name: zesin.
loves: life, music, photography.
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doppelganger.
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.: contact :.
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.: myspace :.
.: facebook :.
.: friendster :.
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.: reads :.
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.: dith :.
.: ming :.
.: sancia :.
.: huixian :.
.: renrong :.
.: yuzhong :.
.: siaowen :.
.: jiaquan :.
.: ah teck :.
.: chewy :.
.: justin :.
.: jing :.
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.: archive :.
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11.2002 12.2002 01.2003 02.2003 03.2003 04.2003 06.2003 07.2003 08.2003 09.2003 11.2003 12.2003 09.2004 10.2004 01.2005 02.2005 03.2005 04.2005 05.2005 06.2005 07.2005 08.2005 09.2005 10.2005 11.2005 12.2005 01.2006 02.2006 03.2006 04.2006 05.2006 06.2006 07.2006 08.2006 09.2006 10.2006 11.2006 12.2006 01.2007 02.2007 03.2007 04.2007 05.2007 06.2007 07.2007 08.2007 09.2007 10.2007 11.2007 12.2007 01.2008 02.2008 03.2008 04.2008 05.2008 06.2008 07.2008 08.2008 09.2008 10.2008 11.2008 01.2009 02.2009 03.2009 04.2009 07.2009 12.2009 01.2010 04.2010
loves: life, music, photography.
- - - - - - - -
doppelganger.
- - - - - - - -
.: contact :.
- - - - - - - -
.: myspace :.
.: facebook :.
.: friendster :.
- - - - - - - -
.: reads :.
- - - - - - - -
.: dith :.
.: ming :.
.: sancia :.
.: huixian :.
.: renrong :.
.: yuzhong :.
.: siaowen :.
.: jiaquan :.
.: ah teck :.
.: chewy :.
.: justin :.
.: jing :.
- - - - - - - -
.: archive :.
- - - - - - - -
11.2002 12.2002 01.2003 02.2003 03.2003 04.2003 06.2003 07.2003 08.2003 09.2003 11.2003 12.2003 09.2004 10.2004 01.2005 02.2005 03.2005 04.2005 05.2005 06.2005 07.2005 08.2005 09.2005 10.2005 11.2005 12.2005 01.2006 02.2006 03.2006 04.2006 05.2006 06.2006 07.2006 08.2006 09.2006 10.2006 11.2006 12.2006 01.2007 02.2007 03.2007 04.2007 05.2007 06.2007 07.2007 08.2007 09.2007 10.2007 11.2007 12.2007 01.2008 02.2008 03.2008 04.2008 05.2008 06.2008 07.2008 08.2008 09.2008 10.2008 11.2008 01.2009 02.2009 03.2009 04.2009 07.2009 12.2009 01.2010 04.2010
A man is not as big as his belief in himself; he is as big as the number of persons who believe in him. - Woodrow Wilson
-forgot my name at 1:07 AM
i don't take failures, disappointments and defeats too hard yet rejection never comes easy.
probably everything's already so obvious yet i don't know why i'm still hanging on this thin thread.
please cut the noose and let it all shatter.
i'll clean up the pieces after that.
-forgot my name at 12:01 AM
seriously, i thought it was a good start to the week for not drinking and stuff.
in the end, i still averaged more than 5 pints a week. or should i say 2 days.
-forgot my name at 12:32 AM
sorry but i seriously can't do without beer. haha
something just seems to be lacking.
and i'm fucking procrastinating. sometimes i wish i weren't such a goody piece of crap. should've been a bastard right to the core.
-forgot my name at 12:13 AM
i really wanna play hockey to stop myself from boozing.
somehow, it always makes me feel better when i play hockey or think back at those days when i was playing hockey and pawning noobs. lol.
-forgot my name at 11:42 PM
it's just that when you drink, drinking one can or two cans is totally gay. you gotta drink till you get into the mood and then you're happier.
i'm turning into an alcoholic.
whoopee.
-forgot my name at 12:36 AM
where do i go from here.
-forgot my name at 11:50 AM
haiz i really wish amongst all the people who is asking me to not drink so much, not to smoke cigar, she could be one of them.
trust me, this is one of the few rare times you would have seen me wish for something.
-forgot my name at 1:29 AM
ah. stomach's feeling like fuck.
skipped dinner.
i should sleep soon.
my vertigo's coming back to haunt me again.
-forgot my name at 11:44 PM
no fucking dreams tonight please.
-forgot my name at 1:02 AM
of course topping it off with a live band and a cigar didn't seem that bad after all.
-forgot my name at 12:38 AM
i'm trying.
very hard.
to.
not.
think of you.
-forgot my name at 9:15 PM
maybe if i hadn't told you right from the beginning, things might have turned out differently.
maybe if i had just let things gone on as per normal, you would've let your guard down.
i'm fucking pathetic.
maybe and if. the two fucking most useless words ever invented.
i've even tried smoking for the fucking first time in my life. smoking a cigar. i guess weed would be next.
i'm turning into the man i'm desperately trying to avoid.
somebody save me.
-forgot my name at 11:29 PM
i could tell my colleagues sensed something wrong with my mood and all but they ain't known me well enough to be talking to me about any of it. it's really damn bad cos i don't even think i should be reflecting this kinda stuff at work. urgh.
at this point of time, i don't believe there's any point in me asking myself about what i have done wrong to be deserving this kinda treatment. there ain't nothing i've done wrong, yet that's the best option you have to deal with me.
i can only respect your wish and hope you the best in the meantime.
thanks and sorry for everything.
-forgot my name at 2:17 AM
seriously i'm damn sad.
yet every fucking thing else is going pretty smoothly that i have nothing much to complain about.
prof came over to assess my attachment thus far and had a talk with my sup. he told me he's impressed by what he's seen so far and my sup has definitely top rated me on his list.
yet everything feels so hollow.
it doesn't make no fucking sense no more.
life.
-forgot my name at 8:03 PM
i have the weirdest feeling that i'm being ignored.
-forgot my name at 9:59 PM
it is always cloudy and rainy and it changes faster than you could even shit your pants.
-forgot my name at 12:52 AM
there's a lot of things in my life that is worth rejoicing for.
yet, i'm not happy at this moment.
am i asking too much out of my life?
-forgot my name at 9:18 PM
woohoo. my new red chucks kicks ass!
but i still need a black one to add to the collection tho :)
-forgot my name at 7:19 PM
seriously, i'm damn touched and inspired somehow. for someone to be able to leave everything behind and do something he really loves, it ain't easy at all but he's accomplished so so much.
i love the kids from rwanda in the vid. they simply exuberate so much innocence and simplicity in their lives. so much so that they'd even find pleasure from dancing around with a stranger to nothing at all. these are the little things in life we'd never be able to see again in the kids in our society. the price to pay for progress.
-forgot my name at 2:06 AM
things weren't as bad as i thought.
maybe i'm really too fucking emo for my own good at times :)
-forgot my name at 3:20 AM
and all i wanted was to hear your voice.
-forgot my name at 11:04 PM
when your parents are overseas all the time, you tend to become an attention seeker.
-forgot my name at 10:34 PM
trying to not think so much about whatever is going on on the other side of the world. somehow i feel this is not what i wanna be, not what i wanna do, not what i wanna end up as again.
i've been a good boy this week. coming back from work and trying to squeeze in some shit into the logbook, go jogging, staying clear of booze.
yet, life can't be as simple as when you finish 3 pints.
maybe it's time.
-forgot my name at 9:57 PM
i hope i don't drink 4 out of 7 days for this coming week.
i don't even know what i should do.
-forgot my name at 11:47 PM
-forgot my name at 1:07 AM
i'm really too stubborn for the wrong things.
i don't take failures, disappointments and defeats too hard yet rejection never comes easy.
probably everything's already so obvious yet i don't know why i'm still hanging on this thin thread.
please cut the noose and let it all shatter.
i'll clean up the pieces after that.
-forgot my name at 12:01 AM
seriously, i thought it was a good start to the week for not drinking and stuff.
in the end, i still averaged more than 5 pints a week. or should i say 2 days.
-forgot my name at 12:32 AM
sorry but i seriously can't do without beer. haha
something just seems to be lacking.
and i'm fucking procrastinating. sometimes i wish i weren't such a goody piece of crap. should've been a bastard right to the core.
-forgot my name at 12:13 AM
i really wanna play hockey to stop myself from boozing.
somehow, it always makes me feel better when i play hockey or think back at those days when i was playing hockey and pawning noobs. lol.
-forgot my name at 11:42 PM
seriously, although i seem to be drinking a lot, or maybe i really am, it ain't because my life is so fucking miserable that i have to drink so much.
it's just that when you drink, drinking one can or two cans is totally gay. you gotta drink till you get into the mood and then you're happier.
i'm turning into an alcoholic.
whoopee.
-forgot my name at 12:36 AM
where do i go from here.
-forgot my name at 11:50 AM
haiz i really wish amongst all the people who is asking me to not drink so much, not to smoke cigar, she could be one of them.
trust me, this is one of the few rare times you would have seen me wish for something.
-forgot my name at 1:29 AM
ah. stomach's feeling like fuck.
skipped dinner.
i should sleep soon.
my vertigo's coming back to haunt me again.
-forgot my name at 11:44 PM
just one more thing.
no fucking dreams tonight please.
-forgot my name at 1:02 AM
nothing beats a good dinner with great german beer.
of course topping it off with a live band and a cigar didn't seem that bad after all.
-forgot my name at 12:38 AM
i'm trying.
very hard.
to.
not.
think of you.
-forgot my name at 9:15 PM
maybe if i hadn't told you right from the beginning, things might have turned out differently.
maybe if i had just let things gone on as per normal, you would've let your guard down.
i'm fucking pathetic.
maybe and if. the two fucking most useless words ever invented.
i've even tried smoking for the fucking first time in my life. smoking a cigar. i guess weed would be next.
i'm turning into the man i'm desperately trying to avoid.
somebody save me.
-forgot my name at 11:29 PM
i could tell my colleagues sensed something wrong with my mood and all but they ain't known me well enough to be talking to me about any of it. it's really damn bad cos i don't even think i should be reflecting this kinda stuff at work. urgh.
at this point of time, i don't believe there's any point in me asking myself about what i have done wrong to be deserving this kinda treatment. there ain't nothing i've done wrong, yet that's the best option you have to deal with me.
i can only respect your wish and hope you the best in the meantime.
thanks and sorry for everything.
-forgot my name at 2:17 AM
seriously i'm damn sad.
yet every fucking thing else is going pretty smoothly that i have nothing much to complain about.
prof came over to assess my attachment thus far and had a talk with my sup. he told me he's impressed by what he's seen so far and my sup has definitely top rated me on his list.
yet everything feels so hollow.
it doesn't make no fucking sense no more.
life.
-forgot my name at 8:03 PM
i have the weirdest feeling that i'm being ignored.
-forgot my name at 9:59 PM
seriously, my mood is like the weather these days.
it is always cloudy and rainy and it changes faster than you could even shit your pants.
-forgot my name at 12:52 AM
there's a lot of things in my life that is worth rejoicing for.
yet, i'm not happy at this moment.
am i asking too much out of my life?
-forgot my name at 9:18 PM
woohoo. my new red chucks kicks ass!
but i still need a black one to add to the collection tho :)
-forgot my name at 7:19 PM
seriously, i'm damn touched and inspired somehow. for someone to be able to leave everything behind and do something he really loves, it ain't easy at all but he's accomplished so so much.
i love the kids from rwanda in the vid. they simply exuberate so much innocence and simplicity in their lives. so much so that they'd even find pleasure from dancing around with a stranger to nothing at all. these are the little things in life we'd never be able to see again in the kids in our society. the price to pay for progress.
-forgot my name at 2:06 AM
things weren't as bad as i thought.
maybe i'm really too fucking emo for my own good at times :)
-forgot my name at 3:20 AM
and all i wanted was to hear your voice.
-forgot my name at 11:04 PM
haha maybe pj's right.
when your parents are overseas all the time, you tend to become an attention seeker.
-forgot my name at 10:34 PM
for this whole week, i've been trying to ignore this feeling.
trying to not think so much about whatever is going on on the other side of the world. somehow i feel this is not what i wanna be, not what i wanna do, not what i wanna end up as again.
i've been a good boy this week. coming back from work and trying to squeeze in some shit into the logbook, go jogging, staying clear of booze.
yet, life can't be as simple as when you finish 3 pints.
maybe it's time.
-forgot my name at 9:57 PM
i hope i don't drink 4 out of 7 days for this coming week.
i don't even know what i should do.
-forgot my name at 11:47 PM
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