me. ain't really seen any that stands out of the crowd not only cos of her beauty but her ability to dress out of the mainstream. everyone dresses pretty much the same down there and it gets really bored and the hairstyle every one of them has is pretty much the same so i'm just like whatever. i'd rather spend my time watching the scenic view around the school or just retracing my steps from one place to the other. of course i hafta cater to the girls and gays who are probably reading this too. there ain't no particular cute guys i see around in ntu man. everyone looks equally despo to me. and it's basically just the same shit as with the girls la. i don't know man. i'm just trying hard not to fall under the mainstream category. somebody save me from this hellhole man.
ah the only thing that i could actually look forward to at this point of time is probably having more time to meet up with my friends cos i'll be staying in singapore once again so i could pretty much stay out till the morning if i want to. oh and of course there's gonna be some upcoming inter-block games within each hall so it's pretty cool. i signed up for hockey of course and i'll see how it goes. hope it's gonna be cool. that's all for now. catch ya people another time.
-forgot my name at 7:36 PM
can't repeat.
so long people. you all know where to find me.
-forgot my name at 2:19 AM
so come on show me how.
i took a nap.
-forgot my name at 6:16 PM
can we die.
i'm too shit up to blog bout today.
no. nothing's happened.
contemplating whether to get a notebook.
-forgot my name at 2:21 AM
give me all your hopeless hearts to make me ill.
man. this is just gonna be some ramblings about love. so pardon me if you find everything kinda mixed up here and there as you go through this. my thought's pretty messed up right now and i ain't got no wish to set everything in order. just let me be.
i'm having this very interesting about relationship with jing right now. haha. it's so interesting that it actually inspired me to blog about this shitty topic of love now. ain't it cool? yeah i've done this before but this is gonna be different. it's just gonna be my point of view on a whole lotta stuff. i was talking about the type of girls i would gonna be with in my next relationship. well, basically for now i'm proud to say that there ain't no specific type on my list. i'm just like yeah whatever. i'll just go for whatever feels right. or seems to be. what's right? i don't know. i'll know when i know. it's more of like a trial and error stage for me at this point of time as i was telling her. i ain't gonna be committing myself into my next relationship i suppose. ain't got the time to do so. i've got more important stuff in my life other than love. i wouldn't wanna define what type i like or what type i don't like cos i'm gonna have an open mind about everything. after all, how would you know it ain't your type if you haven't tried it before. just like how would you know you like girls if you ain't tried guys. nah. haven't tried guys as of yet but maybe there'd be one fine day which i'll do so. man. that's gross. haha
and i was thinking. man. why must there be so much of those promises here and there in a simple relationship. why couldn't people just keep it simple and just enjoy the company of the other half without bothering so much about the future and all. i mean why couldn't it be as simple as those dumb hollywood love flicks where you don't see them promising so much about the future but focusing more of now you get what i mean? i remember reading this somewhere before that a guy should never ever tell a girl the words 'i love you' and looking right into her eyes. you only tell that to her when you are gonna propose to her. that's some american webbie i read from i think. man. that's what i'm looking for. someone who ain't gonna bug me about promises of the future and promises of this shit and that. promises brings about far too much stress in a responsible young adult like me man. that's why i hate to promise people stuff and fail to do so. i only promise them when i know i really wanna do it and it's within my ability to do so. after all, most of the time when guys do all those sweet talks to the girl he fancies it's just part of paving the road for the next big thing isn't it? yeah the next big thing being having a crazy night of kinky sex and all. why do guys do this kinda fucked up things? what do you expect man. you can't expect them to say stuff like: hey how bout you and i do it like they do on the discovery channel right here right now? you expect a girl to be absolutely turned on by that kinda shit? maybe for a split second the girl would think: woah that's kinky. let's get it on. but morality and social consciousness would hit the girl right in her face and make her do something like give the guy a tight slap across the cheek and say: you're a jerk. this sucks man. why can't people just do what they wanna do? please let me fuck my life up one more time. just to know that i'm still alive. after all, we all only live once. have you?
If you ever get a second chance, in life for something, go all the way. - Lance Armstrong
-forgot my name at 2:37 AM
for the first time in a fricking long time, i'm gonna let myself fall prey to the commercial gimmicks that's all around us. i'm gonna go get myself a pair of nikefree trainer so i could reincarnate now. haha. sounds corny and crappy and all but i think i'm beginning to love the commercials and of course maybe even the shoe. whoever cares. i need to get myself a new trainer anyway. oh and i'm gonna get myself a livestrong wristband not because i really do wanna support the lance armstrong cancer foundation but i'm more of like inspired by the man himself. i just so love him. visit the nikefree website if you wanna know why. maybe this ain't the first time i've fallen prey to these advertising ploys they've been using. i've always been a sucker for heineken beer. i'm so fucked.
-forgot my name at 1:57 AM
it's not a fashion statement, it's a deathwish.
a moody day.
-forgot my name at 6:50 PM
the urge to ride is the best instinct.
yeah that's the slogan harley davidson has recently adopted or maybe adopted all the while i have no fricking clue. i just think it's kinda cool. just wanna add my comment on a few great commercials i've seen on tv very recently. first up is the heineken commercial no not the ear popping one but the one whereby they sent a machine into outer space to detect extra-terrestrial life or something. yeah that's the one. just thought it's pretty innovative of them to come up with such an idea for a simple beer commercial. ah the next one which really touched me was the latest nike commercial. this time they ain't gotten any of those hot sporting stars for the commercial but just an average dorky looking guy who's running on a desert road which doesn't seem to end. he's running and suddenly comes to a stop saying he can't continue running no more. and the 'other' him tells him that he can still go on running and they go on a debate about whether or not to continue runnin. then the conclusion was that the 'other' him is gonna leave the old self behind and continue running. woah. then the slogan of 'reincarnate now' appears. i was like woah. that was inspirational. haha. i'm such a dork.
-forgot my name at 9:46 PM
yeah. a couple of things i forgot to blog about yesterday and i've forgotten almost all by now. here's a notice for you people who might be reading this. arthur's grandpa passed away and he's kinda busy with the funeral and i didn't know till he replied me back yesterday. my heart goes out to him man. i know what it feels like. if you people know him real well then drop him a message to show your concern or something. that's about all for now.
-forgot my name at 9:06 PM
man. what can i say bout today. i've had an awfully fabulous day today although there was a minor glitch in the morning that totally caught me unaware. i'll talk bout that later. everything's gonna be in chronological order man and it'll probably be kinda long so bear with me.
yeah so i woke up at six and made my way down to lavender early in the morning to submit my application for the student's pass. they're pretty efficient over there man. immediately after i got my queue number it was my turn to submit my application cos there simply ain't nobody applyin for student's pass so frickin early in the morning. i was told to collect my passport and all bout two to three hours later and i was totally amazed that they're soooo damn efficient these days man. gone were the days when they would ask you to go back to collect everything the next day or at least in the late afternoon. so yeah that's pretty cool.
after submitting that shit it was barely 9am so i made my way down to ntu to collect my hostel room key from the hall office. oh on my way there there was this punk ass biatch who got on the train at i don't know where and she looked kinda cute and pretty and all. haha. let's just leave it as that. i always think girls look pretty good dressed up punk and all. it's some sorta fetish for hipsters and mini skirts you see. wait what has mini skirts gotta do with punk you ask? ah whatever. haha. it's just my fetish. had to ask my way around to find the hall office cos the door is like sooooo damn tiny at one corner can. i thought it was a cabinet door for those fire hosereel or something rather than a door to a hall office. that was totally crappy. got my keys, opened up my room door and the first few words that came to my mind: what the fuck is this? knn. this is one of the worst rooms i've ever stayed in and i'll include those kampong rooms into it too. it's even worse than those kampong huts. i'd rather pitch a tent and sleep on the grass if i could man. ok. maybe i oughta stop acting like some rich urban kid who's never had a hard life. at least the room's got two beds, two cupboards, two tables, two lamps, two fans, two shitass living in it. all the room need is some tidying up and all la. it's just too dirty to my liking for now. i'll get it all sorted out again when i move in.
yeah and what a coincidence my roommate actually moved in today too. he arrived not long after i went into the room and we sorta introduced each other or rather i introduced myself cos i don't remember asking for his name and all. all i know is that he's from china and he'd be doing common engineering first year. seems a decent chap so that probably means my ass is kinda secure for the next few months i hope. we sorta decided on which territory we'd be occupying and all and we arranged the furnitures around so that we'd have a tad of privacy here and there. oh yeah then there's this pretty funny thing that happened while i was talking to his dad. his parents were in singapore too to help him settle his accomodations and all. so i was just chatting with him about this and that in pure chinese for about 10 minutes or so when he suddenly asked: 你是华人还是马来人？i was like o_o i replied i was chinese of course after bout a few seconds later. man. do i absolutely not look chinky to them or what. after conversing in pure chinese for so long he could ask me that question. maybe he's joking. ah crap. let's move on.
so after that i proceeded to the bus stop to wait for my bus back to the mrt without a hint as to where i'd be going next cos i was still waiting for my date of the day to wake up. then she msged to let me know she's down with fever so there goes my plans and all. ah had to come to terms with the fact so the next thing i did was to scroll through my phone book and see who might be available for the day. note that it was still 10 plus in the morning so i thought it shouldn't be that hard to get someone out. yeah well apparently i was wrong. lemme recount. i must've msged like around 10 other persons. out of which most of them are in camp or not available. the only one i know of who's slacking his ass off at home is david. and he told me today's wanking day and he ain't gonna come out. man. all i could do was laugh sia. he's like so totally cute la. haha. but of course after laughing out loud and all i realized i still haven't found myself a date for the day. so i was having this thought in my mind: if there ain't nobody to make my day, why not i make my own day. so that was it. my motto for today. keep myself occupied and do something that really makes myself feel good. i went back to aj to collect my cert cos i was damn bloody free and then headed to town for lunch all by myself. i've decided to pamper myself so i walked right into crystal jade and spent a 19 bucks all by myself including tipping them 60 fricking cents for whatever little service they offered to me. whatever. i'm in a good mood today. haha. yes and while i was having lunch aihua actually replied to my msg and it just so happens that she'd be able to meet me but only at 6pm. kinda crappy cos it was only 3 when i finished my lunch but i decided to wait up for her all the same cos it's been sooooo long since i saw her and talked a whole lotta cock with her. so i did manage to get myself a date after all. (",)
spent the next two and a half hours loitering in kinokuniya flipping through all the books i had never had the chance to flip them through cos when someone's accompanying you to the bookstore you just feel bad making the person wait while you happily flip through all the books. so it actually feels pretty good to be there by myself and reading stuff here and there. yeah all's pretty cool. david the wanker then decided he's had enough of wanking and needed an extra hand job so he called me up and wanted to meet up with me after all. he dropped by at like 530 or something then we just hanged out for a while before me going off to meet aihua for dinner. well of course after spending three freaking hours there i bought three freaking books. knn. i'm like 84 bucks poorer after today. amazingly only one book's fantasy and the other two's general fiction which i find wickedly funny. now i've got 7 unread books in my shelf. oh man.
man. no words could adequately describe the amazing time i had with aihua over dinner and we found time to watch fantastic four without me being too late for home. so that was totally awesome. woah it was just like the good old days back in aj where we gossiped bout sooooo many different stuff and all. somehow i could converse really well with her for a girl that is. she's just like soooooo brotherly and all that makes you feel all comfortable and not forgetting all the wicked jokes here and there throughout the conversation. just basically lots of laughter and gossips and even more cock-and-bull story of the past but very little food cos i was too darn full from the meal at crystal jade and neither was she hungry. well. fantastic four was as good as i expected it to be. and needless to say. torch and invisible woman are hot. he's kinda cute actually. ah. damn i'm turning gay. fuck. well, then the most amazing thing happened while we were on the train on our way back. we actually met two of our classmates on the train. our class couple the anderson sec couple in my class. yeah those two. haha. it's like the first time i see them outside of ang mo kio area man. so that's like damn amazing. haha. i'm being evil here. okok. but all in all, i had a totally wonderful time today. i'm all smiles! =D
-forgot my name at 12:16 AM
lifestyle of the bitch and the shameless.
man. i was totally slacking my balls off today. literally slacking it off. fucked up. couldn't even get a decent sleep for my monday. at about 7.45am my parents shop alarm was triggered by my cat which was in the shop then the alarm's connected to my house phone so there was a morning call that woke everyone up. i was like what the fuck. i went to sleep at like 3.40am la. then i went back to sleep but was woken up by another call at 10.36am. apparently my parents were out then there was this uncle who wanted me to pass something to my parents so i had to get my ass outta my bed and wait for him. grrr. tried to get back to sleep so i could wake up at like 1pm or something but it started thundering and all at 11.03am. i figured i wasn't fated to be with my bed any longer so i dragged my balls outta my bed and started my usual routine in front of my comp.
today's kinda a productive day for morrowind. covered a large area of the map without actually completing much of the quests. then went right on to read some walkthroughs for the game and learnt a whole lot of new stuff about it. the way it works and all. ah ok. that sounds pretty no life and all but whatever. ok. i helped my mum make some wantons for lunch today. erm. and and and and i watched tv and all la. fuck sia. today's wasted. gotta get my student's pass done up tomorrow, collect my hostel room key, pay my handphone bills, hopefully watch fantastic four. man. i'm gonna die.
-forgot my name at 12:17 AM
la la la la la.
haha. fuck. i'm like all high cos of that groovy track. haha. i'm just like chirpy and all for now at least. i hope it lasts real long. i was talking bout me rocking to the beat and all in my previous post. man. i really think it'd be funny if anyone ever caught me alone sitting in front of my comp. not that i'd be watching porn or something. but it's like if i'm listening to tracks that i like you could basically see me doing all kinds of funny hand actions and trying to sing to the song at the same time. you know like those nigga rappers who would do the dj spinning shit thing while they're rapping. yeah. haha. this is getting embarassing dude.
come to think of it, when my brother and me were still some ignorant dumbasses, we would always sing out loud in the shower or something. haha. i could still remember my parents asking say if we wanna be singers when we grew up. that's like way crappy man. haha. yeah of course back in those days rock music was pretty much non-existent in my world so it was full of those boybands and all. boybands are cool man. i used to love them so so much. i thought they were like the epitome of cool and most of the people were like going gu-gu-ga-ga over them. i'm glad backstreet boy's still together and still singing. yeah their latest hit seems pretty nice but i ain't really into that sorta tracks these days so i'm sorry.
talking about camps. fuck man. i ain't signed up for any. haha. partly because i couldn't bear to part with 40 fricking bucks for an orientation camp also i couldn't bear to part with the comfort of my own home. all the porn i mean my comp waiting for me. man. i'm just some lonely piece of crap. haha. this is getting sooooooo exciting. somebody shoot me.
-forgot my name at 1:14 AM
When you grow up
Livin' like a good boy oughta
And your mama
Takes a shine to her best son
Something different
All the girls they seem to like you
Cause you're handsome
Like to talk and a whole lot of fun
But now your girl's gone a missin'
And your house has got an empty bed
The folks'll wonder 'bout the wedding
They won't listen to a word you said
[Chorus]
Gonna take your mama out all night
Yeah we'll show her what it's all about
We'll get her jacked up on some cheap champagne
We'll let the good times all roll out
And if the music ain't good, well it's just too bad
We're gonna sing along no matter what
Because the dancers don't mind at the New Orleans
If you tip 'em and they make a cut
Do it
Take your mama out all night
So she'll have no doubt
That we're doing oh the best we can
We're gonna do it
Take your mama out all night
You can stay up late 'cause baby you're a full grown man
It's a struggle
Livin' like a good boy oughta
In the summer Watchin' all the girls pass by
When your mama
Heard the way that you'd been talking
I tried to tell you
That all she'd wanna do is cry
Now we end up takin' the long way home
Lookin' overdressed wearin' buckets of stale cologne
It's so hard to see streets on a country road
When your glasses in the garbage
And your Continental's just been towed
[Repeat Chorus x2]
woah baby. this is one helluva song. ain't really rock but it's got a real cheesy or corny tune to it that makes me wanna sing along with them everytime i hear it. (Take your mama out all night!) oops. i'm sorry. kinda got high at the wrong time of the day. man. i'm really like rocking to the groove baby. can you believe this. haha. if someone ever puts a spycam in my house i think they're so gonna get freaked out.
haha. i shall try to type out this blog as i continue rocking. oh i cleaned my dad's car today since like dunno how fucking long ago. haha. i was gonna make this a lazy sunday but my mum made me do this and that over here and over there that i didn't have much of a time to slack from noon till afternoon. then i continued playing my fricking morrowind till bout 7 plus then headed to watch the show on channel 8. man. i really don't know when i'm gonna complete morrowind. i've only like covered bout 8% of the entire map in the fricking game. that's so fricking crap man. haha. i'm a busy man you know. gotta balance my time chilling and rocking to the beat and watch tv and mop the floor occasionally and stuff. damn. fuck man. come to think of it, school's gonna start next week. i'm still totally in my holiday for 7 months mood. haha. somebody come kick my fat ass man. (take your mama out all night!)
-forgot my name at 12:44 AM
after the boys of summer have gone.
ah. got inspired by something i read at my fellow blogger's blog as well as something that i saw on tv a couple of days ago. she was talking about all this sorta caucasian thing and it just happened that i watched the manhunt or is it some sorta male model show on channel 5 the other day. ah. the first thing that came to my mind when i saw those absolutely fuckable hunks was: how fucking unfair can this world get man. then i went on trying to convince myself that they were maybe some intellectually challenged crap or some jerk ass who had such a totally shittified personality. ok. i'm plain jealous. so? when they give something to you they take something away too isn't it? i hope so. if it ain't so why do i not have everything? haha.
ok back to the topic. i was like oh fuck. what kinda fucking hot hunks do they have over there man. there's this particular thing i like about caucasian males actually. i don't know how to say it man. it's like somehow even though the guy may not be absolutely gorgeous looking but there's this particular aura of charismatic charm around him that makes him look totally awesome. he could be an ah pek with a balding head and just wearing a singlet with a pair of khakis shorts but he still looks absolutely confident of himself and all. i suppose that's what makes most caucasians look so freaking great all the time. it's all about the self-confidence in a way i believe. the way they portray themselves in front of others not to the extent of being egoistic but knowing that they are good in their own way so no matter what they wear, they're still cool all the same. they make the clothes they wear look good whereas asians tend to use the clothes they wear to make themselves look good. everyone over here's just too preoccupied with their superficial self that they have no time to get in touch with they are deep down.
oh. talking about clothing. was doing a lil bit of window shopping with arthur the other day after watching war of the worlds. he was like commenting about singaporeans not being bold enough in the way they dress. in a way that is so true. most of us including me would fall under the mainstream category in terms of dressing up. that's why i like to observe what people these days are wearing and try to come up with my own kinda style in a way. obviously i haven't really succeeded cos i ain't bold enough to try out most of the clothes that i wanna try out. i do so like the way the malays dress themselves up. the guys especially. most of you might say that they're being so 'mat' and all by wearing checkered shirt with a pair of tight jeans or some really weird kinda clothing that makes you wonder if they're doing cosplay or something. i think that's cool. honestly i do. they're really cool to be able to dress themselves up in that way i feel. and obviously they don't give a fuck about what people think of the way they dress cos they know that they're looking good. that's what i love about malays man. they do have a good sense of fashion and they don't need all the branded goods to make them look good. they make what they wear look good. that's just way awesome.
-forgot my name at 1:11 AM
ah. another of those i-slacked-my-ass-off-in-front-of-the-tv days. although there ain't much nice shows on saturday but it's cool just to chill on a saturday isn't it? haha. come to think of it, i haven't been out on weekends for a long time already and i'm beginning to like this kinda slacking life. damn. i am never gonna be able to get myself to study. i've slacked like seven months or more already. haha.
gotta go get my student's pass done up either on monday or tuesday. hope it'll be ready within a day or else i'll hafta find some place to rest my ass for the night in singapore. come to think of it, i'm kinda running outta ideas to blog bout recently. seems like one of those periods whereby i'm just so not inspired by anything cos everything's been pretty much normal these couple of days. or maybe i ain't been doing much thinking. well, not exactly i suppose. it's just that i've thought about most of the stuff that would be intriguing and there simply is no point to blog about all those kinda stuff again. argh. gotta find inspirattiooonnnsss...
haha. oh. why do some people seem to think that i'm the sort who goes clubbing kinda often? i don't know. my few malaysian buddies were like having that kinda thought while we went out the other time. apparently i'm more geeky than they thought me to be. haha. clubbing is nice in a way. yeah kinda makes me feel that i'm still a teenage dirtbag after all when i do so. but i've gotta face the fact and realize that i have a future to carve out and i suppose i oughta be utilizing my time and my parents hard-earned money (i don't earn my wage) better. ah what am i talking bout. i make no sense.
-forgot my name at 12:51 AM
it's four o'clock in the fucking morning.
nah. it ain't four. it's just the song i'm listening to. kinda been bumming around at home the whole day doing practically nothing. folded some clothes and stuff when i was really sick of playing pc game. just kinda been continuing with my morrowind the whole day. after rushing through the game for the past week, i'm finally back to where i was. or at least somewhere near. the whole freaking story's so darn long i wonder if i'll be able to complete this whole game before 2045 or something. there are like hundreds of missions available througout the game but there's only this 30 missions that you hafta complete in order to get through the game. but i'm a perfectionist in a way so i'mma try to do whatever missions i could find. i'm such a dork.
kinda been missing out on the guess show for the past two weeks cos my buddy's been asking me out for supper for the past few fridays. finally i can sit down on my couch and laugh my friday night away. totally cool. man. that girl on the show could run 1500 in like 4 min 35 sec. that's like totally awesome man. i'll never beat that. oh yeah i'm pretty much decided to be the anti-social bastard who doesn't go for any orientation shit. ain't signed up for any other than some faculty talk which would be held next friday. i might just be too lazy to wake up in the end. muahaha. how am i gonna get through my four years in ntu.
-forgot my name at 2:37 AM
we only live once. have you?
-forgot my name at 9:18 PM
he's everything you want.
ah i've finally got time to sit down and blog at my comp. kinda been at the shop for the whole day cos my dad had to go for this wedding dinner so i was with my mum keeping her company and stuff. just basically camped my ass over there and watched loads of tv.
was suddenly inspired to go shopping while watching the shopping king thing on channel 8. man. that show is evil. although i don't wear a spec and all, after seeing those funky cool stuff they've featured, i feel like getting one for myself too. but after thinking rationally, it's all dumb. so i was able to curb my temptation this time around but the food they've introduced seems yummy enough to me. ah i'd prefer chinese cuisine though. so let's just forget it.
then there's this artsy show on channel u just now. man it's pretty much inspiring in a way to see all the teenagers like us out there who's fighting so hard for their dreams. to be able to break free from the social norm of going into university and get a 9 to 5 job and really do something that they like. it's pretty cool. there's been enough debates about going into the art business or getting a 'real' job so i'll drop it. but the machi guy they've interviewed said something that really set me thinking: "when you're all low, everyone wants to step on you. but when you're all high up, everyone goes like wow, you're so talented and everyone wants to make friend with you. it's sad, but true." how else could you better describe this society we live in today? think about it. (",)
-forgot my name at 11:11 PM
man. i just finished the whole of season 1. got 25 episodes in all. woah. i'm like totally hooked onto it. when's season 2 coming out man. no mysteries are solved at all man. every episodes just bring on more and more questions. damn. the producer is evil. never mind i'll try to divert my attention for now. just got myself season 1 of arrested development. funny shit. you people should really try it. just some no-brainer thing that i'm totally in love with.
oh and i was cruising through people's blog today. saw a very interesting and funny post. the blogger basically puts up a list of all her ex boyfriends. man. i think that's totally awesome. it's just like putting up a list of all the real stupid things that you've done over these 19 years of life and really have a good laugh about it. damn that's cool.
well, here's another thing that i kinda noticed in the show lost. don't you all realize that everyone on the island basically has a very volatile relationship with one another? as in like one moment you two could be friends and the next moment you could be doubting the other person or wishing to stick a knife into the bugger's throat. i suppose that's how fragile relationships between we humans are. there can never be complete trust in someone. we just believe.
-forgot my name at 2:13 AM
save my own skin.
ah. had a pretty engaging conversation with a salesperson at the shop just now. we talked about a lotta interesting stuff actually. my mum and dad and the person were like talking about secret societies and all. man. the stuff they say is just like those hongkong movies you see. were talking about some funeral thing then brought in the topic of those gang members coming in to attend the ceremony in truckloads of people. they really came by lorry and all. my mum said she saw them once when she went to one of our relative's funeral. i wasn't there. man. that must be exciting. then it was like when it's their turn to offer incense and all, everyone in the gang would stand up and bow and stuff like that. woah. must be a grand affair. haha. yeah these sorta stuff still exist over here. and they're pretty influential. malaysia. truly asia. what more could you expect?
-forgot my name at 5:35 PM
ah. i was gonna blog bout yesterday actually. but i ended up watching lost in the middle of the night and i was totally hooked onto it. watched three episodes straight and went to sleep at three plus. damn. this is bad. but the show's nice though. it's somewhat touching and inspirational at certain times. i don't know man. it's kinda sad to see that boon is dead. somehow everyone on the plane is inter-connected with each other in a way or two. or at least it's like everyone's crossed each other's path before whether knowingly or unknowingly. pay attention to the small details in the show and you'd be amazed.
yes. as i was saying. i was out to collect my medical report. nothing interesting happened on my way there. just pretty normal. well, this time around i got my directions pretty well. i've finally figured out how to read the darn map and all. so i didn't waste too much time over there at ntu. just got the report and got a letter from the school and i was buzzing off. ah. then on the bus trip back to the mrt, noticed something pretty much interesting. it was a rainy afternoon over at boon lay and i was sittin on the front seat of the double decker bus. saw this father crossing the road with his toddler then there was this malay motorcyclist who stopped at the traffic light. as the toddler was walking/hopping past the malay guy, the malay guy sticked out his tongue and i almost wanted to laugh man. it was like so comical yet heartwarming nonetheless. it really is man. somehow the whole scene just seemed like a scene from a movie to me. just imagine, you on the bus and witnessing all of what i saw. ah ok this is getting crappy.
oh then as i was watching lost last night, a stupid cockroach had to infiltrate my room. man. it was flying some more. that totally freaked me out man. it was such a turn-off. luckily it sneaked outta my room after figuring out there ain't food of any kind inside here. been kinda undecided about joining my hall camp. it's like from the 19th to the 23rd. that's like so awfully sucky man. i was plannin to go shopping on the 23rd. and camps of this kind are such a turn off. might be i'll just fuck it once again and just carry on with this life of mine.
destiny or match.com? hmm. love, in my freaked out opinion, is a game of chance. so what if it's fated that you do get to meet such a splendid person but you ain't gonna take the initiative or whatsoever. i don't really like the word destiny cos i believe i shape my destiny. i ain't gonna blame things on destiny cos things didn't work out the way it should. that's such a lame excuse. so to sum things up, love: wait and see. haha.
-forgot my name at 11:20 AM
saw this rather interesting post made by my friend on friendster. just thought i'd share it with you guys.
Message: reasons why women choose to be single...
1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW,WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?
"Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."
-forgot my name at 9:05 PM
man. today's just gonna be such a good day. why? cos i'm loving what i see in the mirror today man. haha. i'm such a narcissistic piece of shit.
-forgot my name at 1:38 PM
man. this is dumb. i was doing a lazy stretch and i actually pulled a muscle on my right shoulder. now i'm feeling this tight sensation at certain positions. dumb. a rainy lazy day for me. i'm even lazy to go and collect my medical report. wondering if i could get others to go and get the report for me. ain't possible i suppose. grrr. gotta get my ass down to boon lay then come home. gonna be falling sick again i think. somehow i'm coughing for no particular reason. i'm such a bummer. oh but my pull ups improved again i think. yup. that's good in a way. ah gonna have my lunch then get cracking.
-forgot my name at 1:14 PM
man. the days to start of school are just getting closer and closer. getting a lil bit scary already. i've forgotten all the shit that i've studied back then. i'm just so busted as usual. haha. gonna be going down to ntu again to collect my medical report. pretty efficient huh. considering that i did my checkup on thursday. but the time for collecting the report is like dumb. they asked me to collect it at 4pm. which is like in the middle of nowhere. that's like how fucked up. i'll probably just get my ass down to get the report then head right back home. nothing in particular i wanna do. gotta get my stuff sorted out for my student's pass application. man. gonna hafta start packing up for hostel too. who the fuck is my roommate. argh.
-forgot my name at 12:41 AM
why do you fill my sorrow.
man. i just watched ep17 of lost. damn i almost almost cried while watching the show man. it was pretty pretty touching i must say. the relationship between the korean couple is kinda how should i put it...erm...touching. haha. well, at least i've got a better clue about the show for now. the most important idea of the whole thing is probably: everyone gets a new life on this island. oh yeah and pay attention to what locke says all the time when you watch the show. he's the man. (",)
-forgot my name at 2:08 AM
tonight we ride to fight.
man. i just love this song. especially the bridge part of the song. it's totally intoxicating. for those of you who are online on msn and who are on my list, did you notice how long this song's been playing? i just keep playing it over and over again man. when i first listened to this song i thought it was pretty garage rock and all cos it sounded pretty weird with a female vocal. but after listening through the song, it pretty much rock my world. for this moment at least.
thanks for making my day. you know who you are. the one who brought a smile upon my face. thanks a lot. =) i really appreciated that. no i'm not acting weird. haha.
-forgot my name at 11:24 PM
ah i remember. haha. i was watching the last 22 laps for the british grand prix just now. pretty cool. ah montoya's won his first grand prix this year and i've just sorta updated myself on the constructors' championship. renault's broke the 100 barrier already and mclaren-mercedes is trailing behind followed by ferrari. he deserved to win today. alonso just couldn't close the gap and montoya widened his lead till he led by about 14 sec. that's awesome man. schumacher's still eatin dirt at the 6th place followed by his fellow ferrarian barichello.
shall blog again later. i'm outta stuff to blog bout again. grrr. my stomach's feeling weird.
-forgot my name at 10:53 PM
man. i forgot what i was gonna blog about. it was still on my mind before i went for dinner. damn.
-forgot my name at 10:24 PM
i'm really kinda in a sorta shock right now. cos i'm a bit overwhelmed by what i'm hearing. two of my mum's friend passed away just this week alone. one of them was a nice lady whom i seldom talk to but she's pretty nice and all. passed away due to cancer. my mum just went to her funeral this morning to send her off. i thought it was pretty sad already that people around my mum's age could just pass away so suddenly and all. we just came home from sunday grocery shopping and we just heard that another of my parent's friend passed away. someone whom has watched me grow up in a way. he's kinda a nice guy. a plump middle-age guy who always try to joke with me and would ask me about what i'm studying and all. i'm kinda sad by this cos maybe i've known him for a longer time than the lady. heard he was involved in an accident this morning. just all of a sudden man. just a couple of months back my mum's friend passed away in the bathroom just all of a sudden. that was real sudden cos we even chatted with her a couple of days prior to her death and it was real sudden. man. life is just so fragile. i'd hate to think this way but i suppose someday the day will come when it's my parent's turn. i don't know how i'm gonna be taking all this. so god bless us all.
-forgot my name at 5:09 PM
Have you ever seen stars like these,
with a night like this.
Wishin it could last for weeks.
And I'm convinced that soon you'll see,
these summer leaves turn to a winter breeze.
I will show you the country and all its secrets.
Like why these lights,
burn out so quick.
I will show you the country and all its secrets.
Like why these lights,
burn out so quick.
Have you ever seen roads like these,
with a sky so bright from the western light.
And I've foreseen a new family,
forged from blood and bone,
just off the coast.
So put a record on they say it soothes the soul,
and takes us back in time,
when we walked in fields of gold.
With the radio playing these random hits,
we'll move onto a western view.
I will show you the country and all its secrets.
Like why these lights,
burn out so quick.
I will show you the country and all its secrets.
Like why these lights,
burn out so quick.
I will show you the country and all its secrets.
Like why these lights,
burn out so quick.
I will show you the country.
Tonight we ride to fight.
We'll drop our heads real slow to the ground (Tonight we ride to fight),
that's frozen cold and breathe it in (Tonight we ride to fight),
and move our limbs to make those wings (Tonight we ride to fight),
begin again and wait and see (Tonight we ride to fight),
what tomorrow brings (Tonight we ride to fight),
and we will feast and fight and tell tales of hangmen heroes lovers and pawns.
another song that rocks my world at this point of time.
-forgot my name at 12:55 PM
I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break
Holdin' you
Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
Your trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...
Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh...
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
Your trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new
Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
Your trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...
oh my god. this song fucking rocks my house at this moment. i've been looping it a zillion times already since the morning. dave grohl is way cool man.
-forgot my name at 12:22 PM
man. i was totally knocked out yesterday night i had no idea why. went to sleep at around 4 and i just slept all the way till 1pm. haven't slept till so late for a very long long long time. i'm just very tired and i still am right now. so out of energy man. ain't done nothing much useful today. just helped out a lil here and there but there was this uncle whose shop was nearby and he came over to talk to me while my parents were out. we kinda talked about a lotta stuff. pretty cool. from the bombings in london to ancient china history. i learnt a lot of stuff from him i realized. got to know more about all those china history. he's pretty educated although he ain't really gotten himself a degree or whatsoever. said that he was educated back in china so he knew things pretty well and he's been through a lot of stuff so it's pretty insightful to talk to someone like him. there's always something to be learnt from everyone around. =)
i deleted my saved games for morrowind and i'm starting from scratch again. why? i'm so pissed off cos i did something that didn't allow me to do so many other quests that i wanted to do and my saved games were overwritten so i decided to start all over again. i ain't gonna settle for something less than perfect. =)
-forgot my name at 1:33 AM
sail with me into the setting sun.
hmm. ok. i was gonna talk about this talk-show programme on channel u at 8.30. it's an interesting programme in my opinions cos you won't see all those professionals giving a whole lotta model answers to a lot of problems posed on the show. what you would see is just what the guests feel about the issues and it's more closer to real life in a way. so it's all pretty cool.
today's topic was kinda about three generations living together under one roof. a pretty interesting topic to talk about cos this whole concept is pretty rare these days. 15 minutes into the show and i already felt like giving all the teenagers there two tight slaps across the face and shoving my hockey stick up their asses. it's kinda sad actually to know that people around my age are all beginning to think this way. maybe i'm still being all too traditional or conservative or whatever freak you might wanna see me as. basically the unanimous view amongst the teen speakers was like an absolute no-no towards the concept of three generations living together under one roof. it ain't their view that pissed me off actually. it's the reasons they give to support their stand that totally makes me wanna chainsaw them into bits and pieces. they can name all sorts of problems old people could bring about with them like constant naggings, generation gap, no common topic to talk about, always falling sick, fighting with them over what shows to watch on tv, likes to talk about their younger days and speak from experiences and all kinds of dumbest reasons you could ever think of.
it's like the most obvious message that they are trying to put across through everything that they've said is basically: i'm an educated young adult and i don't need uneducated old fogeys like you to teach me about what i should do and what i shouldn't do. so this is what the education system has done to people over the years. yes, they can be clever. but they will never be wise. all these self-centered pieces of crap. it's really saddening to know that they're actually feeling this way and all. i find it absolutely revolting to even look at their faces as they speak cos it's shit that's coming out of their mouth. they haven't the slightest idea about what the concept of family is about. all they could think of is how important they are and how people around them should change just to accomodate what they are thinking and all. i'd say fuck them man. one of the bitches over there actually made a concluding statement saying: if my grandfather go learn break-dancing then i wouldn't mind living under the same roof with him. who the fuck does she think she is bitch? does she even have the slightest idea about what respect is all about? instead of wanting others to accomodate her, why don't she take the first step to learning tai-chi or even chinese chess? can't do so huh. muthafucker.
i'm sorry i got so agitated. but i really do feel totally hopeless for them man. maybe it's because of my family background and all. it's more of like a kampong life in a way. whereby the idea of everyone living together under one roof is just natural for all of us. it's just something that i feel i must do. after all that my parents have done for me. i'd have to say i can totally relate to whatever the Qian Hu guy was talking about in the show. i suppose his family background's pretty much like mine in a way. a whole lotta kampong lifestyle so i totally agree with him on almost all issues. man. i really hope not all the girls in singapore feel the same way as those bitches do man. that is one of the most important thing that i look out for man.
-forgot my name at 2:59 AM
i just got home bout half an hour ago after having supper with my three buddies. i'm kinda sad actually. my friend's taking the 10 o'clock plane at changi the next morning. man i'm so gonna miss him. it's all because of him that the bridge between all four of us has once again been established. that is just so awesome to me man. cos i really do wonder how it is we're all gonna be hanging out together someday. now that he's flying off, i'm afraid that the link would slowly be diminished just like last time but i suppose this time i'll try to keep the link going. maybe not as strongly but i'll try. friends are friends. and it's for life.
had supper at this cool malay stall in some ulu malay kampong. it's rather famous around here in jb actually. been hearing it for a long time but never had the chance to go there cos i ain't got no company to go with. it's like there aren't really seats around but like cubicles with straw mats and a table in the middle where everyone just sit around the table and chill. and the cool part is that they've built the things like two storeys so that you could choose to sit at the upper storey and with all the trees around, it almost looked like you're dining in a treehouse. so the whole concept's pretty cool. only ate fries and chicken wings so i can't comment much bout the food. but it's rather ex. it was a good experience though. nothing beats the company of course. =)
oh so what was i gonna blog about. grrr. i'm kinda sleepy again and my stomach's feeling bloated. can't figure out stuff well. did i mention that i've got my hostel thing? i'm gonna be staying in hall 5 and getting my medical report next tuesday. cool. i really really forgot what i was gonna say. i'll continue later on.
-forgot my name at 2:31 AM
dissolve and decay.
haha. a pretty fine day although it's like thundering outside at the moment. finally got the email from ntu which confirmed my application for hostel. fuck man. i got like hall 5. which is like far from my fac. damn. maybe the only consolation is that there's a bus stop just outside of the hall or something. man it's gonna be some damn long walk if i decide to walk for lessons or what. that sucks man. haha. everyone else seems to know their hostel postings today. argh i still ain't got no idea about my roomie. grrr. it's killing me.
oh and i finally saw fairly odd parents on tv once again. man it was funny. a totally hilarious cartoon that i absolutely adore. i don't know why but it's just full of a lot of nonsensical shit that makes me laugh out loud. what a beautiful start to a day. haha.
-forgot my name at 1:02 PM
man. i had such an awesome day today. it somehow seemed like a very long day to me. maybe it is i don't know man. but it sure was great. absofuckinglutely great.
on my way out of house i heard the morning crew on Power98 FM. that's the only english radio station i would listen to these days. perfect 10 is like fuck these days. everyone's damn fake. all of them could kiss my ass goodbye. apparently the topic for discussion this morning was guys carrying those ladies' bag. or as the show would call it, man-purse or something like that. i can't really remember. i honestly don't think there's anything wrong with it man. i've really seen some malay guys who could pull it off damn well carrying that bag with a suitable attire without looking gayish at all. in fact, being metrosexual is pretty cool by my standards. that's why i think most gays have pretty great fashion sense. they dress to kill man. haha. oh yah. the male radio dj was like totally against that idea of course. maybe he just has to take some macho stand cos his other dj is a female. then they were like arguing heatedly about the issue at a certain point of time and the guy dj almost said the f word. that was like damn fucking funny. i was like listening to him making his point then suddenly there was a fff........ then silence. after that he said: i almost said the f word on radio. i just laughed out loud man. that was funny. this sorta thing never fails to make my day man. that was such a booster for a beautiful day.
went right down to ntu for the medical checkup which i mentioned yesterday. woke up by myself two minutes before the alarm on my handphone went off which was kinda amazing cos i thought i would just sleep till noon. it was kinda stupid actually. i woke up only to realize that why did i bother waking up so fricking early when i could go down at noon for the checkup maybe. argh but whatever since i'm awake i'd better get my ass changed. so i made my way down to ntu. a pretty cool journey venturing into ntu. brings back a lot of memories when i was going down the escalator at the boon lay mrt. the space just in front of the station control was the place we hockey people met up at to go for trainings on a few sessions. man i missed those days. those early trainings when everyone would slowly fall in and cursing about every single thing in the world and some would be busy hunting for places to buy kopi to wake themselves up. it was all funny and memorable. ah. those good old days. ok. back to the topic. fricking hell i don't know where i was supposed to get off for the bus in ntu so i just agar agar dropped at some convenient place where a lot of people got off. then i tried finding my way around to get to the student services centre but to no avail. fricking hell i never realized ntu was that complicated and did i mention big? i'm such a sucker at reading maps i realized. the map i read were like completely useless so i just used my gut instinct and walked all over the place. managed to find the office and got to the medical centre after trekking through the jungle for half an hour or so. man. i think the people at the student services centre are like completely fucked up. there's this buzzer thing at the counter which probably is there for like if-no-one-serves-you-please-press-me. and apparently there's this auntie whose desk is very near the counter and she saw me but she didn't even give a fuck. after standin around for about 10 hours (ok i'm exaggerating) she looked at me and said: press the buzzer. fuck you. if you can see me why don't you bother walking two steps up to me and see what i want. how fucking lazy can middle-age office aunties get man. knn. i'm just so awfully disappointed.
medical checkup was pretty hectic. as in in the clinic itself. damn lots of people. no babes. no hunks. a lot of prcs and people of different nationalities. pretty lots of people in there waiting to do checkup but it was pretty efficient i would have to say. so no complaints about that. oh man and i shrunk by two fucking cm in my height. how could that be possible. haha. but i didn't gain any weight i suppose. considering the baggy jeans i was wearing and my wallet and handphone and all. still weigh pretty much the same. so that's pretty good. still looking good no worry. haha. medical checkup with the doc was like fast man. he just ask me a few questions here and there, take my blood pressure, fold my arms in weird positions and knock them with a hammer and then followed by my knees and ankles. i wonder what all those were for. then something i totally didn't expect came. he asked me to take off my pants and my boxers and flash at him. man. i wonder why i didn't feel awkward at all doing that. no i'm not a flasher. then he asked me to cough while he observes the way my balls dangle or something. if i'm not wrong it's some kind of smoker's test or something from what i've heard. ah but whatever. no big deal. i don't smoke and never will. haha. did urine test and they drew blood from my left arm which made my arm completely numb for like half an hour or so. disgusting. haha. after doing all those the nurses actually referred me to orchard to do my x-ray cos the clinic which they were referring everyone else to is getting pretty packed already so i have to go orchard whether i like it or not. i was like what the fuck? boon lay to orchard? argh whatever. haha.
went right down to orchard or to be specific orchard building (the california fitness that building) and went to one of the clinics upstairs to do the x-ray thing. supposed to be a chest x-ray which they probably wanna see if i have tuberculosis or something. by the time i reached it was like lunch time la. then went to get movie tickets for me and arthur to watch war of the world later on in the afternoon. so basically bummed around for an hour then went back to the clinic and it was like totally packed. kinda wasted a lot of time there waiting and waiting for my turn to do the x-ray thing also. but not bad. two hot chicks came in for similar checkups as mine too. one was particularly to my liking but as usual my balls did not expand enough for me to go and talk to her. so i was just like some geeky shit sitting at one corner reading a book whilst waiting. got everything done in bout 46 minutes. which was like 45 minutes of waiting and 1 minute spent on taking the x-ray of my chest. knn. oh man. i swear when i came out of the x-ray room and walked out of the clinic i saw the girl looking at me la. haha but i act cool and just walked on. ah maybe i was thinking too much. fuck it. let's move on.
met arthur for war of the world. i wanted to watch fantastic four but my darling wanted the other so no choice. it's a pretty shitty show by my standard. the only thing that is applaudable in the whole show is probably the way it depicts human nature at times of desperation. you seldom would see this sorta things in movies like these. the way human beings like you and me would behave just to fight for survival including killing or injuring others like nobody's business. that was particularly disturbing. but it's reality. that's the most likely scenario if ever such a thing really happened so i would give credits to the director and scriptwriter for it. you'd see the darkest side of human being and also the good side in a way. but the starting and ending's pretty crappy. so it's basically a shitty show. nowhere as good as independence day. maybe the computer animations are better but independence day still rock my world. the speech by the president. awesome!
oh and while i was waiting in the clinic with nothing better to do, i was like observing people around me. at a particular point of time there was this cute ntu senior who walked into the clinic and as he walked pass the girls who were around you could basically notice that gals would like secretly look at the guy as he walk right past and after that continue talking like no one realized. haha. it's just like so obvious to the other people around la. but maybe the guy himself doesn't realize that crap. the way gals do it is sooooo similar to how guys would do it. maybe a little more discreet. that's all. haha. interesting.
oh and i actually tried doing a bit of window shopping here and there during the lunch time break of the clinic and while waiting for arthur. it didn't really seem as bad as i last remembered. in fact, i thought i was enjoying it for today. pretty nice to just walk around and look at stuff at your own time own target. it was like you have all the time in the world which is rather true for my case. haha.
just when i thought my day was gonna end with a simple dinner with my family my malaysian buddies called me when i msged one of them sayin i was at the malaysian customs. they were like somewhere near that area already and they just came over to pick me up and we all went for dinner together. man. it's awesome to have friends like these man. met two other friends of my friends who were pretty friendly and we basically talked a lot of cork and all. i'm getting better at this kinda socialising i realized. there was no awkwardness at all and it was like all friends although i barely know the other two. it was pretty enjoyable. the food and the drinks and the laughters we had. man. my friend's gonna be flying back to australia on saturday. kinda sad that he's leaving so soon but he'll be back somewhere in november so hopefully i'll meet him again then. that's gonna be sooooo exciting. muahaha. i'll leave it at here cos i think i've gotten damn naggy. =)
-forgot my name at 12:23 AM
Rooster - Deep and Meaningless
I, I don't know why I miss you so much
Yeah I, I don't know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the question why
Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection
Chorus:
If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless
You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had
(Damn that's sad)
There are many things left to remind me
Of a love that I just can't leave behind me
Chorus (Repeat)
man. this song is nice. i'm just such a stereo freak. i love it when i hear nice songs booming on my speakers and all. but i guess i'm kinda a nuisance to my neighbour at times. really sorry bout that. probably i oughta sound proof this whole room and even the whole house. haha.
man. i just flipped through the whole admission package. basically not much shit to be done la. what's needed to be done i already completed them all. so it wasn't as bad as i thought it was gonna be. then i saw these two pamphlets talking bout some sorta malaysian orientation for freshmen. haha. i almost laughed out loud i don't know why. yes i'm a malaysia but i'm sure i know singapore pretty well. it's like so crappy la. if i do go for that kinda orientation i might just die man. all the malaysian scholars and all. argh. somebody shoot me. haha. that's all for my orientation man. ain't got no more invites to any more orientations. haha. that's it. i'm gonna be some fucking loner on the first day of school with a fucked up face probably. haha. that's gonna be all so cool. what could be more exciting than to step into a brand new environment with nobody you know? haha. oh and i hope i don't get lost in ntu tomorrow. nah beh. i'm kinda like some directional idiot at times. haha. and stupid peng ming wrote some cork testimonial for me. that's like damn dumb. haha. what an ass. shall fuck his ass again when i see him on the pitch once more. muahaha.
-forgot my name at 12:58 AM
i can show you the country.
oh man. i'm feeling all damn shagged again today. how come. i really ain't done nothing for the past two days man. i'm barely awake although it's only 2345 now and i woke up today like almost one and it was my mum who woke me up. i could wake up by myself at like 1145 every morning automatically. damn. what's with me.
gotta wake up like muthafucking early tomorrow morning cos i wanna be there for checkup between 9-12 or something like that. it's probably gonna be the earliest i woke up ever since...exams are over. haha. i'm such a bummer. still got lots of details to fill in for the medical shit and some giro form and don't know what forms. everything's basically still intact in the envelope which it came in. i'm just too lazy to flip through everything and read through all of em. those deadlines are killing me. hmm. gotta fill in my medical history and all. guess i'll probably skip the back problem i have. ain't got no confirmation from any doc. but my tendonitis is bad. damn.
yeah got a couple of new songs on my comp. pretty cool. seems like i've been very much out of sync with my songs cos was spending too much time playing morrowind. man. i actually began to see the link in the game and a couple of books i've read. it's more or less about this race called the dunmers (or dark elves) and it's like pretty much similar to what the dark elf trilogy has been talking about. the social structure and the things etc. pretty cool. i just love the game.
oh and i read in the papers something bout the live 8 concert i was talking about. didn't really manage to watch the concert but i heard part of it through radio. seems like it's pretty much a rock concert with a lot of classic rockers like Pink Floyd and The Who and many others who actually came together to create an awareness towards the issue of poverty. it's pretty much targeted at the G8 meeting to let them know that poverty is still an issue waiting to be solved. honestly i do wonder how much help aid is gonna do to the third world countries who are in extreme poverty. aid alone doesn't do much good to the country. there has to be lots of other factors that is needed to help bring the country back up. you probably can read this on bbc. read it somewhere over there. yeah.
oh and i finally managed to get a hair band today. haha. i used to have one but i broke it a couple of weeks back while i was too excited watching tv. haha. bought the hair band from one old lady who was sitting along the road with a lot of stuff to sell. it's only one buck for one so i thought i should just buy it la. she's really old and seeing her doing all these things sorta makes my heart ache for her. ah shan't say more. i'll cry. haha.
-forgot my name at 11:41 PM
man. i've been feeling so lethargic for the whole of today. just keep yawning non -top like how a goldfish would open and shut its mouth to gasp for air. that's like so pathetic. guess it must be that i didn't sleep well last night. had a dream. or was it two dreams. i can't really remember. i think i dreamt then i got woken up by my mum. then i slept and dreamt again. that's why i'm so tired. ain't gotten a peaceful night sleeping.
oh and the medical checkup day is fast approaching. kinda excited cos i ain't done any shit like that before. i wonder what they'd ask me to do. they're gonna be drawing my blood for sure. for the hiv test. argh. haha. it ain't that i'm scared of needles or whatsoever. it's just that needles doesn't turn me on baby. gotta decide what time i'm gonna be going down to ntu so that i won't be like arriving there at lunch time and i have to wait like two fucking hours for them. oh and supposedly thursday is meant for mechanical engineering students to do their checkup so might be i'll get to see the people whom i'll be seeing in the same lecture group. haha. pretty cool. gotta go to the office to ask them some stuff about other application details like tuition grant, giro, student's pass etc. a tedious day that would be. oh man. and when i do submit the application for student's pass it probably means i gonna hafta find somewhere to stay in singapore cos i'd hafta submit my passport too. damn. that's gonna be another problem. grrr.
-forgot my name at 1:47 AM
the bitch of everyone.
haha. what the fuck man. i'm like suddenly awake. for no particular reason la. oh i was saying the commercials. it really is interesting la. might be you people ought to catch some someday. even though you might not understand malay, the weird sounds they make sometimes are like funny. and there was actually this government sponsored ad on tv quite some time back. it actually depicts a scene on the mrt (yes there is mrt in malaysia too. kl to be exact.) and it was like damn freaking crowded on the train. then this pregnant chinese lady got on the train and there were no seats available. there was this malay guy who wasn't asleep but had his briefcase on his lap then the moment he saw the pregnant lady he pretended to be asleep and totally ignored the lady in front of him. the indian lady beside the malay stood up and offered the seat to the pregnant lady and the malay guy still pretended to be asleep but peeped over his shoulder occasionally. at the next stop, a blind malay guy came on the train. nobody offered to give up his seat to the blind man and the malay guy pretended to be asleep once again. then it was the pregnant lady who offered her seat to the blind old man. yup. that's all for the story. then at the end of it all there was this message that sorta encourages people to be polite and do give up their seats to people who need it that kinda crap. apparently this ad sparked off a lot of debates in the local newspaper. why? because the person who pretended to be asleep was a malay guy and not an indian nor a chinese. a whole lotta people wrote in to complain about it and questioned the authority why they used a malay as that role and said it would cast a bad light upon the race. then there was this opposing view written by an educated malay in the newspaper that i can remember till date. he/she said: just because it was a malay that was depicted, many wrote in to complain and even asked for the commercial to be banned. so would they rather the role be played by a chinese or an indian then they would be happy? what is important is not the race of the character playing that specific role but the fact that we should reflect upon ourselves whether we are guilty of doing the same thing. he is just so spot on about this thing isn't it. i really liked what he said cos racial tension is always there in malaysia whether you like it or not. although people don't really openly talk bout such things but you could feel the instability amongst the different races. people are just not able to set aside their differences and celebrate what we have in common. this is the country that i live in. let's just hope it gets better. haha. i'm sounding all so serious. damn. i think there's something else that i wanna blog about but i can't remember what. i was thinking bout this before i slept last night. grrr.
-forgot my name at 2:36 AM
just gotten a couple of tracks from my chemical romance's previous album which was released in 2002. honestly speaking, that album didn't really cut it. the few tracks that i heard was pretty average and were very much similar to this other band called the used. their new album is totally different. all you need is one album to breakthrough from the stereotypes that critics have given you and you're gonna be kicking asses overnight. that's pretty cool man.
oh and i keep forgetting to talk about this. it's just something i've noticed and it's really worth mentioning. ah i'm really sleepy at this moment. my brain's really kinda dead. taking forever and ever to type this whole entry. ok let's get back to the point. seems to me that singapore pretty much lacks creative people in the advertising business. in one whole year there ain't many commercials that would make you laugh out loud and actually remember the commercial or whatever product it's trying to sell. not that i favour malaysia in this aspect but speaking from a neutral point of view, commercials in malaysia are pretty much more entertaining than the ones on mediacorp tv. maybe it's because they've managed to find a lot of cute malay guys who could really act cute and spastic at the same time. haha. i can't continue on man. my brain's really dead. i'll just leave it at here.
-forgot my name at 2:18 AM
man. the most incredible stuff actually happened to me for two days in a row. never in my two fucking years of playing neopets did i get something called a 'paint brush' which is like extremely rare in the game itself. yesterday i was like playing this thing called the 'fruit machine' then i won my first ever 'disco paint brush' then today i was damn bored so i decided to play this game called 'test your strength' then i actually got into the top 100 list of high score and i received a 'halloween paint brush'. man. i was like totally ecstatic once again. for two days i'm on such fucking luck la. how come i don't see myself winning toto or 4d. fucked up.
-forgot my name at 1:05 AM
a thousand miles.
haha. everytime i hear this song i'll get reminded of the scene in white chicks. the nigger singing to the song with the damn freaking gay expression on his face. haha. it's totally hilarious man. that show is like damn funny. i simply love all these kinda gay ass shit.
oh ain't got much to talk about today actually. just rot around here and there and rearranged my books on my bookshelves. pretty cool. there are like darn lots of mosquitoes inhabiting in my bedroom la. like when i move this particular sofa chair in my room, about a zillion mosquitoes would start flying around. then i whipped out a racket-looking-thing that has electric current passing through the metallic wiring and grilled all those mosquitoes. it was totally fulfilling man. told ya i was gonna grill those bastards alive some day. my dad's still trying to fix up the air-con in my bedroom so hopefully i'll be able to get my bedroom back by this week. gonna be moving this comp into my bedroom so it's gonna be cool i suppose. but i'm afraid i might be camping even more in my room and leaving my family by themselves. ah ok i'll try not to be anti-social and try to spend more time with them. gonna be moving into hostel then i won't be able to spend as much time as i like with them so i'll just treasure every moment from now on. (",)
ah thursday is fast approaching. gotta go do my medical checkup at ntu and have to do some sorta HIV and Tuberculosis test. man. what if i fail the HIV test? haha. i'm thinking a tad too much.
-forgot my name at 11:34 PM
haha. what a topic. can't believe i actually came up with that crap. nah. i had a pretty awesome sunday today although it was basically just slacking around doing nothing for the most part. the first thing i woke up today i know that it's gonna be a great sunday. why? simply because i had such a good sleep the night before. no i did not have any wet dreams with some supermodel in it. i basically had a very very very very peaceful sleep. maybe i was dead tired cos i slept too little on friday night and walked all over the place on saturday. but i really liked it. to be in such deep slumber and feel all so free of all my cares and all. not that i'm particularly troubled by anything but i just fell asleep the moment i lay on my bed and woke up to a bright and sunny sunday with breakfast all ready on the dining table. what more could you expect for a start to a sunday morning.
nothing else really mattered for the rest of the day. a beautiful start to the day won't have any crappy endings. i'm honoured to have someone mentioning me on her blog. it really gladdens me to know that she actually read word for word in my entries and that she really cares. i'm touched. but i ain't gonna cry. haha. oh and btw, i ain't really enthusiastic about uni life. i'm just calm and composed about it. just basically gonna tackle whatever shit comes my way. i'm just sooooo confident bout my life at this point of time.
-forgot my name at 4:03 AM
don't phunk with my hearth.
just a couple of days back my friend was like telling me that my posts these couple of days doesn't seem to be that "heavy" anymore. it used to have some sorta gloomy atmosphere around but it's gettin more cheerful in a way. that's good news actually. i ain't noticed no difference till she brought it up to me. pretty cool. i suppose she's right in a way. i could feel my confidence level rising once again. i'm back to the egoistic bitch i was once again. call me whatever you want cos i ain't gonna give a damn bout it. i'm far more superior than you pathetic earthlings. muahaha.
maybe it's because the lonely mood ain't around me no more. not that i've found company or anything. but it somehow feels as if my life's so much more fulfilling and enriching these days although i've been pretty much doing the same things over the past couple of months. the whole feeling just ain't the same anymore. i could sit around at home doing virtually nothing and yet still feel so good about myself and the life that i'm having. as i would put it, i have come to terms with my mundane life. or as rob thomas would sing it, i don't wanna be lonely no more. but rob thomas is gay. i loved him as the rob thomas in matchbox twenty. never as the solo singer he is now. ok i'm digressing. maybe it's cos uni life is starting soon for me and there's pretty much something to look forward to and i could actually start counting down. there's still medical checkup to be done and student pass to be applied and gonna have to move my stuff to the hostel once i've been issued the key. so it's pretty cool. there's a whole new life waiting for the same old me.
somehow i feel that my parents do know what is going on in my life in a way. of course they do. i never doubted their intelligence. i never did tell them previously that i was involved in a relationship. but they sorta get the drift from what i've been doing etc. they never did ask me bout it anyway. they don't really approve of bgr at this stage but i don't think there's much that they can do bout it. i'm too bad-tempered to really be bothered bout what they think. and of course, i do think that they know that my previous relationship has ended a long time back. they never did ask me that again. haha. they basically never ask anything about what i do. i tell them what i would like them to know. i'm telling them more and more i realized. that's good in a way. communication has gotta be both ways. someone has to start. so why not me. i wanna close the gap between my parents and me so i'm beginning to like tell them more and more bout my friends. cos i want them to know who my friends are so they'd be less worried bout me and also get to know me better in a way.
oh i was going to get to the point. was sorta like having this conversation about my friends in the car with my parents. somehow we were talking bout stuff like i seem to know a lot of rich man's son or something like that. then i realized that is true in a way. a lotta close friends around me are pretty well-off and that's good in my own opinion. friends are important to me. not only as friends but as a form of networking i would say. as my dad has told me previously, everyone in the world is making use of one another in a way to satisfy their own desires. it is true in a way. i agree with his remarks but that doesn't mean i doubt the sincerity of the friendships that i've established thus far. it ain't so. it's just that both statements are valid. making use of one another ain't really in the sinister sort of way but like...argh i don't know how to put it across. hope you do get my drift. many of the friends around me are business-minded cos of their family background and that is so similar to mine and i do so believe each and every one of them could prove to be a real help in my future endeavours. what would life be like without you guys around man.
oh and after talking damn lots of cork about the rich kids around me the topic sorta got shifted to rich gals that i know of. apparently there ain't none in particular that i know of. come on man. i know so fucking limited number of girls then my dad was like saying something like go and woo some 千金小姐 or something then life would be so much easier. i was like laughing man. that was so funny and my mum was like nodding her head in approval. haha. but the statement makes sense in a way man. where the fuck am i gonna find such a girl. haha. apparently these days they're kinda worried about me staying at home far too often. i could feel it although they ain't said nothing about it. seems like they're pretty worried about me staying single for fear of me turning gay or something as from what they've seen in all those sappy dramas on tv. my mum has been especially worried about my haircut these days. she keeps asking me to go and cut my hair every couple of days. she even offered to like sponsor me 100 bucks to go to those high-class salons to have a better hairstyle or something like that. it's like so totally funny. it's just so unlike of her to give so much of a damn about how i look but she seems pretty concerned recently. i honestly don't really give that much of a fuck about how i look compared to like one year ago. i really don't know why but i'm more of like whatever these days. i don't even care if my hair is totally messed up or what. haha. i'm confident bout how i look so i can carry it off well no matter what. that's as far as i believe. haha. so sue me for being such an egoistic punk ass shit.
haha oh and my fellow blogger has mentioned something bout speaking proper english. just kinda inspired to talk bout something here too bout the same stuff. haha. i realized my bestie has got like an australian accent when he speaks english. that sounds completely weird in a way to me. ain't never expected him to talk like that in english. he sounds completely half-malaysian half-singaporean when he speaks in chinese but i was stunned when he used aussie slangs like 'cheers' to replace 'thanks' . i wonder where he learnt that from. haha. but that's cool. haha. i still think it's funny. ok. i realized i've been tryin to speak or rather type in proper english on msn and also when i blog. i seem to have gotten out of the lah leh loh thing sometime back i don't know why. even in my conversations i don't usually come up with those things. words like la would come out in conversations like 'fuck you la' or 'don't like that la' that sorta thing. haha. ok that sounds gay. haha. even my parents don't use a lot of lahs and all that i realized. hmm. pretty cool. haha. whoever cares. being yourself is all that matters. if i'm comfortable with whatever way i'm talking, fuck you and all your opinions.
oh and i saw this thing on my fellow blogger's entry. the 'ive stolen your heart' thing. haha. i think i do understand what the poor fellow's trying to say to the girl. it's just another way of saying 'i fell in love with you but you ain't reciprocating my love and i'm-feeling-all-so-shit-up-so-could-you-please-tell-me-things-that-i-want-to-hear'. haha. oh man i can't believe i came up with this shit. come on guys. don't deny it. this is what you are trying to put across when you do say such a thing isn't it. who says only girls are good at this kinda word games. we pricks can do the same too man.
oh man and all the pull ups i've been doing recently doesn't seem to be improving much man. the max i can do now is like eleven. which is like one more than that time when i first mounted the bar on my doorway. haha. i always try to do my max whenever i get on it. always been staying at like 7 or 8 for the next four or five sets after doing one set of 10. not sure if it's useful but i do feel good when i am able to pull myself up. so whoever cares. haha. i could feel my chest once again so that's all i care.
oh and i realized there are actually quite a number of guy friends around me who are pretty much against the idea of pre-marital sex and are willing to hold on to the idea that they're gonna give their first time to their wife only. that's pretty cool. i do so hold them in awe for that actually. might be i oughta do the same thing. might be i won't be able to find that girl in my life. haha. i'm thinking too much. but i'm pretty much convinced that pre-marital sex ain't all that good. well it ain't that it ain't good but just that it won't be appropriate. cos it could bring in a whole lotta other problems in a simple relationship so that wouldn't be nice. seems like my view of getting into a relationship has pretty much changed. it ain't all about finding that special someone whom you could fall in love with everyday but more of like finding that partner who could help you in the things that you would be doing and being there for you when you require so. it ain't all gonna be all the lovey dovey shit but more of the practical stuff like living together and all i suppose. haha. i'm thinking too much again. hahaha. this ain't getting nowhere. i'm off before you people shoot me. this entry has gotten a bit too fucking long.
-forgot my name at 7:25 PM
"We've got to get better."
I said, "It's all in your head."
We could live through these letters
Or forget it all together.
See the months they don't matter.
It's the days I can't take
When the hours move to minutes and I'm seconds away.
Just ask the question.
Come untie the knot.
Say you won't care,
Say you won't care.
Retrace the steps
As if we forgot.
Say you won't care,
Say you won't care.
We try to avoid it,
But there's not a doubt,
And there's one thing I can do nothing about.
Well all that we need is just a reaction,
It's too much to ask for when there's no attraction anymore
If chasing our dreams is just a distraction,
I want to remember when I know that I can't go back.
Just ask the question.
Come untie the knot.
Say you won't care,
Say you won't care.
Retrace the steps
As if we forgot.
Say you won't care,
Say you won't care.
We try to avoid it (Try to avoid it),
But there's not a doubt,
And there's one thing I can do nothing,
There's one thing I can do nothing,
There's one thing I can do nothing about.
(Finally)
Just ask the question (Just ask the question).
Come untie the knot.
Say you won't care,
Say you won't care.
And retrace the steps (Retrace the steps)
As if we forgot.
Say you won't care.
Say you won't care.
We try to avoid it (Try to avoid it),
But there's not a doubt
And there's one thing I can do nothing,
There's one thing I can do nothing,
There's one thing I can do nothing about.
man. i realized i haven't been lazy and posted any song lyrics over here. i'm just kinda touched by this song i don't have any fucking reasons why. i'm like singing out loud. haha. oh and while i was driving just now i heard the live broadcast of the Live 8 over radio. it's so touching to know that so many musicians in the world are putting in the efforts to help the starving children all over the world. i was so touched that i thought i almost cried la but my mum was beside me so i acted cool and steady. haha. i am really touched.
oh and i heard over radio that apparently howie day received a facsimile machine for his birthday and he was like ecstatic (i finally got it right) over it. then seacrest said something like "it's the simple things in life that makes us happy. facsimiles." i thought that was pretty funny and touching in a way. the simple things.
-forgot my name at 6:59 PM
man. just got home after one freaking hectic day in a way. haha but i love the company and all that we've done today man. it was totally stunning that my friend got into some sorta accident early in the morning. his car was still fine and running last night when he sent me home but today, the bumper of the car is dangling and the left front light is totally gone and the car is lopsided. haha. it's like his second accident in two weeks man. his car just got repaired and immediately he's got himself into another accident just along the road near his place. damn corked up. luckily one of the guys amongst us four is actually into this sorta car spare parts business and it's pretty big i assume. so the parts is no problem for my friend just that everything inclusive of compensation to the other party would cost bout 1k ringgit in all.
then we went right out to singapore after settling all that car business. headed right down to the temple at si ma lu to pray cos my friend says he's been really down on luck recently so why not. all of us went there cos it was on the way to go to sim lim too. oh actually all four of us have known each other since like primary 1 and the guy who was involved in the accident, i knew him when i was in kindergarten la! it's been a damn freaking long time man. after that shopped around at sim lim but apparently none of us bought any crap.
then went down to town to buy this shirt that the spare part guy has been eyeing for a long long time. it's actually some sorta jacket or blazer kind that's sold at U2. i was rather tempted to buy too cos after trying it on i thought i looked darn good in it la. it totally complements my inner beauty with my external charm. haha. but i held back buying it. my bestie bought an identical one as the other guy's cos he'd be wearing it in aussie so no prob at all. oh man. and i must say that today was really an eye-opener for me man. first time i actually see someone my age using a platinum credit card to pay for something and to carry a Burberry leather bag that i-wonder-cost-how-much around. haha. my bestie's just so one of a kind man. he doesn't know how much that costs him cos his mum bought it for him and he's got like two other LV wallets or something. that's too fucking high class for me man. ain't never gonna be able to part with that kinda money to buy that kinda stuff. haha but you could never tell that his family's like so rich cos he's ever so humble and down-to-earth in a whole lotta aspects. he doesn't really splurge on anything and is meticulous about his spendings. that's nice man. i love that.
came back to jb for dinner or maybe i should say supper cos we ate at like eleven plus after taking a cab back to my friend's house so he could use his BMW to drive us around to look for the makan places. woah i had like one of the best those barbecued or grilled sting ray here in jb man. and the rojak was like excellent too. had so much to eat i think i'm gonna become like so fucking fat can. i just love the feeling of talking a lot of cork in your friend's car as we drive about from places to places looking for food to eat or just driving around for nothing in particular. haha. man i love you guys.
-forgot my name at 1:27 AM
yeaps. as many of you well know. i was out hanging out with the hockey guys at sentosa. i must say the day started out pretty bad with an ultra heavy soaking rain that almost soaked right through my boxers. ok i was exaggerating. my shoes were definitely soaked though.
so i went right over to sentosa after collecting some of my notes from my hall. yes i skipped the supposed physics makeup lecture. don't see the need to go there when i've already completed the tutorial the lecture was supposed to be talking about so yeah just fuck it. i needed the sleep. ain't done much over at sentosa actually. just soaked in the jacuzzi shit for like two freaking hours in the rain. it was kinda dumb actually but if i don't take off my clothes and soak myself in it, the rest of the people there would probably just throw me in with all my clothes on so i ain't got much of a choice. so it was like frigging cold even when you're in the water but yeah whatever. at least i've got a not bad body to show. muahaha
ok back to the point. yes it's supposed to be a farewell shit for justin which he keeps on thinking of zao-ing. so we went to have dinner at shit-i-forgot-the-name-of-the-restaurant which is at ECP. had some seafood thing la. i remembered there was crabs...veges...crabs...crabs...ah whatever. i ain't got enough sleep man. kinda half alive now. we made our way down to tanjong beach for the grand finale of course. to get him drunk so that he'll screw my ass when he's drunk or something. ok my room mate's keep on messaging me on msn telling me he can't access the student link or some shit which is totally annoying at this point of time. i shall ignore him and continue blogging and reply him only when i fucking feel like it. fuck la. i shouldn't have given him my msn. knn. ok back to the happy stuff. ah justin didn't get drunk as we'd all like to but he's kinda wasted too. he's tired and tired and tired. just like me. argh. oh and i've finally gotten to try out something that i think is real cool man. those flaming alcoholic drinks that i always see them drink on tv. man. ok that was actually supposed to be a forfeit for keep on losing in the freaking confusing number game but to be honest, a part of me wanted to lose cos i really wanted to try it la. haha. and yes i've drank quite a lot yesterday. not as in alcoholic content but just a lot. cos somehow i wasn't able to count properly last night or every other night then i had to drink corona for darn lotsa times. yeah of course i didn't get drunk as i would pretty much like to for the first time in my life. i must say a part of me really wanted to get drunk la. but yeah never mind. i still hold my liquor pretty well. ah but it was totally great fun sabo-ing each other in the games that we play so that we can make em drink or something. we all had fun of course. yup. i just slept like 3 hours today then i had to come back home to do my stuff. already got my printer so yeah it's gonna be one less thing on my to-do list. that is if i got one to begin with in the first place. ah what am i saying. fuck la.
-forgot my name at 2:26 PM
escape artist.
man. i was just lamenting how little time i have available for myself. yes. for myself. at home. i really do so wanna spend soooo much time at home. i couldn't even find time to blog for the whole day until now. there were so many a times when i wanted to talk about something but i was preoccupied with checking out all the petty details on my courses' lectures and tutorials and all. damn. today was totally wasted on all those stuff. finding out what books i oughta buy, what notes i need, what tutorial i need to do by next week, how each of the course goes and how to take up a minor etc etc. the list is just never ending man. i'm still coping. don't worry.
yes i've managed to do up my tutorials for econs and physics which would be needed next week. econs was like totally fucked. i wanted to like show both my middle fingers at the tutorial after completing it for wasting my ink. it's like pilot g-tec know. the ink's like damn ex can. and it used up one page of my foolscap. ah but physics is hard and math is gonna be harder. i'm gonna be looking at complex numbers and a whole lotta crap which i barely yes barely understood even when i took my A levels. so it's just gonna be fucked up. i'll try my best to read up on it. this just so reminds me of the time when i first started repeating my j1. i always did my tutorials beforehand cos it's totally no kick. i wonder how long i could sustain this time around.
i'm seriously neglecting so many different important aspects of my life now man. i'm not getting enough deafening music in my ears, not enough time to watch all the shows i've downloaded, not enough time to play morrowind or fifa 05, not enough time to really sit down and watch tv, not enough time for my favorite mtvs, not enough time to read my bedtime stories and not enough time to meet up with all the people i've always wanted to meet up with man. of course, there's always time for porn and all. it doesn't take up too much of my time. my schedule's just kinda packed la. i'm sorry. probably i'm more of like disorganised rather than busy actually. i'm so pathetic i'm trying to watch mtv while i'm blogging at this moment la. can you just imagine. man. i've been listening to the same tracks on my mp3 player for darn long i realised. i need a new list man. fuck. ah i hafta go down to my fricking hall to get my complex notes and then move right on to meet the guys. at least i know i'll be seeing jason cos i really ain't seen him for a long long time. and i do miss him more than the others somehow. hmm. fuck la. i'm turning gay right.
-forgot my name at 2:53 AM
Q: What's worse than a flying roach?
A: A flying cricket.
knn.
-forgot my name at 2:10 AM
burn it off and fade away.
yeah i met up with david at queensway yesterday and kinda shopped around for shoes. it ain't particularly worth mentioning actually. but the stuff we talked about is definitely worth a mention over here.
it ain't something new actually. but something that i've talked about for a zillion times on my blog already. it's actually surprising to me cos it's the first time someone has actually talked about that issue with me in real life you know. it's different to talk it out with someone and witness their reactions first hand. so what were we talking about? love duh. yeah he was asking me about how to get chicks i think. i ain't no love doctor but i just shared what i feel about this sorta thing nonetheless. i won't go into details over here. if you want you can ask me personally and i might consider sharing with you. so we were talking talking while sitting at some sofa in ikea then somehow the topic went to what i think about love. so being a firm believer in whatever i believe in, i narrated most of the stuff that i blogged about. all the crap about true love and all that. man. it is the first time that someone actually agrees with me that it all boils down to sex man. as in after you look through the superficial disguise of love and all, it's all sex that's underneath. i mean how often would you find guys who actually would admit to this kinda stuff you know. that most of the mushy stuff that guys say to girls are actually prelude to sex? it's just like how those MAXIM magazines put it:
Girl: Do you love me?
Guy: I love you forever baby. (So can we have sex now?)
that's just how it goes baby. i don't wanna give more examples cos it'd be the same shit man. come on guys. don't tell me you ain't done this shit before man. ah whatever. it's just my own opinion about this. of course, there are a zillion of you out there who are dying to say that there is really something called love. i'll just stay firm to my belief and shall continue seeking people who knows what i'm talking about man. thanks dave for letting me feel less of a horny bugger in this world.
-forgot my name at 12:46 AM
-forgot my name at 12:09 AM
dissolve and decay.
yes i just got back home. man and my head hurts. i wonder if it's because i slept too late last night or because i keep waking up from my sleep to find myself being all so alone in that freaking hellhole. i mean it's just totally different to be sharing a room with someone you barely know. i won't say that my room mate's destestable but he's just pretty much average or slightly below average on my list cos i really can't communicate well with him. no it ain't cos i can't speak fluent chinese but it's simply knowing that there is basically nothing much in common to talk about with him. and the only thing that he keeps bothering me about is all the lessons, all the topics, all the academic matters which are totally driving me nuts. i mean for god's sake i'm also in my first year and i have no more freaking clue on what to do as much as he does so would he just kindly buzz off? i'm trying to cope with my fucking bored hostel life without a comp around but he just won't leave me alone man. even today when i told him i'm gonna go back malaysia and probably won't be back till saturday for the lecture and he keeps asking me when i'm gonna be back. i mean yeah you're pretty lonely all alone in the hostel so fucking find something to do la. surf some porn and wank yourself silly cos i won't be around god damn it. just stop bothering me ya. i got a life of my own to lead and he can't be part of it right now. what a fucked first four days in school.
never mind. let's talk about the happy things in uni then. it ain't all that bad actually. well actually there's been a whole lotta surprises here and there cos i've met a lotta people whom i never expected to see at ntu also so it's pretty cool to know that at least i still have some friends around. went for a couple of lectures over the past few days and it all ain't that bad. at least they haven't really taught anything new at all yet. but what's scary is they're rushing through every single thing that we've learnt in jc man. every math topic we covered in jc is represented in just one powerpoint slide and it takes less than five minutes of the lecture for him to go through it. that is scary. math. fucked. well, for all the horny guys out there. you might wanna ask me if there's any babes around. i honestly don't know how to answer you all man. i mean most of the chicks down there looks pretty much the same to me. ain't really seen any that stands out of the crowd not only cos of her beauty but her ability to dress out of the mainstream. everyone dresses pretty much the same down there and it gets really bored and the hairstyle every one of them has is pretty much the same so i'm just like whatever. i'd rather spend my time watching the scenic view around the school or just retracing my steps from one place to the other. of course i hafta cater to the girls and gays who are probably reading this too. there ain't no particular cute guys i see around in ntu man. everyone looks equally despo to me. and it's basically just the same shit as with the girls la. i don't know man. i'm just trying hard not to fall under the mainstream category. somebody save me from this hellhole man.
ah the only thing that i could actually look forward to at this point of time is probably having more time to meet up with my friends cos i'll be staying in singapore once again so i could pretty much stay out till the morning if i want to. oh and of course there's gonna be some upcoming inter-block games within each hall so it's pretty cool. i signed up for hockey of course and i'll see how it goes. hope it's gonna be cool. that's all for now. catch ya people another time.
-forgot my name at 7:36 PM
can't repeat.
so long people. you all know where to find me.
-forgot my name at 2:19 AM
so come on show me how.
i took a nap.
-forgot my name at 6:16 PM
can we die.
i'm too shit up to blog bout today.
no. nothing's happened.
contemplating whether to get a notebook.
-forgot my name at 2:21 AM
give me all your hopeless hearts to make me ill.
man. this is just gonna be some ramblings about love. so pardon me if you find everything kinda mixed up here and there as you go through this. my thought's pretty messed up right now and i ain't got no wish to set everything in order. just let me be.
i'm having this very interesting about relationship with jing right now. haha. it's so interesting that it actually inspired me to blog about this shitty topic of love now. ain't it cool? yeah i've done this before but this is gonna be different. it's just gonna be my point of view on a whole lotta stuff. i was talking about the type of girls i would gonna be with in my next relationship. well, basically for now i'm proud to say that there ain't no specific type on my list. i'm just like yeah whatever. i'll just go for whatever feels right. or seems to be. what's right? i don't know. i'll know when i know. it's more of like a trial and error stage for me at this point of time as i was telling her. i ain't gonna be committing myself into my next relationship i suppose. ain't got the time to do so. i've got more important stuff in my life other than love. i wouldn't wanna define what type i like or what type i don't like cos i'm gonna have an open mind about everything. after all, how would you know it ain't your type if you haven't tried it before. just like how would you know you like girls if you ain't tried guys. nah. haven't tried guys as of yet but maybe there'd be one fine day which i'll do so. man. that's gross. haha
and i was thinking. man. why must there be so much of those promises here and there in a simple relationship. why couldn't people just keep it simple and just enjoy the company of the other half without bothering so much about the future and all. i mean why couldn't it be as simple as those dumb hollywood love flicks where you don't see them promising so much about the future but focusing more of now you get what i mean? i remember reading this somewhere before that a guy should never ever tell a girl the words 'i love you' and looking right into her eyes. you only tell that to her when you are gonna propose to her. that's some american webbie i read from i think. man. that's what i'm looking for. someone who ain't gonna bug me about promises of the future and promises of this shit and that. promises brings about far too much stress in a responsible young adult like me man. that's why i hate to promise people stuff and fail to do so. i only promise them when i know i really wanna do it and it's within my ability to do so. after all, most of the time when guys do all those sweet talks to the girl he fancies it's just part of paving the road for the next big thing isn't it? yeah the next big thing being having a crazy night of kinky sex and all. why do guys do this kinda fucked up things? what do you expect man. you can't expect them to say stuff like: hey how bout you and i do it like they do on the discovery channel right here right now? you expect a girl to be absolutely turned on by that kinda shit? maybe for a split second the girl would think: woah that's kinky. let's get it on. but morality and social consciousness would hit the girl right in her face and make her do something like give the guy a tight slap across the cheek and say: you're a jerk. this sucks man. why can't people just do what they wanna do? please let me fuck my life up one more time. just to know that i'm still alive. after all, we all only live once. have you?
If you ever get a second chance, in life for something, go all the way. - Lance Armstrong
-forgot my name at 2:37 AM
your own disaster.
for the first time in a fricking long time, i'm gonna let myself fall prey to the commercial gimmicks that's all around us. i'm gonna go get myself a pair of nikefree trainer so i could reincarnate now. haha. sounds corny and crappy and all but i think i'm beginning to love the commercials and of course maybe even the shoe. whoever cares. i need to get myself a new trainer anyway. oh and i'm gonna get myself a livestrong wristband not because i really do wanna support the lance armstrong cancer foundation but i'm more of like inspired by the man himself. i just so love him. visit the nikefree website if you wanna know why. maybe this ain't the first time i've fallen prey to these advertising ploys they've been using. i've always been a sucker for heineken beer. i'm so fucked.
-forgot my name at 1:57 AM
it's not a fashion statement, it's a deathwish.
a moody day.
-forgot my name at 6:50 PM
the urge to ride is the best instinct.
yeah that's the slogan harley davidson has recently adopted or maybe adopted all the while i have no fricking clue. i just think it's kinda cool. just wanna add my comment on a few great commercials i've seen on tv very recently. first up is the heineken commercial no not the ear popping one but the one whereby they sent a machine into outer space to detect extra-terrestrial life or something. yeah that's the one. just thought it's pretty innovative of them to come up with such an idea for a simple beer commercial. ah the next one which really touched me was the latest nike commercial. this time they ain't gotten any of those hot sporting stars for the commercial but just an average dorky looking guy who's running on a desert road which doesn't seem to end. he's running and suddenly comes to a stop saying he can't continue running no more. and the 'other' him tells him that he can still go on running and they go on a debate about whether or not to continue runnin. then the conclusion was that the 'other' him is gonna leave the old self behind and continue running. woah. then the slogan of 'reincarnate now' appears. i was like woah. that was inspirational. haha. i'm such a dork.
-forgot my name at 9:46 PM
stockholm syndrome.
yeah. a couple of things i forgot to blog about yesterday and i've forgotten almost all by now. here's a notice for you people who might be reading this. arthur's grandpa passed away and he's kinda busy with the funeral and i didn't know till he replied me back yesterday. my heart goes out to him man. i know what it feels like. if you people know him real well then drop him a message to show your concern or something. that's about all for now.
-forgot my name at 9:06 PM
when you grow up.
man. what can i say bout today. i've had an awfully fabulous day today although there was a minor glitch in the morning that totally caught me unaware. i'll talk bout that later. everything's gonna be in chronological order man and it'll probably be kinda long so bear with me.
yeah so i woke up at six and made my way down to lavender early in the morning to submit my application for the student's pass. they're pretty efficient over there man. immediately after i got my queue number it was my turn to submit my application cos there simply ain't nobody applyin for student's pass so frickin early in the morning. i was told to collect my passport and all bout two to three hours later and i was totally amazed that they're soooo damn efficient these days man. gone were the days when they would ask you to go back to collect everything the next day or at least in the late afternoon. so yeah that's pretty cool.
after submitting that shit it was barely 9am so i made my way down to ntu to collect my hostel room key from the hall office. oh on my way there there was this punk ass biatch who got on the train at i don't know where and she looked kinda cute and pretty and all. haha. let's just leave it as that. i always think girls look pretty good dressed up punk and all. it's some sorta fetish for hipsters and mini skirts you see. wait what has mini skirts gotta do with punk you ask? ah whatever. haha. it's just my fetish. had to ask my way around to find the hall office cos the door is like sooooo damn tiny at one corner can. i thought it was a cabinet door for those fire hosereel or something rather than a door to a hall office. that was totally crappy. got my keys, opened up my room door and the first few words that came to my mind: what the fuck is this? knn. this is one of the worst rooms i've ever stayed in and i'll include those kampong rooms into it too. it's even worse than those kampong huts. i'd rather pitch a tent and sleep on the grass if i could man. ok. maybe i oughta stop acting like some rich urban kid who's never had a hard life. at least the room's got two beds, two cupboards, two tables, two lamps, two fans, two shitass living in it. all the room need is some tidying up and all la. it's just too dirty to my liking for now. i'll get it all sorted out again when i move in.
yeah and what a coincidence my roommate actually moved in today too. he arrived not long after i went into the room and we sorta introduced each other or rather i introduced myself cos i don't remember asking for his name and all. all i know is that he's from china and he'd be doing common engineering first year. seems a decent chap so that probably means my ass is kinda secure for the next few months i hope. we sorta decided on which territory we'd be occupying and all and we arranged the furnitures around so that we'd have a tad of privacy here and there. oh yeah then there's this pretty funny thing that happened while i was talking to his dad. his parents were in singapore too to help him settle his accomodations and all. so i was just chatting with him about this and that in pure chinese for about 10 minutes or so when he suddenly asked: 你是华人还是马来人？i was like o_o i replied i was chinese of course after bout a few seconds later. man. do i absolutely not look chinky to them or what. after conversing in pure chinese for so long he could ask me that question. maybe he's joking. ah crap. let's move on.
so after that i proceeded to the bus stop to wait for my bus back to the mrt without a hint as to where i'd be going next cos i was still waiting for my date of the day to wake up. then she msged to let me know she's down with fever so there goes my plans and all. ah had to come to terms with the fact so the next thing i did was to scroll through my phone book and see who might be available for the day. note that it was still 10 plus in the morning so i thought it shouldn't be that hard to get someone out. yeah well apparently i was wrong. lemme recount. i must've msged like around 10 other persons. out of which most of them are in camp or not available. the only one i know of who's slacking his ass off at home is david. and he told me today's wanking day and he ain't gonna come out. man. all i could do was laugh sia. he's like so totally cute la. haha. but of course after laughing out loud and all i realized i still haven't found myself a date for the day. so i was having this thought in my mind: if there ain't nobody to make my day, why not i make my own day. so that was it. my motto for today. keep myself occupied and do something that really makes myself feel good. i went back to aj to collect my cert cos i was damn bloody free and then headed to town for lunch all by myself. i've decided to pamper myself so i walked right into crystal jade and spent a 19 bucks all by myself including tipping them 60 fricking cents for whatever little service they offered to me. whatever. i'm in a good mood today. haha. yes and while i was having lunch aihua actually replied to my msg and it just so happens that she'd be able to meet me but only at 6pm. kinda crappy cos it was only 3 when i finished my lunch but i decided to wait up for her all the same cos it's been sooooo long since i saw her and talked a whole lotta cock with her. so i did manage to get myself a date after all. (",)
spent the next two and a half hours loitering in kinokuniya flipping through all the books i had never had the chance to flip them through cos when someone's accompanying you to the bookstore you just feel bad making the person wait while you happily flip through all the books. so it actually feels pretty good to be there by myself and reading stuff here and there. yeah all's pretty cool. david the wanker then decided he's had enough of wanking and needed an extra hand job so he called me up and wanted to meet up with me after all. he dropped by at like 530 or something then we just hanged out for a while before me going off to meet aihua for dinner. well of course after spending three freaking hours there i bought three freaking books. knn. i'm like 84 bucks poorer after today. amazingly only one book's fantasy and the other two's general fiction which i find wickedly funny. now i've got 7 unread books in my shelf. oh man.
man. no words could adequately describe the amazing time i had with aihua over dinner and we found time to watch fantastic four without me being too late for home. so that was totally awesome. woah it was just like the good old days back in aj where we gossiped bout sooooo many different stuff and all. somehow i could converse really well with her for a girl that is. she's just like soooooo brotherly and all that makes you feel all comfortable and not forgetting all the wicked jokes here and there throughout the conversation. just basically lots of laughter and gossips and even more cock-and-bull story of the past but very little food cos i was too darn full from the meal at crystal jade and neither was she hungry. well. fantastic four was as good as i expected it to be. and needless to say. torch and invisible woman are hot. he's kinda cute actually. ah. damn i'm turning gay. fuck. well, then the most amazing thing happened while we were on the train on our way back. we actually met two of our classmates on the train. our class couple the anderson sec couple in my class. yeah those two. haha. it's like the first time i see them outside of ang mo kio area man. so that's like damn amazing. haha. i'm being evil here. okok. but all in all, i had a totally wonderful time today. i'm all smiles! =D
-forgot my name at 12:16 AM
lifestyle of the bitch and the shameless.
man. i was totally slacking my balls off today. literally slacking it off. fucked up. couldn't even get a decent sleep for my monday. at about 7.45am my parents shop alarm was triggered by my cat which was in the shop then the alarm's connected to my house phone so there was a morning call that woke everyone up. i was like what the fuck. i went to sleep at like 3.40am la. then i went back to sleep but was woken up by another call at 10.36am. apparently my parents were out then there was this uncle who wanted me to pass something to my parents so i had to get my ass outta my bed and wait for him. grrr. tried to get back to sleep so i could wake up at like 1pm or something but it started thundering and all at 11.03am. i figured i wasn't fated to be with my bed any longer so i dragged my balls outta my bed and started my usual routine in front of my comp.
today's kinda a productive day for morrowind. covered a large area of the map without actually completing much of the quests. then went right on to read some walkthroughs for the game and learnt a whole lot of new stuff about it. the way it works and all. ah ok. that sounds pretty no life and all but whatever. ok. i helped my mum make some wantons for lunch today. erm. and and and and i watched tv and all la. fuck sia. today's wasted. gotta get my student's pass done up tomorrow, collect my hostel room key, pay my handphone bills, hopefully watch fantastic four. man. i'm gonna die.
-forgot my name at 12:17 AM
la la la la la.
haha. fuck. i'm like all high cos of that groovy track. haha. i'm just like chirpy and all for now at least. i hope it lasts real long. i was talking bout me rocking to the beat and all in my previous post. man. i really think it'd be funny if anyone ever caught me alone sitting in front of my comp. not that i'd be watching porn or something. but it's like if i'm listening to tracks that i like you could basically see me doing all kinds of funny hand actions and trying to sing to the song at the same time. you know like those nigga rappers who would do the dj spinning shit thing while they're rapping. yeah. haha. this is getting embarassing dude.
come to think of it, when my brother and me were still some ignorant dumbasses, we would always sing out loud in the shower or something. haha. i could still remember my parents asking say if we wanna be singers when we grew up. that's like way crappy man. haha. yeah of course back in those days rock music was pretty much non-existent in my world so it was full of those boybands and all. boybands are cool man. i used to love them so so much. i thought they were like the epitome of cool and most of the people were like going gu-gu-ga-ga over them. i'm glad backstreet boy's still together and still singing. yeah their latest hit seems pretty nice but i ain't really into that sorta tracks these days so i'm sorry.
talking about camps. fuck man. i ain't signed up for any. haha. partly because i couldn't bear to part with 40 fricking bucks for an orientation camp also i couldn't bear to part with the comfort of my own home. all the porn i mean my comp waiting for me. man. i'm just some lonely piece of crap. haha. this is getting sooooooo exciting. somebody shoot me.
-forgot my name at 1:14 AM
Scissor Sisters - Take Your Mama
When you grow up
Livin' like a good boy oughta
And your mama
Takes a shine to her best son
Something different
All the girls they seem to like you
Cause you're handsome
Like to talk and a whole lot of fun
But now your girl's gone a missin'
And your house has got an empty bed
The folks'll wonder 'bout the wedding
They won't listen to a word you said
[Chorus]
Gonna take your mama out all night
Yeah we'll show her what it's all about
We'll get her jacked up on some cheap champagne
We'll let the good times all roll out
And if the music ain't good, well it's just too bad
We're gonna sing along no matter what
Because the dancers don't mind at the New Orleans
If you tip 'em and they make a cut
Do it
Take your mama out all night
So she'll have no doubt
That we're doing oh the best we can
We're gonna do it
Take your mama out all night
You can stay up late 'cause baby you're a full grown man
It's a struggle
Livin' like a good boy oughta
In the summer Watchin' all the girls pass by
When your mama
Heard the way that you'd been talking
I tried to tell you
That all she'd wanna do is cry
Now we end up takin' the long way home
Lookin' overdressed wearin' buckets of stale cologne
It's so hard to see streets on a country road
When your glasses in the garbage
And your Continental's just been towed
[Repeat Chorus x2]
woah baby. this is one helluva song. ain't really rock but it's got a real cheesy or corny tune to it that makes me wanna sing along with them everytime i hear it. (Take your mama out all night!) oops. i'm sorry. kinda got high at the wrong time of the day. man. i'm really like rocking to the groove baby. can you believe this. haha. if someone ever puts a spycam in my house i think they're so gonna get freaked out.
haha. i shall try to type out this blog as i continue rocking. oh i cleaned my dad's car today since like dunno how fucking long ago. haha. i was gonna make this a lazy sunday but my mum made me do this and that over here and over there that i didn't have much of a time to slack from noon till afternoon. then i continued playing my fricking morrowind till bout 7 plus then headed to watch the show on channel 8. man. i really don't know when i'm gonna complete morrowind. i've only like covered bout 8% of the entire map in the fricking game. that's so fricking crap man. haha. i'm a busy man you know. gotta balance my time chilling and rocking to the beat and watch tv and mop the floor occasionally and stuff. damn. fuck man. come to think of it, school's gonna start next week. i'm still totally in my holiday for 7 months mood. haha. somebody come kick my fat ass man. (take your mama out all night!)
-forgot my name at 12:44 AM
after the boys of summer have gone.
ah. got inspired by something i read at my fellow blogger's blog as well as something that i saw on tv a couple of days ago. she was talking about all this sorta caucasian thing and it just happened that i watched the manhunt or is it some sorta male model show on channel 5 the other day. ah. the first thing that came to my mind when i saw those absolutely fuckable hunks was: how fucking unfair can this world get man. then i went on trying to convince myself that they were maybe some intellectually challenged crap or some jerk ass who had such a totally shittified personality. ok. i'm plain jealous. so? when they give something to you they take something away too isn't it? i hope so. if it ain't so why do i not have everything? haha.
ok back to the topic. i was like oh fuck. what kinda fucking hot hunks do they have over there man. there's this particular thing i like about caucasian males actually. i don't know how to say it man. it's like somehow even though the guy may not be absolutely gorgeous looking but there's this particular aura of charismatic charm around him that makes him look totally awesome. he could be an ah pek with a balding head and just wearing a singlet with a pair of khakis shorts but he still looks absolutely confident of himself and all. i suppose that's what makes most caucasians look so freaking great all the time. it's all about the self-confidence in a way i believe. the way they portray themselves in front of others not to the extent of being egoistic but knowing that they are good in their own way so no matter what they wear, they're still cool all the same. they make the clothes they wear look good whereas asians tend to use the clothes they wear to make themselves look good. everyone over here's just too preoccupied with their superficial self that they have no time to get in touch with they are deep down.
oh. talking about clothing. was doing a lil bit of window shopping with arthur the other day after watching war of the worlds. he was like commenting about singaporeans not being bold enough in the way they dress. in a way that is so true. most of us including me would fall under the mainstream category in terms of dressing up. that's why i like to observe what people these days are wearing and try to come up with my own kinda style in a way. obviously i haven't really succeeded cos i ain't bold enough to try out most of the clothes that i wanna try out. i do so like the way the malays dress themselves up. the guys especially. most of you might say that they're being so 'mat' and all by wearing checkered shirt with a pair of tight jeans or some really weird kinda clothing that makes you wonder if they're doing cosplay or something. i think that's cool. honestly i do. they're really cool to be able to dress themselves up in that way i feel. and obviously they don't give a fuck about what people think of the way they dress cos they know that they're looking good. that's what i love about malays man. they do have a good sense of fashion and they don't need all the branded goods to make them look good. they make what they wear look good. that's just way awesome.
-forgot my name at 1:11 AM
what is the secret of your power.
ah. another of those i-slacked-my-ass-off-in-front-of-the-tv days. although there ain't much nice shows on saturday but it's cool just to chill on a saturday isn't it? haha. come to think of it, i haven't been out on weekends for a long time already and i'm beginning to like this kinda slacking life. damn. i am never gonna be able to get myself to study. i've slacked like seven months or more already. haha.
gotta go get my student's pass done up either on monday or tuesday. hope it'll be ready within a day or else i'll hafta find some place to rest my ass for the night in singapore. come to think of it, i'm kinda running outta ideas to blog bout recently. seems like one of those periods whereby i'm just so not inspired by anything cos everything's been pretty much normal these couple of days. or maybe i ain't been doing much thinking. well, not exactly i suppose. it's just that i've thought about most of the stuff that would be intriguing and there simply is no point to blog about all those kinda stuff again. argh. gotta find inspirattiooonnnsss...
haha. oh. why do some people seem to think that i'm the sort who goes clubbing kinda often? i don't know. my few malaysian buddies were like having that kinda thought while we went out the other time. apparently i'm more geeky than they thought me to be. haha. clubbing is nice in a way. yeah kinda makes me feel that i'm still a teenage dirtbag after all when i do so. but i've gotta face the fact and realize that i have a future to carve out and i suppose i oughta be utilizing my time and my parents hard-earned money (i don't earn my wage) better. ah what am i talking bout. i make no sense.
-forgot my name at 12:51 AM
it's four o'clock in the fucking morning.
nah. it ain't four. it's just the song i'm listening to. kinda been bumming around at home the whole day doing practically nothing. folded some clothes and stuff when i was really sick of playing pc game. just kinda been continuing with my morrowind the whole day. after rushing through the game for the past week, i'm finally back to where i was. or at least somewhere near. the whole freaking story's so darn long i wonder if i'll be able to complete this whole game before 2045 or something. there are like hundreds of missions available througout the game but there's only this 30 missions that you hafta complete in order to get through the game. but i'm a perfectionist in a way so i'mma try to do whatever missions i could find. i'm such a dork.
kinda been missing out on the guess show for the past two weeks cos my buddy's been asking me out for supper for the past few fridays. finally i can sit down on my couch and laugh my friday night away. totally cool. man. that girl on the show could run 1500 in like 4 min 35 sec. that's like totally awesome man. i'll never beat that. oh yeah i'm pretty much decided to be the anti-social bastard who doesn't go for any orientation shit. ain't signed up for any other than some faculty talk which would be held next friday. i might just be too lazy to wake up in the end. muahaha. how am i gonna get through my four years in ntu.
-forgot my name at 2:37 AM
we only live once. have you?
-forgot my name at 9:18 PM
he's everything you want.
ah i've finally got time to sit down and blog at my comp. kinda been at the shop for the whole day cos my dad had to go for this wedding dinner so i was with my mum keeping her company and stuff. just basically camped my ass over there and watched loads of tv.
was suddenly inspired to go shopping while watching the shopping king thing on channel 8. man. that show is evil. although i don't wear a spec and all, after seeing those funky cool stuff they've featured, i feel like getting one for myself too. but after thinking rationally, it's all dumb. so i was able to curb my temptation this time around but the food they've introduced seems yummy enough to me. ah i'd prefer chinese cuisine though. so let's just forget it.
then there's this artsy show on channel u just now. man it's pretty much inspiring in a way to see all the teenagers like us out there who's fighting so hard for their dreams. to be able to break free from the social norm of going into university and get a 9 to 5 job and really do something that they like. it's pretty cool. there's been enough debates about going into the art business or getting a 'real' job so i'll drop it. but the machi guy they've interviewed said something that really set me thinking: "when you're all low, everyone wants to step on you. but when you're all high up, everyone goes like wow, you're so talented and everyone wants to make friend with you. it's sad, but true." how else could you better describe this society we live in today? think about it. (",)
-forgot my name at 11:11 PM
give me your strength.
man. i just finished the whole of season 1. got 25 episodes in all. woah. i'm like totally hooked onto it. when's season 2 coming out man. no mysteries are solved at all man. every episodes just bring on more and more questions. damn. the producer is evil. never mind i'll try to divert my attention for now. just got myself season 1 of arrested development. funny shit. you people should really try it. just some no-brainer thing that i'm totally in love with.
oh and i was cruising through people's blog today. saw a very interesting and funny post. the blogger basically puts up a list of all her ex boyfriends. man. i think that's totally awesome. it's just like putting up a list of all the real stupid things that you've done over these 19 years of life and really have a good laugh about it. damn that's cool.
well, here's another thing that i kinda noticed in the show lost. don't you all realize that everyone on the island basically has a very volatile relationship with one another? as in like one moment you two could be friends and the next moment you could be doubting the other person or wishing to stick a knife into the bugger's throat. i suppose that's how fragile relationships between we humans are. there can never be complete trust in someone. we just believe.
-forgot my name at 2:13 AM
save my own skin.
ah. had a pretty engaging conversation with a salesperson at the shop just now. we talked about a lotta interesting stuff actually. my mum and dad and the person were like talking about secret societies and all. man. the stuff they say is just like those hongkong movies you see. were talking about some funeral thing then brought in the topic of those gang members coming in to attend the ceremony in truckloads of people. they really came by lorry and all. my mum said she saw them once when she went to one of our relative's funeral. i wasn't there. man. that must be exciting. then it was like when it's their turn to offer incense and all, everyone in the gang would stand up and bow and stuff like that. woah. must be a grand affair. haha. yeah these sorta stuff still exist over here. and they're pretty influential. malaysia. truly asia. what more could you expect?
-forgot my name at 5:35 PM
all right give up.
ah. i was gonna blog bout yesterday actually. but i ended up watching lost in the middle of the night and i was totally hooked onto it. watched three episodes straight and went to sleep at three plus. damn. this is bad. but the show's nice though. it's somewhat touching and inspirational at certain times. i don't know man. it's kinda sad to see that boon is dead. somehow everyone on the plane is inter-connected with each other in a way or two. or at least it's like everyone's crossed each other's path before whether knowingly or unknowingly. pay attention to the small details in the show and you'd be amazed.
yes. as i was saying. i was out to collect my medical report. nothing interesting happened on my way there. just pretty normal. well, this time around i got my directions pretty well. i've finally figured out how to read the darn map and all. so i didn't waste too much time over there at ntu. just got the report and got a letter from the school and i was buzzing off. ah. then on the bus trip back to the mrt, noticed something pretty much interesting. it was a rainy afternoon over at boon lay and i was sittin on the front seat of the double decker bus. saw this father crossing the road with his toddler then there was this malay motorcyclist who stopped at the traffic light. as the toddler was walking/hopping past the malay guy, the malay guy sticked out his tongue and i almost wanted to laugh man. it was like so comical yet heartwarming nonetheless. it really is man. somehow the whole scene just seemed like a scene from a movie to me. just imagine, you on the bus and witnessing all of what i saw. ah ok this is getting crappy.
oh then as i was watching lost last night, a stupid cockroach had to infiltrate my room. man. it was flying some more. that totally freaked me out man. it was such a turn-off. luckily it sneaked outta my room after figuring out there ain't food of any kind inside here. been kinda undecided about joining my hall camp. it's like from the 19th to the 23rd. that's like so awfully sucky man. i was plannin to go shopping on the 23rd. and camps of this kind are such a turn off. might be i'll just fuck it once again and just carry on with this life of mine.
destiny or match.com? hmm. love, in my freaked out opinion, is a game of chance. so what if it's fated that you do get to meet such a splendid person but you ain't gonna take the initiative or whatsoever. i don't really like the word destiny cos i believe i shape my destiny. i ain't gonna blame things on destiny cos things didn't work out the way it should. that's such a lame excuse. so to sum things up, love: wait and see. haha.
-forgot my name at 11:20 AM
saw this rather interesting post made by my friend on friendster. just thought i'd share it with you guys.
Message: reasons why women choose to be single...
1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW,WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?
"Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."
-forgot my name at 9:05 PM
to hell with you and all your friends.
man. today's just gonna be such a good day. why? cos i'm loving what i see in the mirror today man. haha. i'm such a narcissistic piece of shit.
-forgot my name at 1:38 PM
and we all fall down.
man. this is dumb. i was doing a lazy stretch and i actually pulled a muscle on my right shoulder. now i'm feeling this tight sensation at certain positions. dumb. a rainy lazy day for me. i'm even lazy to go and collect my medical report. wondering if i could get others to go and get the report for me. ain't possible i suppose. grrr. gotta get my ass down to boon lay then come home. gonna be falling sick again i think. somehow i'm coughing for no particular reason. i'm such a bummer. oh but my pull ups improved again i think. yup. that's good in a way. ah gonna have my lunch then get cracking.
-forgot my name at 1:14 PM
so long and goodnight.
man. the days to start of school are just getting closer and closer. getting a lil bit scary already. i've forgotten all the shit that i've studied back then. i'm just so busted as usual. haha. gonna be going down to ntu again to collect my medical report. pretty efficient huh. considering that i did my checkup on thursday. but the time for collecting the report is like dumb. they asked me to collect it at 4pm. which is like in the middle of nowhere. that's like how fucked up. i'll probably just get my ass down to get the report then head right back home. nothing in particular i wanna do. gotta get my stuff sorted out for my student's pass application. man. gonna hafta start packing up for hostel too. who the fuck is my roommate. argh.
-forgot my name at 12:41 AM
why do you fill my sorrow.
man. i just watched ep17 of lost. damn i almost almost cried while watching the show man. it was pretty pretty touching i must say. the relationship between the korean couple is kinda how should i put it...erm...touching. haha. well, at least i've got a better clue about the show for now. the most important idea of the whole thing is probably: everyone gets a new life on this island. oh yeah and pay attention to what locke says all the time when you watch the show. he's the man. (",)
-forgot my name at 2:08 AM
tonight we ride to fight.
man. i just love this song. especially the bridge part of the song. it's totally intoxicating. for those of you who are online on msn and who are on my list, did you notice how long this song's been playing? i just keep playing it over and over again man. when i first listened to this song i thought it was pretty garage rock and all cos it sounded pretty weird with a female vocal. but after listening through the song, it pretty much rock my world. for this moment at least.
thanks for making my day. you know who you are. the one who brought a smile upon my face. thanks a lot. =) i really appreciated that. no i'm not acting weird. haha.
-forgot my name at 11:24 PM
in your honour.
ah i remember. haha. i was watching the last 22 laps for the british grand prix just now. pretty cool. ah montoya's won his first grand prix this year and i've just sorta updated myself on the constructors' championship. renault's broke the 100 barrier already and mclaren-mercedes is trailing behind followed by ferrari. he deserved to win today. alonso just couldn't close the gap and montoya widened his lead till he led by about 14 sec. that's awesome man. schumacher's still eatin dirt at the 6th place followed by his fellow ferrarian barichello.
shall blog again later. i'm outta stuff to blog bout again. grrr. my stomach's feeling weird.
-forgot my name at 10:53 PM
i've got another confession to make.
man. i forgot what i was gonna blog about. it was still on my mind before i went for dinner. damn.
-forgot my name at 10:24 PM
the ghost of you.
i'm really kinda in a sorta shock right now. cos i'm a bit overwhelmed by what i'm hearing. two of my mum's friend passed away just this week alone. one of them was a nice lady whom i seldom talk to but she's pretty nice and all. passed away due to cancer. my mum just went to her funeral this morning to send her off. i thought it was pretty sad already that people around my mum's age could just pass away so suddenly and all. we just came home from sunday grocery shopping and we just heard that another of my parent's friend passed away. someone whom has watched me grow up in a way. he's kinda a nice guy. a plump middle-age guy who always try to joke with me and would ask me about what i'm studying and all. i'm kinda sad by this cos maybe i've known him for a longer time than the lady. heard he was involved in an accident this morning. just all of a sudden man. just a couple of months back my mum's friend passed away in the bathroom just all of a sudden. that was real sudden cos we even chatted with her a couple of days prior to her death and it was real sudden. man. life is just so fragile. i'd hate to think this way but i suppose someday the day will come when it's my parent's turn. i don't know how i'm gonna be taking all this. so god bless us all.
-forgot my name at 5:09 PM
The Forecast - These Lights
Have you ever seen stars like these,
with a night like this.
Wishin it could last for weeks.
And I'm convinced that soon you'll see,
these summer leaves turn to a winter breeze.
I will show you the country and all its secrets.
Like why these lights,
burn out so quick.
I will show you the country and all its secrets.
Like why these lights,
burn out so quick.
Have you ever seen roads like these,
with a sky so bright from the western light.
And I've foreseen a new family,
forged from blood and bone,
just off the coast.
So put a record on they say it soothes the soul,
and takes us back in time,
when we walked in fields of gold.
With the radio playing these random hits,
we'll move onto a western view.
I will show you the country and all its secrets.
Like why these lights,
burn out so quick.
I will show you the country and all its secrets.
Like why these lights,
burn out so quick.
I will show you the country and all its secrets.
Like why these lights,
burn out so quick.
I will show you the country.
Tonight we ride to fight.
We'll drop our heads real slow to the ground (Tonight we ride to fight),
that's frozen cold and breathe it in (Tonight we ride to fight),
and move our limbs to make those wings (Tonight we ride to fight),
begin again and wait and see (Tonight we ride to fight),
what tomorrow brings (Tonight we ride to fight),
and we will feast and fight and tell tales of hangmen heroes lovers and pawns.
another song that rocks my world at this point of time.
-forgot my name at 12:55 PM
Foo Fighters - Best Of You
I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break
Holdin' you
Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
Your trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...
Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh...
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
Your trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new
Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
Your trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...
oh my god. this song fucking rocks my house at this moment. i've been looping it a zillion times already since the morning. dave grohl is way cool man.
-forgot my name at 12:22 PM
we try to avoid it.
man. i was totally knocked out yesterday night i had no idea why. went to sleep at around 4 and i just slept all the way till 1pm. haven't slept till so late for a very long long long time. i'm just very tired and i still am right now. so out of energy man. ain't done nothing much useful today. just helped out a lil here and there but there was this uncle whose shop was nearby and he came over to talk to me while my parents were out. we kinda talked about a lotta stuff. pretty cool. from the bombings in london to ancient china history. i learnt a lot of stuff from him i realized. got to know more about all those china history. he's pretty educated although he ain't really gotten himself a degree or whatsoever. said that he was educated back in china so he knew things pretty well and he's been through a lot of stuff so it's pretty insightful to talk to someone like him. there's always something to be learnt from everyone around. =)
i deleted my saved games for morrowind and i'm starting from scratch again. why? i'm so pissed off cos i did something that didn't allow me to do so many other quests that i wanted to do and my saved games were overwritten so i decided to start all over again. i ain't gonna settle for something less than perfect. =)
-forgot my name at 1:33 AM
sail with me into the setting sun.
hmm. ok. i was gonna talk about this talk-show programme on channel u at 8.30. it's an interesting programme in my opinions cos you won't see all those professionals giving a whole lotta model answers to a lot of problems posed on the show. what you would see is just what the guests feel about the issues and it's more closer to real life in a way. so it's all pretty cool.
today's topic was kinda about three generations living together under one roof. a pretty interesting topic to talk about cos this whole concept is pretty rare these days. 15 minutes into the show and i already felt like giving all the teenagers there two tight slaps across the face and shoving my hockey stick up their asses. it's kinda sad actually to know that people around my age are all beginning to think this way. maybe i'm still being all too traditional or conservative or whatever freak you might wanna see me as. basically the unanimous view amongst the teen speakers was like an absolute no-no towards the concept of three generations living together under one roof. it ain't their view that pissed me off actually. it's the reasons they give to support their stand that totally makes me wanna chainsaw them into bits and pieces. they can name all sorts of problems old people could bring about with them like constant naggings, generation gap, no common topic to talk about, always falling sick, fighting with them over what shows to watch on tv, likes to talk about their younger days and speak from experiences and all kinds of dumbest reasons you could ever think of.
it's like the most obvious message that they are trying to put across through everything that they've said is basically: i'm an educated young adult and i don't need uneducated old fogeys like you to teach me about what i should do and what i shouldn't do. so this is what the education system has done to people over the years. yes, they can be clever. but they will never be wise. all these self-centered pieces of crap. it's really saddening to know that they're actually feeling this way and all. i find it absolutely revolting to even look at their faces as they speak cos it's shit that's coming out of their mouth. they haven't the slightest idea about what the concept of family is about. all they could think of is how important they are and how people around them should change just to accomodate what they are thinking and all. i'd say fuck them man. one of the bitches over there actually made a concluding statement saying: if my grandfather go learn break-dancing then i wouldn't mind living under the same roof with him. who the fuck does she think she is bitch? does she even have the slightest idea about what respect is all about? instead of wanting others to accomodate her, why don't she take the first step to learning tai-chi or even chinese chess? can't do so huh. muthafucker.
i'm sorry i got so agitated. but i really do feel totally hopeless for them man. maybe it's because of my family background and all. it's more of like a kampong life in a way. whereby the idea of everyone living together under one roof is just natural for all of us. it's just something that i feel i must do. after all that my parents have done for me. i'd have to say i can totally relate to whatever the Qian Hu guy was talking about in the show. i suppose his family background's pretty much like mine in a way. a whole lotta kampong lifestyle so i totally agree with him on almost all issues. man. i really hope not all the girls in singapore feel the same way as those bitches do man. that is one of the most important thing that i look out for man.
-forgot my name at 2:59 AM
i've got a bad feeling about this.
i just got home bout half an hour ago after having supper with my three buddies. i'm kinda sad actually. my friend's taking the 10 o'clock plane at changi the next morning. man i'm so gonna miss him. it's all because of him that the bridge between all four of us has once again been established. that is just so awesome to me man. cos i really do wonder how it is we're all gonna be hanging out together someday. now that he's flying off, i'm afraid that the link would slowly be diminished just like last time but i suppose this time i'll try to keep the link going. maybe not as strongly but i'll try. friends are friends. and it's for life.
had supper at this cool malay stall in some ulu malay kampong. it's rather famous around here in jb actually. been hearing it for a long time but never had the chance to go there cos i ain't got no company to go with. it's like there aren't really seats around but like cubicles with straw mats and a table in the middle where everyone just sit around the table and chill. and the cool part is that they've built the things like two storeys so that you could choose to sit at the upper storey and with all the trees around, it almost looked like you're dining in a treehouse. so the whole concept's pretty cool. only ate fries and chicken wings so i can't comment much bout the food. but it's rather ex. it was a good experience though. nothing beats the company of course. =)
oh so what was i gonna blog about. grrr. i'm kinda sleepy again and my stomach's feeling bloated. can't figure out stuff well. did i mention that i've got my hostel thing? i'm gonna be staying in hall 5 and getting my medical report next tuesday. cool. i really really forgot what i was gonna say. i'll continue later on.
-forgot my name at 2:31 AM
dissolve and decay.
haha. a pretty fine day although it's like thundering outside at the moment. finally got the email from ntu which confirmed my application for hostel. fuck man. i got like hall 5. which is like far from my fac. damn. maybe the only consolation is that there's a bus stop just outside of the hall or something. man it's gonna be some damn long walk if i decide to walk for lessons or what. that sucks man. haha. everyone else seems to know their hostel postings today. argh i still ain't got no idea about my roomie. grrr. it's killing me.
oh and i finally saw fairly odd parents on tv once again. man it was funny. a totally hilarious cartoon that i absolutely adore. i don't know why but it's just full of a lot of nonsensical shit that makes me laugh out loud. what a beautiful start to a day. haha.
-forgot my name at 1:02 PM
hey let's have fun.
man. i had such an awesome day today. it somehow seemed like a very long day to me. maybe it is i don't know man. but it sure was great. absofuckinglutely great.
on my way out of house i heard the morning crew on Power98 FM. that's the only english radio station i would listen to these days. perfect 10 is like fuck these days. everyone's damn fake. all of them could kiss my ass goodbye. apparently the topic for discussion this morning was guys carrying those ladies' bag. or as the show would call it, man-purse or something like that. i can't really remember. i honestly don't think there's anything wrong with it man. i've really seen some malay guys who could pull it off damn well carrying that bag with a suitable attire without looking gayish at all. in fact, being metrosexual is pretty cool by my standards. that's why i think most gays have pretty great fashion sense. they dress to kill man. haha. oh yah. the male radio dj was like totally against that idea of course. maybe he just has to take some macho stand cos his other dj is a female. then they were like arguing heatedly about the issue at a certain point of time and the guy dj almost said the f word. that was like damn fucking funny. i was like listening to him making his point then suddenly there was a fff........ then silence. after that he said: i almost said the f word on radio. i just laughed out loud man. that was funny. this sorta thing never fails to make my day man. that was such a booster for a beautiful day.
went right down to ntu for the medical checkup which i mentioned yesterday. woke up by myself two minutes before the alarm on my handphone went off which was kinda amazing cos i thought i would just sleep till noon. it was kinda stupid actually. i woke up only to realize that why did i bother waking up so fricking early when i could go down at noon for the checkup maybe. argh but whatever since i'm awake i'd better get my ass changed. so i made my way down to ntu. a pretty cool journey venturing into ntu. brings back a lot of memories when i was going down the escalator at the boon lay mrt. the space just in front of the station control was the place we hockey people met up at to go for trainings on a few sessions. man i missed those days. those early trainings when everyone would slowly fall in and cursing about every single thing in the world and some would be busy hunting for places to buy kopi to wake themselves up. it was all funny and memorable. ah. those good old days. ok. back to the topic. fricking hell i don't know where i was supposed to get off for the bus in ntu so i just agar agar dropped at some convenient place where a lot of people got off. then i tried finding my way around to get to the student services centre but to no avail. fricking hell i never realized ntu was that complicated and did i mention big? i'm such a sucker at reading maps i realized. the map i read were like completely useless so i just used my gut instinct and walked all over the place. managed to find the office and got to the medical centre after trekking through the jungle for half an hour or so. man. i think the people at the student services centre are like completely fucked up. there's this buzzer thing at the counter which probably is there for like if-no-one-serves-you-please-press-me. and apparently there's this auntie whose desk is very near the counter and she saw me but she didn't even give a fuck. after standin around for about 10 hours (ok i'm exaggerating) she looked at me and said: press the buzzer. fuck you. if you can see me why don't you bother walking two steps up to me and see what i want. how fucking lazy can middle-age office aunties get man. knn. i'm just so awfully disappointed.
medical checkup was pretty hectic. as in in the clinic itself. damn lots of people. no babes. no hunks. a lot of prcs and people of different nationalities. pretty lots of people in there waiting to do checkup but it was pretty efficient i would have to say. so no complaints about that. oh man and i shrunk by two fucking cm in my height. how could that be possible. haha. but i didn't gain any weight i suppose. considering the baggy jeans i was wearing and my wallet and handphone and all. still weigh pretty much the same. so that's pretty good. still looking good no worry. haha. medical checkup with the doc was like fast man. he just ask me a few questions here and there, take my blood pressure, fold my arms in weird positions and knock them with a hammer and then followed by my knees and ankles. i wonder what all those were for. then something i totally didn't expect came. he asked me to take off my pants and my boxers and flash at him. man. i wonder why i didn't feel awkward at all doing that. no i'm not a flasher. then he asked me to cough while he observes the way my balls dangle or something. if i'm not wrong it's some kind of smoker's test or something from what i've heard. ah but whatever. no big deal. i don't smoke and never will. haha. did urine test and they drew blood from my left arm which made my arm completely numb for like half an hour or so. disgusting. haha. after doing all those the nurses actually referred me to orchard to do my x-ray cos the clinic which they were referring everyone else to is getting pretty packed already so i have to go orchard whether i like it or not. i was like what the fuck? boon lay to orchard? argh whatever. haha.
went right down to orchard or to be specific orchard building (the california fitness that building) and went to one of the clinics upstairs to do the x-ray thing. supposed to be a chest x-ray which they probably wanna see if i have tuberculosis or something. by the time i reached it was like lunch time la. then went to get movie tickets for me and arthur to watch war of the world later on in the afternoon. so basically bummed around for an hour then went back to the clinic and it was like totally packed. kinda wasted a lot of time there waiting and waiting for my turn to do the x-ray thing also. but not bad. two hot chicks came in for similar checkups as mine too. one was particularly to my liking but as usual my balls did not expand enough for me to go and talk to her. so i was just like some geeky shit sitting at one corner reading a book whilst waiting. got everything done in bout 46 minutes. which was like 45 minutes of waiting and 1 minute spent on taking the x-ray of my chest. knn. oh man. i swear when i came out of the x-ray room and walked out of the clinic i saw the girl looking at me la. haha but i act cool and just walked on. ah maybe i was thinking too much. fuck it. let's move on.
met arthur for war of the world. i wanted to watch fantastic four but my darling wanted the other so no choice. it's a pretty shitty show by my standard. the only thing that is applaudable in the whole show is probably the way it depicts human nature at times of desperation. you seldom would see this sorta things in movies like these. the way human beings like you and me would behave just to fight for survival including killing or injuring others like nobody's business. that was particularly disturbing. but it's reality. that's the most likely scenario if ever such a thing really happened so i would give credits to the director and scriptwriter for it. you'd see the darkest side of human being and also the good side in a way. but the starting and ending's pretty crappy. so it's basically a shitty show. nowhere as good as independence day. maybe the computer animations are better but independence day still rock my world. the speech by the president. awesome!
oh and while i was waiting in the clinic with nothing better to do, i was like observing people around me. at a particular point of time there was this cute ntu senior who walked into the clinic and as he walked pass the girls who were around you could basically notice that gals would like secretly look at the guy as he walk right past and after that continue talking like no one realized. haha. it's just like so obvious to the other people around la. but maybe the guy himself doesn't realize that crap. the way gals do it is sooooo similar to how guys would do it. maybe a little more discreet. that's all. haha. interesting.
oh and i actually tried doing a bit of window shopping here and there during the lunch time break of the clinic and while waiting for arthur. it didn't really seem as bad as i last remembered. in fact, i thought i was enjoying it for today. pretty nice to just walk around and look at stuff at your own time own target. it was like you have all the time in the world which is rather true for my case. haha.
just when i thought my day was gonna end with a simple dinner with my family my malaysian buddies called me when i msged one of them sayin i was at the malaysian customs. they were like somewhere near that area already and they just came over to pick me up and we all went for dinner together. man. it's awesome to have friends like these man. met two other friends of my friends who were pretty friendly and we basically talked a lot of cork and all. i'm getting better at this kinda socialising i realized. there was no awkwardness at all and it was like all friends although i barely know the other two. it was pretty enjoyable. the food and the drinks and the laughters we had. man. my friend's gonna be flying back to australia on saturday. kinda sad that he's leaving so soon but he'll be back somewhere in november so hopefully i'll meet him again then. that's gonna be sooooo exciting. muahaha. i'll leave it at here cos i think i've gotten damn naggy. =)
-forgot my name at 12:23 AM
Rooster - Deep and Meaningless
I, I don't know why I miss you so much
Yeah I, I don't know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the question why
Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection
Chorus:
If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless
You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had
(Damn that's sad)
There are many things left to remind me
Of a love that I just can't leave behind me
Chorus (Repeat)
man. this song is nice. i'm just such a stereo freak. i love it when i hear nice songs booming on my speakers and all. but i guess i'm kinda a nuisance to my neighbour at times. really sorry bout that. probably i oughta sound proof this whole room and even the whole house. haha.
man. i just flipped through the whole admission package. basically not much shit to be done la. what's needed to be done i already completed them all. so it wasn't as bad as i thought it was gonna be. then i saw these two pamphlets talking bout some sorta malaysian orientation for freshmen. haha. i almost laughed out loud i don't know why. yes i'm a malaysia but i'm sure i know singapore pretty well. it's like so crappy la. if i do go for that kinda orientation i might just die man. all the malaysian scholars and all. argh. somebody shoot me. haha. that's all for my orientation man. ain't got no more invites to any more orientations. haha. that's it. i'm gonna be some fucking loner on the first day of school with a fucked up face probably. haha. that's gonna be all so cool. what could be more exciting than to step into a brand new environment with nobody you know? haha. oh and i hope i don't get lost in ntu tomorrow. nah beh. i'm kinda like some directional idiot at times. haha. and stupid peng ming wrote some cork testimonial for me. that's like damn dumb. haha. what an ass. shall fuck his ass again when i see him on the pitch once more. muahaha.
-forgot my name at 12:58 AM
i can show you the country.
oh man. i'm feeling all damn shagged again today. how come. i really ain't done nothing for the past two days man. i'm barely awake although it's only 2345 now and i woke up today like almost one and it was my mum who woke me up. i could wake up by myself at like 1145 every morning automatically. damn. what's with me.
gotta wake up like muthafucking early tomorrow morning cos i wanna be there for checkup between 9-12 or something like that. it's probably gonna be the earliest i woke up ever since...exams are over. haha. i'm such a bummer. still got lots of details to fill in for the medical shit and some giro form and don't know what forms. everything's basically still intact in the envelope which it came in. i'm just too lazy to flip through everything and read through all of em. those deadlines are killing me. hmm. gotta fill in my medical history and all. guess i'll probably skip the back problem i have. ain't got no confirmation from any doc. but my tendonitis is bad. damn.
yeah got a couple of new songs on my comp. pretty cool. seems like i've been very much out of sync with my songs cos was spending too much time playing morrowind. man. i actually began to see the link in the game and a couple of books i've read. it's more or less about this race called the dunmers (or dark elves) and it's like pretty much similar to what the dark elf trilogy has been talking about. the social structure and the things etc. pretty cool. i just love the game.
oh and i read in the papers something bout the live 8 concert i was talking about. didn't really manage to watch the concert but i heard part of it through radio. seems like it's pretty much a rock concert with a lot of classic rockers like Pink Floyd and The Who and many others who actually came together to create an awareness towards the issue of poverty. it's pretty much targeted at the G8 meeting to let them know that poverty is still an issue waiting to be solved. honestly i do wonder how much help aid is gonna do to the third world countries who are in extreme poverty. aid alone doesn't do much good to the country. there has to be lots of other factors that is needed to help bring the country back up. you probably can read this on bbc. read it somewhere over there. yeah.
oh and i finally managed to get a hair band today. haha. i used to have one but i broke it a couple of weeks back while i was too excited watching tv. haha. bought the hair band from one old lady who was sitting along the road with a lot of stuff to sell. it's only one buck for one so i thought i should just buy it la. she's really old and seeing her doing all these things sorta makes my heart ache for her. ah shan't say more. i'll cry. haha.
-forgot my name at 11:41 PM
glittering wax butterflies.
man. i've been feeling so lethargic for the whole of today. just keep yawning non -top like how a goldfish would open and shut its mouth to gasp for air. that's like so pathetic. guess it must be that i didn't sleep well last night. had a dream. or was it two dreams. i can't really remember. i think i dreamt then i got woken up by my mum. then i slept and dreamt again. that's why i'm so tired. ain't gotten a peaceful night sleeping.
oh and the medical checkup day is fast approaching. kinda excited cos i ain't done any shit like that before. i wonder what they'd ask me to do. they're gonna be drawing my blood for sure. for the hiv test. argh. haha. it ain't that i'm scared of needles or whatsoever. it's just that needles doesn't turn me on baby. gotta decide what time i'm gonna be going down to ntu so that i won't be like arriving there at lunch time and i have to wait like two fucking hours for them. oh and supposedly thursday is meant for mechanical engineering students to do their checkup so might be i'll get to see the people whom i'll be seeing in the same lecture group. haha. pretty cool. gotta go to the office to ask them some stuff about other application details like tuition grant, giro, student's pass etc. a tedious day that would be. oh man. and when i do submit the application for student's pass it probably means i gonna hafta find somewhere to stay in singapore cos i'd hafta submit my passport too. damn. that's gonna be another problem. grrr.
-forgot my name at 1:47 AM
the bitch of everyone.
haha. what the fuck man. i'm like suddenly awake. for no particular reason la. oh i was saying the commercials. it really is interesting la. might be you people ought to catch some someday. even though you might not understand malay, the weird sounds they make sometimes are like funny. and there was actually this government sponsored ad on tv quite some time back. it actually depicts a scene on the mrt (yes there is mrt in malaysia too. kl to be exact.) and it was like damn freaking crowded on the train. then this pregnant chinese lady got on the train and there were no seats available. there was this malay guy who wasn't asleep but had his briefcase on his lap then the moment he saw the pregnant lady he pretended to be asleep and totally ignored the lady in front of him. the indian lady beside the malay stood up and offered the seat to the pregnant lady and the malay guy still pretended to be asleep but peeped over his shoulder occasionally. at the next stop, a blind malay guy came on the train. nobody offered to give up his seat to the blind man and the malay guy pretended to be asleep once again. then it was the pregnant lady who offered her seat to the blind old man. yup. that's all for the story. then at the end of it all there was this message that sorta encourages people to be polite and do give up their seats to people who need it that kinda crap. apparently this ad sparked off a lot of debates in the local newspaper. why? because the person who pretended to be asleep was a malay guy and not an indian nor a chinese. a whole lotta people wrote in to complain about it and questioned the authority why they used a malay as that role and said it would cast a bad light upon the race. then there was this opposing view written by an educated malay in the newspaper that i can remember till date. he/she said: just because it was a malay that was depicted, many wrote in to complain and even asked for the commercial to be banned. so would they rather the role be played by a chinese or an indian then they would be happy? what is important is not the race of the character playing that specific role but the fact that we should reflect upon ourselves whether we are guilty of doing the same thing. he is just so spot on about this thing isn't it. i really liked what he said cos racial tension is always there in malaysia whether you like it or not. although people don't really openly talk bout such things but you could feel the instability amongst the different races. people are just not able to set aside their differences and celebrate what we have in common. this is the country that i live in. let's just hope it gets better. haha. i'm sounding all so serious. damn. i think there's something else that i wanna blog about but i can't remember what. i was thinking bout this before i slept last night. grrr.
-forgot my name at 2:36 AM
come with your arms raised high.
just gotten a couple of tracks from my chemical romance's previous album which was released in 2002. honestly speaking, that album didn't really cut it. the few tracks that i heard was pretty average and were very much similar to this other band called the used. their new album is totally different. all you need is one album to breakthrough from the stereotypes that critics have given you and you're gonna be kicking asses overnight. that's pretty cool man.
oh and i keep forgetting to talk about this. it's just something i've noticed and it's really worth mentioning. ah i'm really sleepy at this moment. my brain's really kinda dead. taking forever and ever to type this whole entry. ok let's get back to the point. seems to me that singapore pretty much lacks creative people in the advertising business. in one whole year there ain't many commercials that would make you laugh out loud and actually remember the commercial or whatever product it's trying to sell. not that i favour malaysia in this aspect but speaking from a neutral point of view, commercials in malaysia are pretty much more entertaining than the ones on mediacorp tv. maybe it's because they've managed to find a lot of cute malay guys who could really act cute and spastic at the same time. haha. i can't continue on man. my brain's really dead. i'll just leave it at here.
-forgot my name at 2:18 AM
what would you do.
man. the most incredible stuff actually happened to me for two days in a row. never in my two fucking years of playing neopets did i get something called a 'paint brush' which is like extremely rare in the game itself. yesterday i was like playing this thing called the 'fruit machine' then i won my first ever 'disco paint brush' then today i was damn bored so i decided to play this game called 'test your strength' then i actually got into the top 100 list of high score and i received a 'halloween paint brush'. man. i was like totally ecstatic once again. for two days i'm on such fucking luck la. how come i don't see myself winning toto or 4d. fucked up.
-forgot my name at 1:05 AM
a thousand miles.
haha. everytime i hear this song i'll get reminded of the scene in white chicks. the nigger singing to the song with the damn freaking gay expression on his face. haha. it's totally hilarious man. that show is like damn funny. i simply love all these kinda gay ass shit.
oh ain't got much to talk about today actually. just rot around here and there and rearranged my books on my bookshelves. pretty cool. there are like darn lots of mosquitoes inhabiting in my bedroom la. like when i move this particular sofa chair in my room, about a zillion mosquitoes would start flying around. then i whipped out a racket-looking-thing that has electric current passing through the metallic wiring and grilled all those mosquitoes. it was totally fulfilling man. told ya i was gonna grill those bastards alive some day. my dad's still trying to fix up the air-con in my bedroom so hopefully i'll be able to get my bedroom back by this week. gonna be moving this comp into my bedroom so it's gonna be cool i suppose. but i'm afraid i might be camping even more in my room and leaving my family by themselves. ah ok i'll try not to be anti-social and try to spend more time with them. gonna be moving into hostel then i won't be able to spend as much time as i like with them so i'll just treasure every moment from now on. (",)
ah thursday is fast approaching. gotta go do my medical checkup at ntu and have to do some sorta HIV and Tuberculosis test. man. what if i fail the HIV test? haha. i'm thinking a tad too much.
-forgot my name at 11:34 PM
sunday bloody sunday.
haha. what a topic. can't believe i actually came up with that crap. nah. i had a pretty awesome sunday today although it was basically just slacking around doing nothing for the most part. the first thing i woke up today i know that it's gonna be a great sunday. why? simply because i had such a good sleep the night before. no i did not have any wet dreams with some supermodel in it. i basically had a very very very very peaceful sleep. maybe i was dead tired cos i slept too little on friday night and walked all over the place on saturday. but i really liked it. to be in such deep slumber and feel all so free of all my cares and all. not that i'm particularly troubled by anything but i just fell asleep the moment i lay on my bed and woke up to a bright and sunny sunday with breakfast all ready on the dining table. what more could you expect for a start to a sunday morning.
nothing else really mattered for the rest of the day. a beautiful start to the day won't have any crappy endings. i'm honoured to have someone mentioning me on her blog. it really gladdens me to know that she actually read word for word in my entries and that she really cares. i'm touched. but i ain't gonna cry. haha. oh and btw, i ain't really enthusiastic about uni life. i'm just calm and composed about it. just basically gonna tackle whatever shit comes my way. i'm just sooooo confident bout my life at this point of time.
-forgot my name at 4:03 AM
don't phunk with my hearth.
just a couple of days back my friend was like telling me that my posts these couple of days doesn't seem to be that "heavy" anymore. it used to have some sorta gloomy atmosphere around but it's gettin more cheerful in a way. that's good news actually. i ain't noticed no difference till she brought it up to me. pretty cool. i suppose she's right in a way. i could feel my confidence level rising once again. i'm back to the egoistic bitch i was once again. call me whatever you want cos i ain't gonna give a damn bout it. i'm far more superior than you pathetic earthlings. muahaha.
maybe it's because the lonely mood ain't around me no more. not that i've found company or anything. but it somehow feels as if my life's so much more fulfilling and enriching these days although i've been pretty much doing the same things over the past couple of months. the whole feeling just ain't the same anymore. i could sit around at home doing virtually nothing and yet still feel so good about myself and the life that i'm having. as i would put it, i have come to terms with my mundane life. or as rob thomas would sing it, i don't wanna be lonely no more. but rob thomas is gay. i loved him as the rob thomas in matchbox twenty. never as the solo singer he is now. ok i'm digressing. maybe it's cos uni life is starting soon for me and there's pretty much something to look forward to and i could actually start counting down. there's still medical checkup to be done and student pass to be applied and gonna have to move my stuff to the hostel once i've been issued the key. so it's pretty cool. there's a whole new life waiting for the same old me.
somehow i feel that my parents do know what is going on in my life in a way. of course they do. i never doubted their intelligence. i never did tell them previously that i was involved in a relationship. but they sorta get the drift from what i've been doing etc. they never did ask me bout it anyway. they don't really approve of bgr at this stage but i don't think there's much that they can do bout it. i'm too bad-tempered to really be bothered bout what they think. and of course, i do think that they know that my previous relationship has ended a long time back. they never did ask me that again. haha. they basically never ask anything about what i do. i tell them what i would like them to know. i'm telling them more and more i realized. that's good in a way. communication has gotta be both ways. someone has to start. so why not me. i wanna close the gap between my parents and me so i'm beginning to like tell them more and more bout my friends. cos i want them to know who my friends are so they'd be less worried bout me and also get to know me better in a way.
oh i was going to get to the point. was sorta like having this conversation about my friends in the car with my parents. somehow we were talking bout stuff like i seem to know a lot of rich man's son or something like that. then i realized that is true in a way. a lotta close friends around me are pretty well-off and that's good in my own opinion. friends are important to me. not only as friends but as a form of networking i would say. as my dad has told me previously, everyone in the world is making use of one another in a way to satisfy their own desires. it is true in a way. i agree with his remarks but that doesn't mean i doubt the sincerity of the friendships that i've established thus far. it ain't so. it's just that both statements are valid. making use of one another ain't really in the sinister sort of way but like...argh i don't know how to put it across. hope you do get my drift. many of the friends around me are business-minded cos of their family background and that is so similar to mine and i do so believe each and every one of them could prove to be a real help in my future endeavours. what would life be like without you guys around man.
oh and after talking damn lots of cork about the rich kids around me the topic sorta got shifted to rich gals that i know of. apparently there ain't none in particular that i know of. come on man. i know so fucking limited number of girls then my dad was like saying something like go and woo some 千金小姐 or something then life would be so much easier. i was like laughing man. that was so funny and my mum was like nodding her head in approval. haha. but the statement makes sense in a way man. where the fuck am i gonna find such a girl. haha. apparently these days they're kinda worried about me staying at home far too often. i could feel it although they ain't said nothing about it. seems like they're pretty worried about me staying single for fear of me turning gay or something as from what they've seen in all those sappy dramas on tv. my mum has been especially worried about my haircut these days. she keeps asking me to go and cut my hair every couple of days. she even offered to like sponsor me 100 bucks to go to those high-class salons to have a better hairstyle or something like that. it's like so totally funny. it's just so unlike of her to give so much of a damn about how i look but she seems pretty concerned recently. i honestly don't really give that much of a fuck about how i look compared to like one year ago. i really don't know why but i'm more of like whatever these days. i don't even care if my hair is totally messed up or what. haha. i'm confident bout how i look so i can carry it off well no matter what. that's as far as i believe. haha. so sue me for being such an egoistic punk ass shit.
haha oh and my fellow blogger has mentioned something bout speaking proper english. just kinda inspired to talk bout something here too bout the same stuff. haha. i realized my bestie has got like an australian accent when he speaks english. that sounds completely weird in a way to me. ain't never expected him to talk like that in english. he sounds completely half-malaysian half-singaporean when he speaks in chinese but i was stunned when he used aussie slangs like 'cheers' to replace 'thanks' . i wonder where he learnt that from. haha. but that's cool. haha. i still think it's funny. ok. i realized i've been tryin to speak or rather type in proper english on msn and also when i blog. i seem to have gotten out of the lah leh loh thing sometime back i don't know why. even in my conversations i don't usually come up with those things. words like la would come out in conversations like 'fuck you la' or 'don't like that la' that sorta thing. haha. ok that sounds gay. haha. even my parents don't use a lot of lahs and all that i realized. hmm. pretty cool. haha. whoever cares. being yourself is all that matters. if i'm comfortable with whatever way i'm talking, fuck you and all your opinions.
oh and i saw this thing on my fellow blogger's entry. the 'ive stolen your heart' thing. haha. i think i do understand what the poor fellow's trying to say to the girl. it's just another way of saying 'i fell in love with you but you ain't reciprocating my love and i'm-feeling-all-so-shit-up-so-could-you-please-tell-me-things-that-i-want-to-hear'. haha. oh man i can't believe i came up with this shit. come on guys. don't deny it. this is what you are trying to put across when you do say such a thing isn't it. who says only girls are good at this kinda word games. we pricks can do the same too man.
oh man and all the pull ups i've been doing recently doesn't seem to be improving much man. the max i can do now is like eleven. which is like one more than that time when i first mounted the bar on my doorway. haha. i always try to do my max whenever i get on it. always been staying at like 7 or 8 for the next four or five sets after doing one set of 10. not sure if it's useful but i do feel good when i am able to pull myself up. so whoever cares. haha. i could feel my chest once again so that's all i care.
oh and i realized there are actually quite a number of guy friends around me who are pretty much against the idea of pre-marital sex and are willing to hold on to the idea that they're gonna give their first time to their wife only. that's pretty cool. i do so hold them in awe for that actually. might be i oughta do the same thing. might be i won't be able to find that girl in my life. haha. i'm thinking too much. but i'm pretty much convinced that pre-marital sex ain't all that good. well it ain't that it ain't good but just that it won't be appropriate. cos it could bring in a whole lotta other problems in a simple relationship so that wouldn't be nice. seems like my view of getting into a relationship has pretty much changed. it ain't all about finding that special someone whom you could fall in love with everyday but more of like finding that partner who could help you in the things that you would be doing and being there for you when you require so. it ain't all gonna be all the lovey dovey shit but more of the practical stuff like living together and all i suppose. haha. i'm thinking too much again. hahaha. this ain't getting nowhere. i'm off before you people shoot me. this entry has gotten a bit too fucking long.
-forgot my name at 7:25 PM
Taking Back Sunday - New American Classic
"We've got to get better."
I said, "It's all in your head."
We could live through these letters
Or forget it all together.
See the months they don't matter.
It's the days I can't take
When the hours move to minutes and I'm seconds away.
Just ask the question.
Come untie the knot.
Say you won't care,
Say you won't care.
Retrace the steps
As if we forgot.
Say you won't care,
Say you won't care.
We try to avoid it,
But there's not a doubt,
And there's one thing I can do nothing about.
Well all that we need is just a reaction,
It's too much to ask for when there's no attraction anymore
If chasing our dreams is just a distraction,
I want to remember when I know that I can't go back.
Just ask the question.
Come untie the knot.
Say you won't care,
Say you won't care.
Retrace the steps
As if we forgot.
Say you won't care,
Say you won't care.
We try to avoid it (Try to avoid it),
But there's not a doubt,
And there's one thing I can do nothing,
There's one thing I can do nothing,
There's one thing I can do nothing about.
(Finally)
Just ask the question (Just ask the question).
Come untie the knot.
Say you won't care,
Say you won't care.
And retrace the steps (Retrace the steps)
As if we forgot.
Say you won't care.
Say you won't care.
We try to avoid it (Try to avoid it),
But there's not a doubt
And there's one thing I can do nothing,
There's one thing I can do nothing,
There's one thing I can do nothing about.
man. i realized i haven't been lazy and posted any song lyrics over here. i'm just kinda touched by this song i don't have any fucking reasons why. i'm like singing out loud. haha. oh and while i was driving just now i heard the live broadcast of the Live 8 over radio. it's so touching to know that so many musicians in the world are putting in the efforts to help the starving children all over the world. i was so touched that i thought i almost cried la but my mum was beside me so i acted cool and steady. haha. i am really touched.
oh and i heard over radio that apparently howie day received a facsimile machine for his birthday and he was like ecstatic (i finally got it right) over it. then seacrest said something like "it's the simple things in life that makes us happy. facsimiles." i thought that was pretty funny and touching in a way. the simple things.
-forgot my name at 6:59 PM
you're so last summer.
man. just got home after one freaking hectic day in a way. haha but i love the company and all that we've done today man. it was totally stunning that my friend got into some sorta accident early in the morning. his car was still fine and running last night when he sent me home but today, the bumper of the car is dangling and the left front light is totally gone and the car is lopsided. haha. it's like his second accident in two weeks man. his car just got repaired and immediately he's got himself into another accident just along the road near his place. damn corked up. luckily one of the guys amongst us four is actually into this sorta car spare parts business and it's pretty big i assume. so the parts is no problem for my friend just that everything inclusive of compensation to the other party would cost bout 1k ringgit in all.
then we went right out to singapore after settling all that car business. headed right down to the temple at si ma lu to pray cos my friend says he's been really down on luck recently so why not. all of us went there cos it was on the way to go to sim lim too. oh actually all four of us have known each other since like primary 1 and the guy who was involved in the accident, i knew him when i was in kindergarten la! it's been a damn freaking long time man. after that shopped around at sim lim but apparently none of us bought any crap.
then went down to town to buy this shirt that the spare part guy has been eyeing for a long long time. it's actually some sorta jacket or blazer kind that's sold at U2. i was rather tempted to buy too cos after trying it on i thought i looked darn good in it la. it totally complements my inner beauty with my external charm. haha. but i held back buying it. my bestie bought an identical one as the other guy's cos he'd be wearing it in aussie so no prob at all. oh man. and i must say that today was really an eye-opener for me man. first time i actually see someone my age using a platinum credit card to pay for something and to carry a Burberry leather bag that i-wonder-cost-how-much around. haha. my bestie's just so one of a kind man. he doesn't know how much that costs him cos his mum bought it for him and he's got like two other LV wallets or something. that's too fucking high class for me man. ain't never gonna be able to part with that kinda money to buy that kinda stuff. haha but you could never tell that his family's like so rich cos he's ever so humble and down-to-earth in a whole lotta aspects. he doesn't really splurge on anything and is meticulous about his spendings. that's nice man. i love that.
came back to jb for dinner or maybe i should say supper cos we ate at like eleven plus after taking a cab back to my friend's house so he could use his BMW to drive us around to look for the makan places. woah i had like one of the best those barbecued or grilled sting ray here in jb man. and the rojak was like excellent too. had so much to eat i think i'm gonna become like so fucking fat can. i just love the feeling of talking a lot of cork in your friend's car as we drive about from places to places looking for food to eat or just driving around for nothing in particular. haha. man i love you guys.
-forgot my name at 1:27 AM
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