name: zesin.
loves: life, music, photography.
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doppelganger.
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.: dith :.
.: ming :.
.: sancia :.
.: huixian :.
.: renrong :.
.: yuzhong :.
.: siaowen :.
.: jiaquan :.
.: ah teck :.
.: chewy :.
.: justin :.
.: jing :.
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.: archive :.
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11.2002 12.2002 01.2003 02.2003 03.2003 04.2003 06.2003 07.2003 08.2003 09.2003 11.2003 12.2003 09.2004 10.2004 01.2005 02.2005 03.2005 04.2005 05.2005 06.2005 07.2005 08.2005 09.2005 10.2005 11.2005 12.2005 01.2006 02.2006 03.2006 04.2006 05.2006 06.2006 07.2006 08.2006 09.2006 10.2006 11.2006 12.2006 01.2007 02.2007 03.2007 04.2007 05.2007 06.2007 07.2007 08.2007 09.2007 10.2007 11.2007 12.2007 01.2008 02.2008 03.2008 04.2008 05.2008 06.2008 07.2008 08.2008 09.2008 10.2008 11.2008 01.2009 02.2009 03.2009 04.2009 07.2009 12.2009 01.2010 04.2010
loves: life, music, photography.
- - - - - - - -
doppelganger.
- - - - - - - -
.: contact :.
- - - - - - - -
.: myspace :.
.: facebook :.
.: friendster :.
- - - - - - - -
.: reads :.
- - - - - - - -
.: dith :.
.: ming :.
.: sancia :.
.: huixian :.
.: renrong :.
.: yuzhong :.
.: siaowen :.
.: jiaquan :.
.: ah teck :.
.: chewy :.
.: justin :.
.: jing :.
- - - - - - - -
.: archive :.
- - - - - - - -
11.2002 12.2002 01.2003 02.2003 03.2003 04.2003 06.2003 07.2003 08.2003 09.2003 11.2003 12.2003 09.2004 10.2004 01.2005 02.2005 03.2005 04.2005 05.2005 06.2005 07.2005 08.2005 09.2005 10.2005 11.2005 12.2005 01.2006 02.2006 03.2006 04.2006 05.2006 06.2006 07.2006 08.2006 09.2006 10.2006 11.2006 12.2006 01.2007 02.2007 03.2007 04.2007 05.2007 06.2007 07.2007 08.2007 09.2007 10.2007 11.2007 12.2007 01.2008 02.2008 03.2008 04.2008 05.2008 06.2008 07.2008 08.2008 09.2008 10.2008 11.2008 01.2009 02.2009 03.2009 04.2009 07.2009 12.2009 01.2010 04.2010
be strong.
-forgot my name at 6:55 PM
it is nice to keep the entries short and all cos i ain't too specific with my thoughts and it leaves a lot of room for imagination for the readers. oh and why the sudden change of style i was saying. cos i realised that this blog has been gaining much more readers than it used to and it just ain't my intention for it to be so. yes i do know i can't stop people from reading whatever shit i type over here and i should jolly well be aware of it right from the start. but i just don't like so many people who barely know me to be knowing so much bout my fucking life in a way. my original intention was just to have somewhere to pen down my thoughts but well, i guess i don't have much of a choice now do i.
life's not been pretty good for me recently. kinda stressed out in a way. been craving for an escape, or a holiday from whatever that is haunting me, but still i get none. it's hard to keep a straight face when you feel your heart being stabbed repeatedly by a knife you can't see. i'm very tired, of chasing after you, chasing after your shadow. it's all too tiring when you're always running. there's so much i wish i could've done. but i can't. i can't bring myself to. yes. it's just not the same no more.
ah just to sidetrack a lil. i do know about the rumours about me going on behind my back all these while. probably some might be saying that i'm a "player", i honestly am flattered by that. i am. you all don't even know what i've been through, what i'm going through. so be it. back to the topic.
wait. what back to the topic. what topic? haha this is just a post of my blabberings. i don't know if it's me sinking into solitude or is it really getting harder to find people to talk to about this kinda things. maybe i should just do like someone told me, to set a deadline for myself. to stop waiting for nothing to happen. if only i could. thank you for your attention.
-forgot my name at 1:57 AM
it's been a long time since i featured any songs on my blog. finally found one that's apt for the moment.
Fort Minor - Where'd You Go
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
She said "Some days I feel like shit,Some days I wanna quit, and just being normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself trying to stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me and I feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Come back home...
You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbeque up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once in a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I 'm planin' to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find you have somethin' to say,
And I'm tellin' you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
-forgot my name at 1:53 AM
the stars will cry the blackest tear tonight.
-forgot my name at 12:22 PM
Question: How do you know when it is love?
Answer: When you feel your heart aching each time you're disappointed.
Question: How do you know when it is not love?
Answer: When you no longer feel any heartaches for any disappointments.
-forgot my name at 6:14 PM
-forgot my name at 4:41 PM
viewers are blind man. snoopy is out of the super band competition. what kinda breakthrough do they expect from a rock band man. what crap.
-forgot my name at 12:22 AM
no es amor?
-forgot my name at 5:22 PM
yes, it's official. i'm so fucking out of mood. anyone interested to buy my maple account? check it out here. http://www.ebay.com.sg/viItem?ItemId=104751506597
-forgot my name at 11:15 PM
-forgot my name at 10:15 AM
-forgot my name at 1:13 AM
let all be fine. bless my family.
-forgot my name at 2:19 AM
since it's the world cup fever all over, i'll just talk about it a lil here. the team i'm supporting is brazil. ok pj's gonna shoot me once again with 'that's so loser. supporting the winning team.' or some shit like that.
lemme just explain something here. basically why i support them started bout 12 years ago when i started to develop fragmented memories of the things i've done. i didn't know much about soccer anyway. i just thought that the brazil flag looked the coolest amongst all the countries who were in the world cup back then and thus began my support and liking for the brazillian team.
it's sorta the same as to why i'm a liverpool supporter. not because they've got an excellent coach or a nice stadium or because steven gerrard is such a fantabulous player. it all started with me thinking the name looked kinda cool and the red jersey with carlsberg logo on it looked nice. and that was when i was still in primary school.
i guess some things we do we don't really need a reason for doing. it's just like why some people love parsley while others flee at the sight of it. ok. lousy analogy. but you get my point.
-forgot my name at 3:46 AM
watched a movie in my summer class. it's some sorta german movie or was it french i can't remember. anyway the movie's called: As It Is In Heaven.
there's this particular scenario whereby the wife of the pastor got so fed up with her husband's suppressed behaviour that she said: the church invented the so-called sin. there is no sin. the church hands out sin with one hand and hands out forgiveness with the other.
this is an interesting statement that i can still remember even after three or four weeks? haha. just something to ponder about.
-forgot my name at 11:48 PM
seriously sometimes i think it's no point wishing about this and that. i do so believe we have a choice in whatever we do and attending the choice theory class this summer merely strengthens my belief.
yes, a lot of things in life we may fear, what matters most is whether we are determined enough to take the first step to overcome that fear.
-forgot my name at 1:54 AM
getting drunk ain't a good feeling. first you can't walk straight, then you puke, then you puke, and you puke all over yourself then you get knocked out. lol. if i try hard to recall, the last time i went to a club before this was...jason's birthday last year. lol.
-forgot my name at 1:50 AM
-forgot my name at 6:55 PM
it seems a long time since i've changed my style of blogging. i used to blog on and on about this and that. it's a very irritating style of blogging i must admit, with the small fonts, white font in black background and the irritating mouse cursor thingy. people have complained that it's hard to read but that's not the main reason why i tend ot keep my entries short and sweet these days.
it is nice to keep the entries short and all cos i ain't too specific with my thoughts and it leaves a lot of room for imagination for the readers. oh and why the sudden change of style i was saying. cos i realised that this blog has been gaining much more readers than it used to and it just ain't my intention for it to be so. yes i do know i can't stop people from reading whatever shit i type over here and i should jolly well be aware of it right from the start. but i just don't like so many people who barely know me to be knowing so much bout my fucking life in a way. my original intention was just to have somewhere to pen down my thoughts but well, i guess i don't have much of a choice now do i.
life's not been pretty good for me recently. kinda stressed out in a way. been craving for an escape, or a holiday from whatever that is haunting me, but still i get none. it's hard to keep a straight face when you feel your heart being stabbed repeatedly by a knife you can't see. i'm very tired, of chasing after you, chasing after your shadow. it's all too tiring when you're always running. there's so much i wish i could've done. but i can't. i can't bring myself to. yes. it's just not the same no more.
ah just to sidetrack a lil. i do know about the rumours about me going on behind my back all these while. probably some might be saying that i'm a "player", i honestly am flattered by that. i am. you all don't even know what i've been through, what i'm going through. so be it. back to the topic.
wait. what back to the topic. what topic? haha this is just a post of my blabberings. i don't know if it's me sinking into solitude or is it really getting harder to find people to talk to about this kinda things. maybe i should just do like someone told me, to set a deadline for myself. to stop waiting for nothing to happen. if only i could. thank you for your attention.
-forgot my name at 1:57 AM
it's been a long time since i featured any songs on my blog. finally found one that's apt for the moment.
Fort Minor - Where'd You Go
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
She said "Some days I feel like shit,Some days I wanna quit, and just being normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself trying to stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me and I feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Come back home...
You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbeque up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once in a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I 'm planin' to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find you have somethin' to say,
And I'm tellin' you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
-forgot my name at 1:53 AM
the stars will cry the blackest tear tonight.
-forgot my name at 12:22 PM
Question: How do you know when it is love?
Answer: When you feel your heart aching each time you're disappointed.
Question: How do you know when it is not love?
Answer: When you no longer feel any heartaches for any disappointments.
-forgot my name at 6:14 PM
even though i hate the idea of karaoke, i do sing at times too. screaming at the top of my lungs to the rock songs makes me a lot calmer inside.
-forgot my name at 4:41 PM
viewers are blind man. snoopy is out of the super band competition. what kinda breakthrough do they expect from a rock band man. what crap.
-forgot my name at 12:22 AM
no es amor?
-forgot my name at 5:22 PM
yes, it's official. i'm so fucking out of mood. anyone interested to buy my maple account? check it out here. http://www.ebay.com.sg/viItem?ItemId=104751506597
-forgot my name at 11:15 PM
life's about making choices. yes. i do have a choice too.
-forgot my name at 10:15 AM
tears upon my pillow.
-forgot my name at 1:13 AM
let all be fine. bless my family.
-forgot my name at 2:19 AM
since it's the world cup fever all over, i'll just talk about it a lil here. the team i'm supporting is brazil. ok pj's gonna shoot me once again with 'that's so loser. supporting the winning team.' or some shit like that.
lemme just explain something here. basically why i support them started bout 12 years ago when i started to develop fragmented memories of the things i've done. i didn't know much about soccer anyway. i just thought that the brazil flag looked the coolest amongst all the countries who were in the world cup back then and thus began my support and liking for the brazillian team.
it's sorta the same as to why i'm a liverpool supporter. not because they've got an excellent coach or a nice stadium or because steven gerrard is such a fantabulous player. it all started with me thinking the name looked kinda cool and the red jersey with carlsberg logo on it looked nice. and that was when i was still in primary school.
i guess some things we do we don't really need a reason for doing. it's just like why some people love parsley while others flee at the sight of it. ok. lousy analogy. but you get my point.
-forgot my name at 3:46 AM
watched a movie in my summer class. it's some sorta german movie or was it french i can't remember. anyway the movie's called: As It Is In Heaven.
there's this particular scenario whereby the wife of the pastor got so fed up with her husband's suppressed behaviour that she said: the church invented the so-called sin. there is no sin. the church hands out sin with one hand and hands out forgiveness with the other.
this is an interesting statement that i can still remember even after three or four weeks? haha. just something to ponder about.
-forgot my name at 11:48 PM
seriously sometimes i think it's no point wishing about this and that. i do so believe we have a choice in whatever we do and attending the choice theory class this summer merely strengthens my belief.
yes, a lot of things in life we may fear, what matters most is whether we are determined enough to take the first step to overcome that fear.
-forgot my name at 1:54 AM
for the first time in my life, i got drunk. it was at jason's birthday party. although it was just a simple gathering and drinking session rather than a birthday party, everything just felt really good. haven't met the group of guys for almost half a year i must say and boy it sure felt good to see and talk and drink with them once again.
getting drunk ain't a good feeling. first you can't walk straight, then you puke, then you puke, and you puke all over yourself then you get knocked out. lol. if i try hard to recall, the last time i went to a club before this was...jason's birthday last year. lol.
-forgot my name at 1:50 AM
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