name: zesin.
loves: life, music, photography.
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doppelganger.
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.: contact :.
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.: myspace :.
.: facebook :.
.: friendster :.
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.: reads :.
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.: dith :.
.: ming :.
.: sancia :.
.: huixian :.
.: renrong :.
.: yuzhong :.
.: siaowen :.
.: jiaquan :.
.: ah teck :.
.: chewy :.
.: justin :.
.: jing :.
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.: archive :.
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11.2002 12.2002 01.2003 02.2003 03.2003 04.2003 06.2003 07.2003 08.2003 09.2003 11.2003 12.2003 09.2004 10.2004 01.2005 02.2005 03.2005 04.2005 05.2005 06.2005 07.2005 08.2005 09.2005 10.2005 11.2005 12.2005 01.2006 02.2006 03.2006 04.2006 05.2006 06.2006 07.2006 08.2006 09.2006 10.2006 11.2006 12.2006 01.2007 02.2007 03.2007 04.2007 05.2007 06.2007 07.2007 08.2007 09.2007 10.2007 11.2007 12.2007 01.2008 02.2008 03.2008 04.2008 05.2008 06.2008 07.2008 08.2008 09.2008 10.2008 11.2008 01.2009 02.2009 03.2009 04.2009 07.2009 12.2009 01.2010 04.2010
loves: life, music, photography.
- - - - - - - -
doppelganger.
- - - - - - - -
.: contact :.
- - - - - - - -
.: myspace :.
.: facebook :.
.: friendster :.
- - - - - - - -
.: reads :.
- - - - - - - -
.: dith :.
.: ming :.
.: sancia :.
.: huixian :.
.: renrong :.
.: yuzhong :.
.: siaowen :.
.: jiaquan :.
.: ah teck :.
.: chewy :.
.: justin :.
.: jing :.
- - - - - - - -
.: archive :.
- - - - - - - -
11.2002 12.2002 01.2003 02.2003 03.2003 04.2003 06.2003 07.2003 08.2003 09.2003 11.2003 12.2003 09.2004 10.2004 01.2005 02.2005 03.2005 04.2005 05.2005 06.2005 07.2005 08.2005 09.2005 10.2005 11.2005 12.2005 01.2006 02.2006 03.2006 04.2006 05.2006 06.2006 07.2006 08.2006 09.2006 10.2006 11.2006 12.2006 01.2007 02.2007 03.2007 04.2007 05.2007 06.2007 07.2007 08.2007 09.2007 10.2007 11.2007 12.2007 01.2008 02.2008 03.2008 04.2008 05.2008 06.2008 07.2008 08.2008 09.2008 10.2008 11.2008 01.2009 02.2009 03.2009 04.2009 07.2009 12.2009 01.2010 04.2010
You are sad because they abandon you and you have not fallen. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin
-forgot my name at 1:07 AM
that's kinda what i feel it is now.
-forgot my name at 1:05 AM
cos i don't think that they'd understand.
when everything's made to be broken,
i just want you to know who i am.
i don't know why the fuck i'm drinking so much. it's at least 3 cans every night before i can think it's good to sleep. there's no helping it. i don't wanna think so much at work everyday and booze seems to be only option out of it. this is bad.
real bad.
-forgot my name at 12:52 AM
seriously, nothing beats boozing.
i'm starting to get so resistant that it takes 3 pints to get me sedated. god damn it. i need to start drinking cheap fucked up beer for a change.
and thanks pj for the booze session. what's a booze session without getting all emo and divulging all those teeny weeny secrets you'd never say otherwise. i really appreciate your advice.
i hope it sinks in by the time i wake up.
-forgot my name at 12:49 AM
i have enough booze buddy.
i just don't have enough money.
-forgot my name at 11:23 PM
like i was telling pj. i was feeling too calm yesterday it seems like it's calm before the storm and indeed the storm arrived today.
yes, i probably am over-reacting to all of these shit but somehow hearing all these words from you brought me back to reality. like how nothing is for sure and things could always end up either way. i ain't as strong as i thought i would be. angst, emo and depression just got the better of me. the sting just felt like it was yesterday and i could still feel the pain. right there in the chest. yeah i could play on and try to be the gentleman but i seriously wonder if i'm ready to face the consequences. it ain't as simple as crying like fuck this time around i suppose.
the pain is so real i could hardly breathe but i'm glad i had two friends whom i could talk to to alleviate some of the angst. this whole situation is getting so out of hand that i've resorted to abusing alcohol for the first time. my dinner's 3 cans of heineken although i wish i had more in my fridge. i seriously need more than those 3 to totally knock me out to give me a good sleep. at least for tonight. hopefully i'd be able to sort out my thoughts the time i wake up on the morrow.
i seriously can't see history repeat itself again. i'm not strong enough for things like these. i'm not as strong as i seem to be. not in this aspect. i know the rules of the game fucking well, yet i do not know if i have the balls to carry on playing. yes, i do understand your rationale behind all of these. do you understand how hard it is for me? i don't think i can take any more surprises in my life. not the same kind. don't.
i'm off to sleep. i hope i wake up only when it's time for work.
-forgot my name at 7:58 PM
i really need to cut down on my spendings :(
near 3k in 3 months. haiz.
-forgot my name at 1:33 PM
From The Unbearable Lightness of Being:
We can never know what we want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nore compare it in our lives to come.
-forgot my name at 10:52 PM
Dad: If one day a plane picks you up and drops you in the middle of the Sahara Desert and you moved a grain of sand in the Desert, what have you done?
Dad: You have changed the world.
-forgot my name at 10:46 PM
excessive alcohol sucks ass.
must've drank like 3 jugs of beer, a flaming lambo and topping it off with the graveyard.
stomach and body's feeling like crap for the whole day.
urgh.
-forgot my name at 1:11 AM
despite the imminent recession, i'm feeling happy that it's finally here. simply cos i had been telling a lot of people that it would come during the 2nd half of 2007. whoopass.
-forgot my name at 10:24 PM
We sell a dream, we don't sell a means of transport - Mr di Montezemolo, Enzo Ferrari
-forgot my name at 10:08 PM
that's how working life is? that's how inefficient and ignorant you all are. seriously i expected much more from someone of a higher management level.
-forgot my name at 9:38 PM
-forgot my name at 9:36 PM
I don't care if what you think I am is really what I am. What you think I am is way more important than what i really am. - John Anthony Frusciante, Guitarist, Red Hot Chili Peppers
-forgot my name at 10:06 PM
best dream i had in a long long time :)
what a pity it had to end though.
-forgot my name at 10:31 AM
who knew.
-forgot my name at 12:56 AM
it's only been like two weeks yet it feels like it's been more than a month.
nothing's changed. not for the better. the worst? i do not know.
-forgot my name at 11:51 PM
faith. hope. love.
time. truth. hearts.
it's nice to see people whom you know blogging again. at least it gives me something to do when i'm alone in hall with not much of a shit to do.
i've come to a realization that i've actually run out of things to blog about. i remember those days when my blog entries would blabber on and on with regards to myself; my opinions of this world and how i perceive the world vice versa. to think about it, that was a period of finding myself i guess. to know who i am and what i am supposed to do in this blurry world.
i remember reading something that goes: it's when we have found ourselves at a young age that we tend to end up lost in life'. how true that is, i cannot tell.
sometimes i want to believe in fate, yet i try so hard to fight it.
urgh. damn emo.
-forgot my name at 10:12 PM
yay! retail therapy kicks ass! :)
finally got the top 2 things on my list of things to buy.
still got hell lots of stuff that i wanna buy but i guess it'll hafta wait till next payday before i end up spending 1k like last month. oh well.
-forgot my name at 12:33 AM
moooooody.
nothing has happened. or maybe i imagined something happened which has thus resulted in this mood of mine for the past few days.
what's truth and what's reality?
everything's getting blurry.
and i'm feeling tired.
maybe it's just a phase.
-forgot my name at 10:31 PM
i'm wondering if it's still too early to dive in. it sucks when your company computer blocks access to all sites like channelnewsasia and SGX. sucks ass.
-forgot my name at 10:12 PM
-forgot my name at 1:07 AM
What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
that's kinda what i feel it is now.
-forgot my name at 1:05 AM
and i don't want the world to see me,
cos i don't think that they'd understand.
when everything's made to be broken,
i just want you to know who i am.
i don't know why the fuck i'm drinking so much. it's at least 3 cans every night before i can think it's good to sleep. there's no helping it. i don't wanna think so much at work everyday and booze seems to be only option out of it. this is bad.
real bad.
-forgot my name at 12:52 AM
seriously, nothing beats boozing.
i'm starting to get so resistant that it takes 3 pints to get me sedated. god damn it. i need to start drinking cheap fucked up beer for a change.
and thanks pj for the booze session. what's a booze session without getting all emo and divulging all those teeny weeny secrets you'd never say otherwise. i really appreciate your advice.
i hope it sinks in by the time i wake up.
-forgot my name at 12:49 AM
i have enough booze buddy.
i just don't have enough money.
-forgot my name at 11:23 PM
like i was telling pj. i was feeling too calm yesterday it seems like it's calm before the storm and indeed the storm arrived today.
yes, i probably am over-reacting to all of these shit but somehow hearing all these words from you brought me back to reality. like how nothing is for sure and things could always end up either way. i ain't as strong as i thought i would be. angst, emo and depression just got the better of me. the sting just felt like it was yesterday and i could still feel the pain. right there in the chest. yeah i could play on and try to be the gentleman but i seriously wonder if i'm ready to face the consequences. it ain't as simple as crying like fuck this time around i suppose.
the pain is so real i could hardly breathe but i'm glad i had two friends whom i could talk to to alleviate some of the angst. this whole situation is getting so out of hand that i've resorted to abusing alcohol for the first time. my dinner's 3 cans of heineken although i wish i had more in my fridge. i seriously need more than those 3 to totally knock me out to give me a good sleep. at least for tonight. hopefully i'd be able to sort out my thoughts the time i wake up on the morrow.
i seriously can't see history repeat itself again. i'm not strong enough for things like these. i'm not as strong as i seem to be. not in this aspect. i know the rules of the game fucking well, yet i do not know if i have the balls to carry on playing. yes, i do understand your rationale behind all of these. do you understand how hard it is for me? i don't think i can take any more surprises in my life. not the same kind. don't.
i'm off to sleep. i hope i wake up only when it's time for work.
-forgot my name at 7:58 PM
i really need to cut down on my spendings :(
near 3k in 3 months. haiz.
-forgot my name at 1:33 PM
From The Unbearable Lightness of Being:
We can never know what we want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nore compare it in our lives to come.
-forgot my name at 10:52 PM
here's something i read from 'Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close':
Dad: If one day a plane picks you up and drops you in the middle of the Sahara Desert and you moved a grain of sand in the Desert, what have you done?
Dad: You have changed the world.
-forgot my name at 10:46 PM
excessive alcohol sucks ass.
must've drank like 3 jugs of beer, a flaming lambo and topping it off with the graveyard.
stomach and body's feeling like crap for the whole day.
urgh.
-forgot my name at 1:11 AM
despite the imminent recession, i'm feeling happy that it's finally here. simply cos i had been telling a lot of people that it would come during the 2nd half of 2007. whoopass.
-forgot my name at 10:24 PM
We sell a dream, we don't sell a means of transport - Mr di Montezemolo, Enzo Ferrari
-forgot my name at 10:08 PM
fucking red tapes and bureaucracy. i'd hate to say this but i've seen firsthand how ineffeciencies go rampant in a large corporation. the failure to make its staff learn the system thoroughly would only bring about more excuses and casualties.
that's how working life is? that's how inefficient and ignorant you all are. seriously i expected much more from someone of a higher management level.
-forgot my name at 9:38 PM
you can have a hundred and one reasons for liking something but you only need one to hate it.
-forgot my name at 9:36 PM
I don't care if what you think I am is really what I am. What you think I am is way more important than what i really am. - John Anthony Frusciante, Guitarist, Red Hot Chili Peppers
-forgot my name at 10:06 PM
best dream i had in a long long time :)
what a pity it had to end though.
-forgot my name at 10:31 AM
who knew.
-forgot my name at 12:56 AM
it's only been like two weeks yet it feels like it's been more than a month.
nothing's changed. not for the better. the worst? i do not know.
-forgot my name at 11:51 PM
faith. hope. love.
time. truth. hearts.
it's nice to see people whom you know blogging again. at least it gives me something to do when i'm alone in hall with not much of a shit to do.
i've come to a realization that i've actually run out of things to blog about. i remember those days when my blog entries would blabber on and on with regards to myself; my opinions of this world and how i perceive the world vice versa. to think about it, that was a period of finding myself i guess. to know who i am and what i am supposed to do in this blurry world.
i remember reading something that goes: it's when we have found ourselves at a young age that we tend to end up lost in life'. how true that is, i cannot tell.
sometimes i want to believe in fate, yet i try so hard to fight it.
urgh. damn emo.
-forgot my name at 10:12 PM
yay! retail therapy kicks ass! :)
finally got the top 2 things on my list of things to buy.
still got hell lots of stuff that i wanna buy but i guess it'll hafta wait till next payday before i end up spending 1k like last month. oh well.
-forgot my name at 12:33 AM
moooooody.
nothing has happened. or maybe i imagined something happened which has thus resulted in this mood of mine for the past few days.
what's truth and what's reality?
everything's getting blurry.
and i'm feeling tired.
maybe it's just a phase.
-forgot my name at 10:31 PM
the burst of the property and banking bubble perhaps?
i'm wondering if it's still too early to dive in. it sucks when your company computer blocks access to all sites like channelnewsasia and SGX. sucks ass.
-forgot my name at 10:12 PM
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