name: zesin.
loves: life, music, photography.
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doppelganger.
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.: contact :.
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.: myspace :.
.: facebook :.
.: friendster :.
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.: reads :.
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.: dith :.
.: ming :.
.: sancia :.
.: huixian :.
.: renrong :.
.: yuzhong :.
.: siaowen :.
.: jiaquan :.
.: ah teck :.
.: chewy :.
.: justin :.
.: jing :.
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.: archive :.
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11.2002 12.2002 01.2003 02.2003 03.2003 04.2003 06.2003 07.2003 08.2003 09.2003 11.2003 12.2003 09.2004 10.2004 01.2005 02.2005 03.2005 04.2005 05.2005 06.2005 07.2005 08.2005 09.2005 10.2005 11.2005 12.2005 01.2006 02.2006 03.2006 04.2006 05.2006 06.2006 07.2006 08.2006 09.2006 10.2006 11.2006 12.2006 01.2007 02.2007 03.2007 04.2007 05.2007 06.2007 07.2007 08.2007 09.2007 10.2007 11.2007 12.2007 01.2008 02.2008 03.2008 04.2008 05.2008 06.2008 07.2008 08.2008 09.2008 10.2008 11.2008 01.2009 02.2009 03.2009 04.2009 07.2009 12.2009 01.2010 04.2010
loves: life, music, photography.
- - - - - - - -
doppelganger.
- - - - - - - -
.: contact :.
- - - - - - - -
.: myspace :.
.: facebook :.
.: friendster :.
- - - - - - - -
.: reads :.
- - - - - - - -
.: dith :.
.: ming :.
.: sancia :.
.: huixian :.
.: renrong :.
.: yuzhong :.
.: siaowen :.
.: jiaquan :.
.: ah teck :.
.: chewy :.
.: justin :.
.: jing :.
- - - - - - - -
.: archive :.
- - - - - - - -
11.2002 12.2002 01.2003 02.2003 03.2003 04.2003 06.2003 07.2003 08.2003 09.2003 11.2003 12.2003 09.2004 10.2004 01.2005 02.2005 03.2005 04.2005 05.2005 06.2005 07.2005 08.2005 09.2005 10.2005 11.2005 12.2005 01.2006 02.2006 03.2006 04.2006 05.2006 06.2006 07.2006 08.2006 09.2006 10.2006 11.2006 12.2006 01.2007 02.2007 03.2007 04.2007 05.2007 06.2007 07.2007 08.2007 09.2007 10.2007 11.2007 12.2007 01.2008 02.2008 03.2008 04.2008 05.2008 06.2008 07.2008 08.2008 09.2008 10.2008 11.2008 01.2009 02.2009 03.2009 04.2009 07.2009 12.2009 01.2010 04.2010
for the first time in many years, i actually bothered to walk to the sections where they put up books on astrology and zodiacs. i picked up a zodiac guide and started reading while waiting for my friends.
most of it was bullcrap i would say, yet some of it struck some chord within me. there was a part in the book which says scorpios tend to get their heart broken early in life, after which these scars would never fully heal and how these areas would eventually heal and harden over time to protect him/herself from being hurt again.
just how do i go about tearing down these invisible walls of you and me.
-forgot my name at 11:46 PM
A: are you sure?!
Me: yah.
A: wait. are you very very sure?
Me: yah.
A: i'm stunned.
:)
-forgot my name at 2:43 PM
heartbreaking.
:~(
-forgot my name at 10:58 PM
a lot of things have changed around amk central area, lots of new shops and new buildings. oh well, the wheel of time.
i wonder if i'm in a good mood today or i'm just plain hungry cos after eating a bowl of bak chor mee, i ordered another plate of fried rice and finished it all. lol. it was satisfying of course and this week is just turning out to be much better than the last.
by the way, welcome back justin! i hope i see ya soon :)
-forgot my name at 12:04 AM
hmm. i wonder how come i've not blogged for a couple of days. i thought it didn't seem that long.
lots of thoughts have been running through my mind these days but it's mostly about the same stuff. work has been really fine although i don't feel i can really learn a lot of stuff related to what i've been studying. that's cool with me cos it's always nice to learn something new. it widens your knowledge and all so yeap i ain't really troubled about my work. it's been 3 weeks and i haven't once woken up at 6 in the morning thinking: why the fuck must i go to work? :)
most of the thoughts are other thoughts which i don't feel comfortable sharing it over here but i might just share it if you ask me personally. oh well.
here's something for you to ponder about:
So many people enter and leave your life! Hundreds of thousands of people! You have to keep the door open so they can come in! But it also means you have to let them go! - Mr Black (excerpt from Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close)
-forgot my name at 12:48 AM
why do i get fucked everywhere i turn.
every fucking where except for my job.
what seemed like simple instructions on sunday night could actually be giving me so much shit. muthafucker.
this shit is fucked.
and so is that shit.
sorry i'm just fucking pissed and have nowhere to vent my anger.
sometimes i just feel like breaking down and cry but there doesn't seem to be anything for me to cry for yet there is always something worth crying for.
i am trying to not dwell too much into things but it ain't easy to practise what you preach. i sound like a master, teacher, guru when i speak of it, yet when it happens to myself, i suck like everyone else.
here's a quote from the book:
It's a shame that we have to live, but it's a tragedy that we get to live only one life.
-forgot my name at 10:38 PM
it's a fine line between this and that.
-forgot my name at 9:12 PM
now i owe my mum 2k.
please let it be good.
-forgot my name at 11:29 PM
-forgot my name at 7:38 PM
i had a great day today. there was a beautiful sunrise to start it off and it ended off perfectly with a great date.
i'm making my presence felt, slowly but surely.
i ain't gonna get too optimistic bout it so let's just leave it at that :)
transformers is awesome. i'm wondering if i should watch it the second time. hmm. first time i had such thoughts about any movies i've watched so you should know how great this is. it totally wow-ed me off my seat every other minute. it definitely lived up to all the hype just like iPhone did. fantabulous.
-forgot my name at 2:37 AM
oh and what i meant by 'just what is wrong with this world' in my earlier post is that i actually meant it in the context like so what if you're a degree holder or a diploma holder or even a nobody.
holding a degree doesn't mean that you are better at managing people, running daily operations than others who don't have one. authority means nothing without the ability to perform.
a lotta people these days really have to start changing their mindsets and stop living 'up there' and start living 'down here'. i'll bet you a large proportion of people my age don't even know how to change a light bulb nor how to operate a drill. go figure.
-forgot my name at 8:38 PM
in case you haven't noticed, the correct way to pronounce my name is actually zeesin. i don't know why people like to say ze sin like tze sin. haha it doesn't really bother me cos it's just so hard to correct people over here people would naturally associate the name as some chinese character pronunciation. hence, the confusion.
i seriously don't have energy to correct those who call me tze sin cos it's practically everyone around me. till date, only my secondary 1 english teacher has managed to get it right without me telling her. that's really nice.
you guys can still continue calling me whichever way you like.
a name is what you know me by, a character is what you love me for ;)
-forgot my name at 8:29 PM
every other page is a heartbreaking confession. full of innocent questions from a 9 year old so sharp it pierces right through your heart. it really set me thinking about my life, my experiences so far. the way the author brings his message across is simply so raw, so dark, yet so beautiful.
ah maybe i'm just a sucker for the philosophical ideals bring forth.
-forgot my name at 8:23 PM
need i say more?
Anberlin - Inevitable
Do you remember when we were just kids
And cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss
Schoolyard conversations taken to heart
And laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not
I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)
For the rest of our lives
Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now
I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have
I wanna be your last, first kiss
Amazing how life turns out the way that it does
We end up hurting the worst, the only ones we really love
I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)
For the rest of our lives
Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now
I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have
I wanna be your last, first kiss
Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now
Is it over how hey, hey, it's not over now
I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have (that you'll ever have)
I wanna be your last, first love (that you'll ever have)
Till you're lying here beside me with arms and eyes open wide
I wanna be your last, first kiss for all time
-forgot my name at 11:35 PM
work is slowly coming in. yet i'm not sure how i should be managing the workers.
you really do learn a lot of things about life, about other people's lives when you're working at the lowest level. talking to the workers from the philippines, bangladesh, india and even malaysia. you really understand a whole lot more about their lives here in singapore.
let's just not discriminate against the bangladeshis and others. life ain't easy for them. imagine getting a pay of only S$900 a month; S$500 goes to paying the agents' fee, S$200 is remitted back to their home country, S$100 is spent on transport and the remaining is their allowance for food and etc.
i really don't see how i deserve the S$1.2k i'll be getting a month compared to the stuff they have to do for S$900 a month. my supervisor said something that's pretty interesting on our way out: you'll be a degree holder, you won't be doing that kind of jobs. you have to know how to manage the people under you and make them work for you.
just what is wrong with this world.
-forgot my name at 11:16 PM
i've not been able to get any photos of my workplace as of yet. cos photo taking is strictly prohibited in the refinery and any photos would require special permission to be granted by my supervisor. geez.
it doesn't seem easy to transcend the status quo. not easy at all.
work has been great so far :)
-forgot my name at 7:16 PM
most of it was bullcrap i would say, yet some of it struck some chord within me. there was a part in the book which says scorpios tend to get their heart broken early in life, after which these scars would never fully heal and how these areas would eventually heal and harden over time to protect him/herself from being hurt again.
just how do i go about tearing down these invisible walls of you and me.
-forgot my name at 11:46 PM
A: are you sure?!
Me: yah.
A: wait. are you very very sure?
Me: yah.
A: i'm stunned.
:)
-forgot my name at 2:43 PM
heartbreaking.
:~(
-forgot my name at 10:58 PM
yay!! dinner was good. i actually met up with dinesh and gang whom i haven't seen for a couple of weeks. no idea why i suddenly craved for bak chor mee so we met up at amk and it sure brings back a lot of memories of jc days.
a lot of things have changed around amk central area, lots of new shops and new buildings. oh well, the wheel of time.
i wonder if i'm in a good mood today or i'm just plain hungry cos after eating a bowl of bak chor mee, i ordered another plate of fried rice and finished it all. lol. it was satisfying of course and this week is just turning out to be much better than the last.
by the way, welcome back justin! i hope i see ya soon :)
-forgot my name at 12:04 AM
hmm. i wonder how come i've not blogged for a couple of days. i thought it didn't seem that long.
lots of thoughts have been running through my mind these days but it's mostly about the same stuff. work has been really fine although i don't feel i can really learn a lot of stuff related to what i've been studying. that's cool with me cos it's always nice to learn something new. it widens your knowledge and all so yeap i ain't really troubled about my work. it's been 3 weeks and i haven't once woken up at 6 in the morning thinking: why the fuck must i go to work? :)
most of the thoughts are other thoughts which i don't feel comfortable sharing it over here but i might just share it if you ask me personally. oh well.
here's something for you to ponder about:
So many people enter and leave your life! Hundreds of thousands of people! You have to keep the door open so they can come in! But it also means you have to let them go! - Mr Black (excerpt from Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close)
-forgot my name at 12:48 AM
why do i get fucked everywhere i turn.
every fucking where except for my job.
what seemed like simple instructions on sunday night could actually be giving me so much shit. muthafucker.
this shit is fucked.
and so is that shit.
sorry i'm just fucking pissed and have nowhere to vent my anger.
sometimes i just feel like breaking down and cry but there doesn't seem to be anything for me to cry for yet there is always something worth crying for.
i am trying to not dwell too much into things but it ain't easy to practise what you preach. i sound like a master, teacher, guru when i speak of it, yet when it happens to myself, i suck like everyone else.
here's a quote from the book:
It's a shame that we have to live, but it's a tragedy that we get to live only one life.
-forgot my name at 10:38 PM
it's a fine line between this and that.
-forgot my name at 9:12 PM
now i owe my mum 2k.
please let it be good.
-forgot my name at 11:29 PM
this feeling sucks ass :(
-forgot my name at 7:38 PM
i had a great day today. there was a beautiful sunrise to start it off and it ended off perfectly with a great date.
i'm making my presence felt, slowly but surely.
i ain't gonna get too optimistic bout it so let's just leave it at that :)
transformers is awesome. i'm wondering if i should watch it the second time. hmm. first time i had such thoughts about any movies i've watched so you should know how great this is. it totally wow-ed me off my seat every other minute. it definitely lived up to all the hype just like iPhone did. fantabulous.
-forgot my name at 2:37 AM
oh and what i meant by 'just what is wrong with this world' in my earlier post is that i actually meant it in the context like so what if you're a degree holder or a diploma holder or even a nobody.
holding a degree doesn't mean that you are better at managing people, running daily operations than others who don't have one. authority means nothing without the ability to perform.
a lotta people these days really have to start changing their mindsets and stop living 'up there' and start living 'down here'. i'll bet you a large proportion of people my age don't even know how to change a light bulb nor how to operate a drill. go figure.
-forgot my name at 8:38 PM
here's something interesting, when i introduce myself to people at my workplace, this is what i do: nice to meet you. i'm ze sin. you can call me zee.
in case you haven't noticed, the correct way to pronounce my name is actually zeesin. i don't know why people like to say ze sin like tze sin. haha it doesn't really bother me cos it's just so hard to correct people over here people would naturally associate the name as some chinese character pronunciation. hence, the confusion.
i seriously don't have energy to correct those who call me tze sin cos it's practically everyone around me. till date, only my secondary 1 english teacher has managed to get it right without me telling her. that's really nice.
you guys can still continue calling me whichever way you like.
a name is what you know me by, a character is what you love me for ;)
-forgot my name at 8:29 PM
it's been a long time since a book has touched me the way this one did. it's titled 'Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close'.
every other page is a heartbreaking confession. full of innocent questions from a 9 year old so sharp it pierces right through your heart. it really set me thinking about my life, my experiences so far. the way the author brings his message across is simply so raw, so dark, yet so beautiful.
ah maybe i'm just a sucker for the philosophical ideals bring forth.
-forgot my name at 8:23 PM
need i say more?
Anberlin - Inevitable
Do you remember when we were just kids
And cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss
Schoolyard conversations taken to heart
And laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not
I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)
For the rest of our lives
Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now
I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have
I wanna be your last, first kiss
Amazing how life turns out the way that it does
We end up hurting the worst, the only ones we really love
I wanna break every clock
The hands of time could never move again
We could stay in this moment (stay in this moment)
For the rest of our lives
Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now
I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have
I wanna be your last, first kiss
Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now
Is it over how hey, hey, it's not over now
I wanna be your last, first kiss
That you'll ever have (that you'll ever have)
I wanna be your last, first love (that you'll ever have)
Till you're lying here beside me with arms and eyes open wide
I wanna be your last, first kiss for all time
-forgot my name at 11:35 PM
it's like a whirlwind inside of my head.
work is slowly coming in. yet i'm not sure how i should be managing the workers.
you really do learn a lot of things about life, about other people's lives when you're working at the lowest level. talking to the workers from the philippines, bangladesh, india and even malaysia. you really understand a whole lot more about their lives here in singapore.
let's just not discriminate against the bangladeshis and others. life ain't easy for them. imagine getting a pay of only S$900 a month; S$500 goes to paying the agents' fee, S$200 is remitted back to their home country, S$100 is spent on transport and the remaining is their allowance for food and etc.
i really don't see how i deserve the S$1.2k i'll be getting a month compared to the stuff they have to do for S$900 a month. my supervisor said something that's pretty interesting on our way out: you'll be a degree holder, you won't be doing that kind of jobs. you have to know how to manage the people under you and make them work for you.
just what is wrong with this world.
-forgot my name at 11:16 PM
i've not been able to get any photos of my workplace as of yet. cos photo taking is strictly prohibited in the refinery and any photos would require special permission to be granted by my supervisor. geez.
it doesn't seem easy to transcend the status quo. not easy at all.
work has been great so far :)
-forgot my name at 7:16 PM
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